Hi 1stmom,

I'm sorry that you are having difficulties with your 18 yr. old son. ADHD is definitely a contributing factor here but it is possible there is something else going on. I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose his problem. However, there is another disorder that frequently co-occurs with ADHD and which generally develops around late teens or early adulthood. Some symptoms overlap with ADHD, such as impulsiveness involving risky or self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse, reckless driving, gambling, sexual promiscuity, excessive spending or shopping.

There is also a a tendency to blame others for all of their problems and to not take any responsiblity for their behavior. It also includes mood swings and intense and/or inappropriate anger. Mood changes can be unpredictable and decisions made are based more on emotion than logic.

My husband and daughter both have this disorder, along with ADHD, so I'm very familiar with this other disorder. I don't know whether your son meets the criteria or not but you may want to read up on it if any of this sounds familiar to you. It is called borderline personality disorder (although a number of people, including myself, do not believe it is a true personality disorder but a medical condition that affects the personality) and you can get more information from www.bpddemystified.com (the 9 criteria are rephrased from the psychological jargon to a more easy to understand format on this site) and www.biologicalunhappiness.com The second site is run by our doctor who treats my husband and daughter for BPD and all of us for our ADHD. He is brilliant and his understanding of the two disorders is amazing.

You have to meet at least 5 of the 9 criteria to be diagnosed with the disorder. It is more common than bipolar disorder or schizophrenia but most people have never heard of it. And many who have, have limited understanding of the disorder. There are a lot of myths about the disorder but those two websites are some of the better informed ones.

Good luck. If I can be of any more help, just send me a message.

Elaine

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Hi 1stmom:

Thank you for your post - I feel your anguish and can tell that you're desperate to help your son. Elaine is right that something else could be at work here -- comorbid conditions like depression, bipolar disorder, etc. are very common in adults and children with ADHD. It could be that your son is suffering from something more than just attention deficit... the erratic, angry outbursts are not a typical symptom of ADD.

You might start by talking to your son about seeking treatment for his ADHD. If his behavior improves with appropriate ADHD medication, then your work is done. If you continue to see problems, then you'll likely want to see a specialist for an updated diagnosis taking into consideration the symptoms of comorbid conditions.

Best of luck! And please let us know how things turn out.

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ELaine and Anni, thank you for your responses. I guess my practical question is what can I do with an 18 year old (in our state an adult) who WILL NOT go along with treatment for his ADHD, let alone with treatment for another as yet undiagnosed condition? How can I get him back to the psychiatrist for another evaluation? I can't even talk the Dr., since I am not the patient. Most frustrating.

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I have a 16 year old with ADHD and we went through 2 Psychologists until we found the BEST one! It would be helpful to have a third party involved like a Dr. One thing we've found helpful is to modify his diet with "high protein foods like hamburgers vs pizza". Also adding FISH OIL to the diet (the good quality type from the Whole Food or Health Food Store AND Lecithin which helps the brain also. If this was my son he would either need to work full-time OR attend community college and maybe work part-time somewhere. His self-esteem will climb by him having responsibilites outside the home. You may also want to "write a contract with his HOME RESPONSIBILITIES or pay rent". Excercise would help the mind/body connection and reduce his stress. Good luck to you!

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Istmom, I am going through the very same thing with my 15 year old. It seems as though all common sense has left eventhough he has been tested with a high IQ most of his academic life.

I am very curious why other posters are suggesting to look at bipolar. It has been mentioned to me also, though I think of bipolar as extreme profound differences when they cycle that interferes with normal routines. IDK... I'm wondering why my son chooses (if he has control ) to do what it takes to get what he wants no matter the consequence of ruining his family relationships.

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