I am at the beginning of this journey with a "diagnosis" two weeks ago for my child. I have been doing as much research as possible and realize i should have done this years ago. My little girl is 6 and has been taking Melatonin in the evenings because she had such difficulty going to sleep since she was3.5 yrs old. Now, i realize it is ONE aspect of ADHD.

I was on Dexedrine as a child and i can remember how it felt to be "in control" and i really enjoyed the feeling of being in control.

My daughter is now showing problems in school which could have been dealt with years ago when i mentioned this possibility to her pediatrician... she didn't give it a second thought.

If life is that difficult with her, you need to seek help so you are a HAPPY family! I got a pdf download today when i signed up for ADDitude magazine. It is called ADHD: The Basics. You should read that.

I just can't stress enough about going to a ADHD specialist and not your pediatrician only. We were also using a reward program - a star chart - for good behavior and it really works for her. I also have a evening and morning checklist of "to-dos" for her. Little did i know, these are behavioral suggestions throughout my reading these past several weeks. So, it all seemed to keep the obvious behavior in check.

I hope this makes sense... i'm a bit tired as my little sweet thing couldn't sleep last night.

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Your little girl sounds exactly how mine was when she was 2,3,4,5... and now she's 7. Honestly, I have ADD, but I'm not sure my daughter does. She's always been a very hard kid to parent. Very sensitive, and can get agressive. Thankfully like your daughter, we've never had a bad report from school. So - we know she probably holds it in all day until she can come home to the people she trusts most. She's not like this everyday, but I've definitely noticed that she's much harder to parent on the days where she hasn't had any decent food (Easter, Halloween, etc...) Anytime that there's too much sugar involved and she hasn't had a healthy meal first, it hits her like a ton of bricks. The other time when she will be easily set off is when she's on the verge of getting sick. She just finished up an antibiotic for a sinus infection. She has never had a good mind/body connection and we usually wouldn't even know she was sick because she never says anything.

She's only 3, if I were you, I wouldn't assume she's ADD/ADHD. She's still testing her boudaries and maybe wants to feel as though she has a bit of say in what decisions are made (regarding how her life is run)... Let's say you give her some options about the trolley incident - tell her she can only ride along if she's buckled in her seat, or if it's the stroller, then she either has to sit in it, or push with you from behind - otherwise she's back in the stroller.

Giving them 2 options at least gives them a chance to decide and let's little ones feel like they have a little bit of power or that their opinion matters. As long as the two options are ones that you feel are safe for her and you can live with.

Parenting is NOT easy. i think my firstborn really gave me a run for my money - now i parent my second born with more ease and relaxation. I have better "tools" to use to hep with behavior for him.

I wish you the best of luck.

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sorry, I don't want to sound "preachy" but one program I tried with my daughter and things that we're working on now go along the lines of a book called "little sugar addicts". I'm not saying your daughter is - obviously I don't know her, but you had mentioned that she doesn't eat much. When she does eat... make sure it's the right types of foods - complex carbohydrates (100% whole grain breads, crackers, etc) combined with protein (cheese, eggs, etc.) It will help keep blood sugar levels at normal levels. She could be "uncontrollable" because maybe she's just depleted of all energy if she's not eating a well balanced meal, and then if there's a tantrum involved, it just zaps even more energy out of her little body.

I also give my daughter a kid's version of Omega3 liquid fish oil. If you'd like to - i can give you the brand name, it was recommended to my by my psychologist for my ADD and anxiety symptoms and it seems to keep my daughter's moods more even and stable.

((((( hugs )))))))

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Hello,

I guess you girl is still young to get her tested for ADHD/ADD. Make sure that she is not reacting to any allergen that you might be feeding her without you knowing it. That was the case with my son. He used to have extreme tantrums and become very aggressive. I would be crying many nights questioning my parenting abilities. One thing I was sure, I would not put my kid in any medication. Instead going the quick fix, I did research a lot and I found that sometimes allergic reactions can get confused with ADHD/ADD symptoms. I took him to see a Naturopathic doctor trying to get an answer into the homepathy and before anything was done the doctor suggested to go for allergy blood test and he came with a VERY HIGH allergy to wheat, gluten & eggs. I changed his diet and I changed our lifes in a very good way. He is very easy going now, he had tantrums from time to time (NEVER as intense as before), but it is normal for a 7 year old to have tantrums once in a while, right? My suggestion...go and her testes for food allergies....Good luck!

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My daughter is 4 about to turn 5. I'm going to be taking her into the psych with me on my next trip to have her properly evaluated. I'm doing this because I have adhd and I want to make sure that IF she has it she is diagnosed as soon as possible. The Doc says she can diagnose children her age. My daughter did throw tantrums but many 3 year olds do. She embarrassed the mess out of me more than once screaming and kicking at the top of her lungs in the store for no real reason at all. I know I'm a good parent. I punish her when appropriate and reward her when appropriate. She is a pushy child though, she pushes her limits every day to see if I will remain the same. I understand how difficult it is to have an especially stubborn and sometimes embarrassingly rambunctious child. Until she's old enough to make a proper diagnosis, I did these things with my daughter... I don't let her have very much sugar or "white" foods, I make sure she takes her allergy medicine on time(as best as I can with add myself I set an alarm on my phone), I don't take her out for long periods of time, I give her solid and consistent rewards for good behavior(I bought poster board and stickers I cut up the poster board and when she's good she gets her choice of stickers from the bag to decorate a piece of poster don't know if yours is into stickers). I gave her a meter for how much she or I is aggravated, I use a thermometer drawing when she's calm it's in the "blue" when she's acting out she's getting in the "red". She knows every one in the house needs to stay in the blue, so when she's acting up I say your are getting here on the thermometer and if you keep up you are not going to get stickers today and if she's frustrating me I make it very clear that I'm getting in the "red" myself and if she keeps it up she will also go into time out. As she liked to throw a fit time-out for her has to be a dimmed quiet area with no distraction for her and I usually put a pillow or something down so she doesn't hurt herself making a fuss. I tell her calmly, you can throw a fit her, you can do it all you like but no one has to watch you do it. This ended the fits fairly quickly. She tested me in public a few time and I had to do the hard thing once or twice and that was check out quickly or leave my cart and take her to a quiet spot immediately and show her that she was not going to get attention or anything she wanted this way. It was hard and it took several times, but eventually it worked, now every once and a while she'll get teared up, but I can usually talk her down. I usually keep some sort of small reward on me for instant gratification if she's being particularly good, or to say.. do you think you might want this? if she's acting out if she's interested in it, then I can say well then you better behave like a little lady or you won't get it.

Sorry for the long post. Hope it helped.

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I know it is very frustrating that a child is having a temper tantrum because it always seem to be in a situation where other are who don't know you and in many ways makes you feel that you are being a bad parent. No this is not bad parenting or even ADHD because she can behave when she needs too. The best way to handle a tantrum is to take the child to area where they can not hurt themselves and let them have it. No anger or yelling because a child who is having a tantrum is having a meltdown and if they could just stop they would. My daughter had a few at this age and I had a man tell me I was not being a good parent because I let her. I told him to mind his business because he had no idea what he was talking about. When she was finished I told her the answer was still "NO" and it would not change my answer. A non-ADD child will grow out of tantrums. Tantrums can and do usually occur when they are tired and they get frustrated. Children don't have the skills yet to keep it together and that is why you always hear about the terrible 2's and the terrifying 3's . Most children do out grow them , they aren't that rare, most children experience them some more than others, they have nothing to do with bad parenting and yes they seem to happen at the worst time ever. I would be more concerned if she bounces off the walls, doesn't sleep , was cockily , and never is able to behave at all. By the time she is 4-5 you will not recognize her she will be much more easier to deal with child . If it doesn't change then I would worry about ADD/ADHD

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I was trying to say that, but can't describe a tree for talking about the forest. lol

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