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| yourfavoritejane |
Join Date:
Sat 3rd Jan 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 4 |
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Immaturity and ADHD
My son will be 15 next month and I'm really concerned about his emotional development. I know that children with ADHD are often behind their peers as far as emotional development, but I can honestly say I haven't seen any change in his behavior in 5 years. He really acts like he's about 10 years old, sometimes younger. He is doing well academically and typically makes friends easily, but they are often quite a bit younger than he is, or other kids his age that also have ADHD. I allow him to have these friendships and frankly have been happy to not have to deal with "normal" teen behavior, but when I think that he only has 3 1/2 years before he's out of high school...there is NO WAY he'd be ready to go to college. He's not interested in girls, hasn't begun to go through puberty, tells jokes that are funny to 8-10 year olds, lacks self control as far as touching people (wrestling, hugging, grabbing, etc,) has no filter on what comes out of his mouth, etc. He's also attending a private school that caters towards children with learning disabilities. While it has been wonderful in helping him academically, there are only about 40 kids in the school and only a handful of them are his age. He sees a psychiatrist, counselor, pediatrician and an auditory processing tutor. He's also living with my parents so that there are less distractions and he can have their undivided attention...all he does is play video games and watch tv. I can't get him to read, there aren't kids in the neighborhood to play with. He is involved in Youth Group, on a basketball team, etc, but with his immaturity... Could this be more than just ADHD? |
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| Elaine20 |
Join Date:
Sat 10th Nov 2007
Threads: 5 Posts: 265 |
Immaturity and ADHD
Last edited by Elaine20 : 4 Jan 2009 @ 5:02 PM.
Reason: Edit
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| yourfavoritejane |
Join Date:
Sat 3rd Jan 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 4 |
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Thank you so much!
This is very helpful, thank you! It's nice to hear that he's not the only one going through this and that other families understand! He is on medication - he'd never get through school or finish his homework if he wasn't. It's a definite help! I will check out the Dr. you mentioned - thanks so much for the info! Good luck to you and your family :) Jane |
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| Anni |
Join Date:
Thu 25th Oct 2007
Threads: 18 Posts: 416 |
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Making Friends with ADHD
Hi Jane: Elaine has excellent advice and information. I just wanted to pass along this link to ADDitude's best articles about helping ADHD kids make friends. There are some useful tips in those articles about role playing for social skills and other strategies for helping your son build up his social maturity. Best of luck! - Anni
Last edited by Anni : 5 Jan 2009 @ 2:30 PM.
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| harleygirl |
Join Date:
Wed 26th Mar 2008
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Immaturity and ADHD
I really was able to identify the immaturity issue. We have a 14 year old, and she is extremely immature. I also worry about the future, being successful in her work, having a family, etc.. I do need some help though with a question. We were recently on vacation with my daughters' cousins, along with aunts and uncle. My daughter, an only child, would ask over and over again the same request until she got the answer she was looking for (example: she would ask "would you go swimming with me?"). Should would not take no for an answer. She is currently on ADHD meds., meds for mood disorder, and SSRI. Can anyone identify with this? |
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| yourfavoritejane |
Join Date:
Sat 3rd Jan 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 4 |
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Asking over and over...
My son also does this and gets in quite a snit when we have to tell him no. In your situation, I would take her aside and tell her that no one wants to swim at that time, but maybe someone would later...you might offer to do it yourself, or just tell her that she can ask again after awhile. It's hard for them to wait for anything, but they need to learn patience. I've found that if I explain things to my son in a way where I'm not putting him down for what he's doing, but simply stating that there is a better way to handle the situation he takes to it better. If I were to say to him, "No one wants to swim right now, but they might after awhile, and I'll be happy to let you know when it's OK to ask again.", he'd be more likely to listen and understand than to run off in a huff or just ignore me. It would let her know what's appropriate without making her feel bad and puts it on you to guide her as to when it's appropriate to ask again. Hope this helps! PS. I forgot to say that it also seems to help to give him something else to do when waiting...either a totally different activity, or perhaps see how deep she can dive for quarters, or something.
Last edited by yourfavoritejane : 5 Jan 2009 @ 6:56 PM.
Reason: Additional thought...
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| yourfavoritejane |
Join Date:
Sat 3rd Jan 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 4 |
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Thanks!
Thank you, Anni, I will take a look at this too! Quote: Anni said: Hi Jane: |
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| harleygirl |
Join Date:
Wed 26th Mar 2008
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Immaturity and ADHD
This is good advice, and I have applied some of these ideas. I also think that it is part of her anxiety/OCD. The immaturity issue is so relevant, as well. You are so right about feeling as if I am "putting her down". Just this morning she told me that I am so negative when it comes to her. I really need to be more mindful of this. Thanks, again. |
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| DREP |
Join Date:
Mon 5th May 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 9 |
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ADHD & IMMATURITY
I WAS READING YOUR BLOG, & WAS WONDERING, IF A PERSON HAS ADHD, DEVELOPMENTAL DISABLED, & HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISM, & IS CHRONILOGICALY 30 YEARS OLD, WHERE WOULD THE DEVELOPMENTAL AGE BE? THE ADHD IS SEVERE. |
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| yourfavoritejane |
Join Date:
Sat 3rd Jan 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 4 |
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From what I've read...
At 30% behind they'd be around 21 years old developmentally. But, being developmentally disabled and having Autism might change things. I would ask his/ her physician what they think. Quote: drep said: I WAS READING YOUR BLOG, & WAS WONDERING, IF A PERSON HAS ADHD, DEVELOPMENTAL DISABLED, & HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISM, & IS CHRONILOGICALY 30 YEARS OLD, WHERE WOULD THE DEVELOPMENTAL AGE BE? THE ADHD IS SEVERE. |
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