Hello everyone, just so everyone knows I am not new here to ADDitude , you guys know me as LadyRaines526928 , as you can see I changed my screen name . Any way sorry I haven't posted in a while , I've been incredibly busy with the Holiday season , getting all the items I need to make Christmas dinner , don't get me wrong I don't mind the holiday season I just dont like all the stress & crazyness that goes along with it .

On to what my post is about

Man I tell ya 2008 has been a hard & trying year for all of us . The economy, the gas crisis ect ect I am really praying that 2009 will be a better year for all of us , I pray in the year 2009 that I'll be able to mend the relationship btween William & I - I pray that in 2009 that I will be able to find an honest, loving christian couple who is interested in proceeding in an Open Adoption with William , but at the same time still allowing to be a part of my son's life , watching him grown , mature & turn into the man of god that I know he can if he is placed with the proper people & in the proper environment .

On a more personal note

I am praying that 2009 will be a better year for Jeremy & I , Jeremy & I have been through so much this year , we've gone through some pretty rough times . Jeremy & I are praying that 2009 will be the year that I am able to go back to school to get my GED , then after that we are really praying that I can dive head first into the computer classes that I have been itching to take , so I can persue getting my Degree in Web Graphic's Design . Now While I am going to school Jeremy & I are really hoping that we will get our wish of having a family of our own in 2009 , since we didn't suceed in concieving in 2008 - we praying that 2009 will be our year . Mean while I am itching to take my PSY Eval that DSS has ordered me to take so I can be considered to be fit to have supervised visiations with William - I'm also itching to get moving on taking my the parenting classes, as well as the domestic violence classes that DSS has ordered me to take ( I personally think the domestic violence classes are stupid but I'll take them just so that away I can prove my intentions ) I could care less about having supervised visations with William , I could care less about some one watching me as I visit my son because all I care about is having a relationship with my son & him knowing that I love him & want nothing more but the best possible life for him , even if that means my heart has to break .

On a more sensitive subject

I am praying that my grand mother will live through the month of January ,but my grand mother isn't doing too good , according to my aunt who called my mom my grand is proably not going to live to see her 94th birthday & that my mom & I better get our butts over to visit my grand mother because she's not got very much life left in her . I'll be honest I know that my grand mother is done, she's made her peace & she's ready to meet Jesus when he calls her , a part of me hates the thaught of not being here to watch William grow, or see Jeremy & I have our family , I hate the fact that she's never going to see the progess my mom has made in her new apartment but yet I am comforted by know that grand is happy with how her life turned out & I know that when she goes to the kingdom of god she's going to be greeted with love .

On another note - I am praying that my review for social security disability goes good, the fact that my Dr's appointment has been set for Jan 13th which is two days before my 28th birthday , apparently social secuirty feels as tho I don't have enough medical evidence to show that my ADD has disabled me , so there for their wanting me to have a medical examination along with some other tests . I am praying that these tests will show that the medical evidence is there , the last thing I want to do is going through all the hell I went through when I first applied for my disability Neuro Eval's , all the tests ect ect because there is truly medical evidence to show that I am ADD and that my ADD disables me in many areas .

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