Hi, am new here...I am a parent of a child with adhd. I also have suspected myself of having problems for years but have never seen a doctor about it. I am considering doing that now as my symptoms have gotten to the point where they are unmanageable.

When our son was having adhd problems we had him on stimulants for a while but ended up getting him off of them by using neurofeedback... this worked great for a while, but sadly, I am afraid we are going to have to start him back on meds as he is beginning to do poorly in school....it is too bad, as he's a very bright kid. However, his adhd problems are mild compared with mine.

I have (I believe) had adhd since I was a child... I have always been very, very hyper. I can't sit still very long, have trouble attending my kids' activities because I can't sit still... when our son had a wrestling meet I bet I walked 5 miles going around and around the outside of the gym just to be on the move. We can't go to a movie... I choose to rent movies so that I can stop them in the middle and get up and move, clean house, or go smoke (my new hobby lol).

When I am sitting I will be constantly moving and it drives everyone nuts, but usually I don't even know I am doing it until it is pointed out to me. The only time I am not moving is when I am asleep, and anytime I have to sit still (like in the car etc....obviously not when I am driving) I am asleep almost immediately.

I also am extremely disorganized, losing keys, papers, etc....making lists and then losing them (this happens several times a day) etc. I forget appointments, forget to send bills, forget to send payments etc. I am also a person who tends to zone out in the middle of conversations and have to have people repeat what they have said to me. I hate this because it makes me look rude. No matter how hard I try, I can't help it.

Most of my life I have been able to somehow compensate....I did extremely well in high school and college. My husband and I have a small business (which I struggle very hard to manage), and I also work part time as an RN at the local small hospital.

We have seen a lot of trouble over the past month...we've had several deaths in our family, had one of my son's friends move in with us, I am in a fight with one of my friends, and I feel like my adhd type problems have worsened severely...I am almost unable to function...I feel like I have all these thoughts but they are just out there and I can't control them.

I am currently taking Paxil 20 mg (been on it 2 1/2 months), and started Xanax which I take occasionally for stress about a month and a half ago (well right about the time the first death occurred...I went and got on it because I couldn't calm down and was freaking out). I take about 3-5 Xanax per week depending on the week....usually at night because I can't get my brain to shut off. I have a constant stream of thoughts.

I am actually considering seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in my life because I think I have this adhd and it is just out of control and I am just wondering if this is how other adults with adhd feel, or if I am dreaming this up. I won't go to a local doctor about it because there is no way they are going to put me on Ritalin or Strattera or anything....they will just think I am a crack head...I am serious. Which is stupid, because I've never been a drug abuser or alcoholic, but you wouldn't believe how hard it is to even get Paxil or Xanax, so I sure in the heck am not going to go in complaining of adhd.

I have found one thing that will help....if I take one of those 5 hour energy drinks with about 2 of those yellow hornets (I think they are mostly caffeine but they have vitamins in them too...you're only suppose to take one, but whatever), and then take the other 2 after lunch...it will help SOME.

Just wondering if anyone who actually had adhd would find that my symptoms might be consistent with theirs...wondering if this is normal....thanks

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