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Some ideas...
4better...First, let me say I feel for you, and am genuinely sorry you are where you are. I suffer from ADHD and was diagnosed 6.5 years into a 9.5 year marriage. I feel that ADHD, and depression, played a major role in the failure of my marriage. Although I am the ADHD sufferer, and my wife was the ADHD sufferee, I did see how my ADHD affected her life...our life.
I think the best piece of advice I can offer is to get educated on ADHD, and it's role in relationships. I bought a book for me and my wife, and was hurt that she didn't read it, despite my asking her to. The book was A.D.D. and Romance and I'm pasting a link below. (I have nothing to do with Amazon or the author...I'm just providing the link as an aid.)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/087833209X
Here are a couple of things to think about...
- Emotional aspect of ADHD...ADHD doesn't stop at an inability to focus. There are plenty of accompanying emotional aspects that you might want to keep in mind. I know that for myself, I also battle depression and that appears to be common among people with ADHD.
- He's sick...It's hard to think this way, but something you might want to consider is that ADHD is an illness and your husband is indeed sick. And, it's a cunning illness that affects your life together in many, many ways. I understand your frustration with his regimen not being as effective as you think it could be, and that needs to be addressed...perhaps in couples counseling?
- Support Groups...I know nothing about this, but perhaps there are support groups for people in your position. Obviously you're seeking support by posting here, and I'm guessing you did some research, as well, but maybe if you had support on this, you would be better equipped to do what's best for both of you?
I am not trying to take sides and tell you to give him a free pass on all of his behavior. You are in a tough position and only you can ultimately decide what needs to be done. But, I would encourage you to keep looking for answers and support.
I certainly wish you the best, and hope you find the right answer...it's a really tough spot to be in, I'm sure.
Wishing you both the best,
Eric
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