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ADD & OCD together are some times just too much
The last couple of days have been kinda stressful . Jeremy's OCD has been really intense due to agrueements & disagreements with certain member's of his family . The last couple of days Jeremy & I haven't exzactly gotten along & there's been some tense between us . Jeremy bless his heart made a statement to me yesterday while he was straightening the towl that hung over the door the fridge that his family trigger's a major part of his OCD & just pushes him to his breaking point , he told me that he was trying really hard to fight the OCD but that he can't help but feel that he has to have to have everything perfect & in order . I didn't say anything because I just didn't have the energy to express my feelings at that moment . I'll be honest there are times when Jeremy's OCD just gets too intense for my ADD brain, having to pay attention to all that detail ( which the OCD drags out of you ) just burns me out some times , especially if something has triggered Jeremy during the day . Jeremy made a statement to me last night as we were laying in bed that he get so aggrovated with his OCD & all the energy that it requires , the fact that yesterday it took him 3 hours just to leave the house so we could run some arrons , he told me last night that he just wants to live a normal life, he just wants to be able to get up & go and do things just like normal people do . I thaught to myself bless his man's heart I wish there was something I could do but there's not , due to the fact that the state of NC has poor mental health services that need major improvements doesn't make things any better . Truth is the matter is I love Jeremy very very much & I know alot of people might think that I am crazy for stayin with a man who has so many issues - Jeremy made a comment to me yesterday that he knows he has issues & that he knows his OCD is a big source of his problems and that he understands if I want to no longer be with him & want to leave the relationship . Fact is I would never leave him , leaving him would do nothing , if anything it would proably make him worse , considering the fact that I am the only one who really gets who Jeremy is deep down inside , the person he is on the inside - the fact that he has a disorder that he can't help doesn't make me love him any less . All I can continue to do is love him , support him & encourage him and pray that one day that god will improve the state of NC's mental health community .
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