Ok, I replied, but it's not showing up, so I'm going to reply again. Sorry if it's just a lag, and it shows up twice!

My heart goes out to you. I'm also caught in that web of wanting to make everything ok, and knowing I can't, but trying anyway :)

I think you're on the right track with getting professional help beyond your pediatrician. I think you should also go ahead with the testing, with the knowledge that you may have to retest when things change. But that's true of just about everything.

To medicate or not, and how much is always a tricky question. I think that everyone has to find their own comfort balance and that the balance may change over time. I put off getting my son diagnosed until he was 8 because I was afraid that medication would be my only option. Now, he's taking Concerta. I'm looking into Clonidine for his sleep problems, but I'm not entirely comfortable with that yet, so not yet, but maybe soon. So, I went from absolutely no meds, to looking at more than using one.

Good luck!

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Hi. My daughter was DX 1yr 1/2 ago. She is on Focalin XR 10mg. With the exception of some appetite loss, she does very well on this medication. I'm sorry your going through a hard time with medications. I also have an issue with trying to fix this issue for my daughter. I just want to make everything better for her.

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Hi, We are right there with you with our 9 year old son in 3rd grade. I feel for you since I know how stressful it is. My husband and I are exhausted and stressed out from all of this. We sometimes feel as though we are ignoring our other children because of our son taking 80% of our time. I think rather than spinning your wheels and debating about the testing, you need to do it. What do you have to lose? It is better to have the information than not have it. It is expensive...we paid $1800 for the testing. We had our son tested in July by a neuropsychologist who diagnosed him with "Anxiety that mimics ADHD symptoms". We had to wait 4 months to see the best child psychiatrist in town to discuss meds (get your appts lined up asap as the best ones usually have a waiting list). She felt he needed medication for the ADHD symptoms. Thank heavens he doesn't have any learning disabilities. She first tried Straterra and he had bad mood swings. We are now on Focalin XR 10 mg which is good for 7 hours. We are having trouble with the rebound effect. He can get pretty nasty. We started him seeing a child psychologist a year ago after he started pulling his hair which is called trichotillomania and a type of OCD. The stress of having to sit in school for 7 hours and behave is what spurs it on. The psychologist has helped my husband and I in dealing with this as well. We have better tools to deal with the rebound and try to not let him "hook us" when getting nasty. Some days we feel the focalin works and other days we don't. Three weeks ago, we started him on a very low dose of celexa 5 mg to deal with the anxiety. We haven't seen much affect yet, but it takes 4-6 weeks for it to work. He had some insommnia and is falling asleep later than usual by about an hour. I, too, am an anti med person, but just knew this child needs help. You are doing the right thing by getting on top of this now rather than when he is in middle school. Our psychologist has repeatedly told us this and so has my well informed sister in law who has older children and has seen other parents not get their children help and they fall so far behind and by middle school it is hard to catch up. Also, do you have a friend that has an older child with ADHD that can help you with support and with contacts? I have found someone and she is a great resource for me. Also, read Dr. Ned Followell's books. They will help in dealing with. I should say skim them as who has time to read a book when you have kids??! Anyway, I could go on and on, but will stop here. Good luck. I just don't feel the pediatricians are knowledgeable enough on the meds. You definitely need a good child psychiatrist. Have to say, they can be a little "different", but are knowledgeable. We see her regularly as she has to weigh our son and she is reassuring to talk the meds over with. Good luck!

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Oh my! Your story sounds SO similar to mine, but I have a 7 yr. old boys...we did daytrana (didn't work), then adderall xr (worked for alittle bit), vyvanse 3o mg...which worked well for several months...then just quit, it was like he was taking nothing. I LOVE our pedi dr...he is the greatest...but I got to the point where I was about to LOOSE it! Our mornings were dreadful and he was always in trouble and after I took him to school I cried the whole way home. His grades were dropping. He was in constant motion. He wasn't growing right. And the list goes on and on. We finally got in to a specialist @ childrens. He is now on Concerta 36 mg. 7 she also put him on Pediactin (sp?), which our normal pedi never had heard of. The Pediactin is sometimes given for allergies (which my son has so it does help with this) but she gave it to him becasue of it's use as an appetite stimulant. On top of those things, it helps him sleep better (he takes it at night). I knew he had trouble falling asleep, but never realized how "not well" he was sleeping. This med has helped him sleep soooo much better, eat more, and feel better. I honestly can NOT beleive the difference it has made. His attitude is better, he feels better, he is more compliant. Don't get me wrong...it isn't a wonder drug..he still has ADHD symtoms but the Concerta is slowly kicking in and I think it's helping...but just the improvment from eating and sleeping better have made his ADHD symptoms not so "strong". His teacher emailed me for the first time this year and told me what a great day he had today and proud she was...I wanted to cry I was sooo happy! Your your son's only advocate...do what you need to do...take him somewhere else where they are really knowledgable about ADHD, etc...he NEEDS the right help/meds in order for his life and yours to be the best it possibly can.!!!

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Thank you to all that replied. It is nice to know I am not the only parent feeling like I losing my mind! I have contacted a child phychitrist hopefully I get him him there and provide him with the help he needs. I am going to go ahead and schedule the IEP testing as well. Currently, our son is in a small private school which we switched him to 1 1/2 years ago however due to the size and funding I do not think they have the services that he may require for classroom aids. Also, his class has 14 students total and 12 of them are boys- to say the least his class is very challenging. Many are very simular to him. My husband and I had a meeting wtih both of his teachers this week and are very compassionate to our son, they have a pretty good grip as t o when Jeffrey is "wtih them" , they also said they are willing to work with us about his school work etc. I am kind of at a crossroads as to whether this school is right for him however as we all know finiancing has big role to play in that. He use to be in the public school however I am not real crazy about our public school system. It leaves alot to be desired.

He does take an additional med for sleep and appetite but he does not like it because he has increased difficulty waking up. He is to see the pediatrician next week so we shall see. I know it will be a day by day thing for our children and all we can do is search for the best help and pray to God that we help them succeed.

Again thanks!

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My son has ADHD/OCD,I just dont know what I should do, I feel lost with him.... I have caught my son suffocating his 2yr old sister and when he was spanked for it (my first reaction) he cried for a second then he stopped and continued to watch cartoons and play in her room. There is no punishment that phases him at all nor any rewards when he is good, he seems to be almost emotionless and that scares me. He is on 50mg of Vyvance, 5mg of Adderral, and 20mg of Prozac but none seem to be working. He has been caught stealing money and little things from around the house and breaking anything that he pretty much puts his hands on. I just got him a brand new bedroom set and he has already destroyed it by bitting the wood, I dont understand the reason for him eating his bed. He has also been peeing on his pillow because he doesnt feel like leaving his room to go to the bathroom. He is now starting to get really smart with his mouth and I feel like I am getting close to my breaking point. I've tried using a reward board but it works for a day but then he is over it. He throws tatrums when he cant do what he wants and he is always locked in his room, as a matter of fact I took his door off today because I was tired of him closing everyone out. I sometimes feel like he is in his own world and doesnt want anyone with him. I had put some card with words he needed to know on his wall and he took them all down but left three cards up that read "People Always Around" which has me worried and he has told me and my sister a few times that he wishes he had a brother so he could keep him locked up under his bed. Some of the things that he has done and said makes me wonder if ADHD and OCD isnt all that he has....

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I understand your frustration as we have dealt with the same with my daughter who is now 11. We had her on Concerta and that seemed like it worked the best and thenhere lately, we have adjusted her on to Adderall. We deal just with a psychiatrist as the pediatric doctor just doesn't have enough info on kids like ours. Also, we are just looking intobimedical treatments and supplements and also trying her as possibly mood disorder with or without adhd. They can go hand in hand and or be seperate. I would love to share more info with you from the road we have been on.

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I think you will be banging your heads for a long time. My son is now 14 and we have been through soo much. First you need testing done by a psycologist to find out everything your son has, If this is not available through the your sons school. After doing this, you need to make sure the doctor not only talks and recommends a medication to your sons pediatrician but you also need to take the results of the tests and the phycologists recommendations of what will help him best in school. They will need this or the school will just go on there testing and if he does not qualify they will not help with IEP and so forth. Make sure you keep a notebook and meeting times and what is discussed and agreed upon. Always take your husband with you. Not only is he good support the school and teachers will be more likely to help and maybe you will not get emotional with your husband beside you. I hope this all works and I am just telling you things from my personal struggles. I will say that as my son grows older he is managing better and the fact that he knows that his thinking and doing things is different, but not a bad thing. Where as, I may get a cookbook at the library and take it home and maybe never do anything with it, He will take that same book find a recipe on the way home, badger me to go straight to the store and while in the store with the book we will get the ingredients. An hour later we are eating a delicious chicken pizza cooked on the grill. Thank God for his determination, his curiousness, and his zest fo LIFE.

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Hi! I feel your pain!!! But always remember that you can help your child as best you can but you cannot "cure" him. It hurts to have to accept that but it's just the way it is. The best we can do is to help them at every turn, reassure them over and over and over that we love them, give constant explanations of just what ADD/ADHD is and how it is not something they themselves caused while reinfocing that they do have a responsibility to work at helping themselves. I certainly don't claim to be an expert but I do have an 11-year-old son who has ADHD. I noticed a problem already in Kindergarten but was unable to get anyone to listen to me until half way thru first grade. I even took him to the University of Iowa (which has a very good reputation for children's issues) and THEY told me he didn't have ADHD after they gave him a very cursory check-up. Thankfully I was able to find a doctor who took the time and thoroughly checked my son out and diagnosed him with ADHD and got him on medications. What a difference! We went from flunking out of first grade to A's, B's and an occasional C. I am a registered nurse so I really didn't want him on medication but sometimes it's just necessary. Jonah (my son) started out on Ritalin and it really seemed to help. But after a year on that, Jonah informed me that the Ritalin gave him a headache and a stomachache EVERY day. Broke my heart....all that time and he never told me. So we tried Concerta...no help. Straterra...no help and tasted terrible. (My son cannot or will not swallow pills or capsules so we have to open up his capsules). Daytrana patches weren't strong enough and we tried them during the summer and didn't have time to build them up before the new school year started. And I wanted him on something that would help him control himself BEFORE a new school year started! Anyway, what I am saying is that you need to be willing to try different meds until you find one that you and your son are comfortable with. It takes time..... My son came from an orphanage in Romania and it was definitely NOT a nice place so when he started displaying signs of explosive anger and frustration, I assumed it was related to that. (My ex and I have always believed that our son was restrained in the orphanage from things that we saw when we were there and on the flight home). I have to tell you that those first few years were absolute HELL and there were times I thought I just couldn't take it anymore. It was so awful. You need to make sure you turn to your friends, family, the school for help or it can overwhelm you. Are you on good terms with your son's teacher? I always make an effort to meet the teacher before the school year and make sure she understands that I will do ANYTHING to help my child. I had one teacher who agreed to writing in a notebook everyday and telling me how my son did and where/when he had problems throughout the day and then she would send it home with him every night. I would write in it telling her how my son's night went. and send it back to school the next day. It was a wonderful tool to monitor his progress (or lack thereof). Most teachers won't go that far but most are willing to write me a note whenever there is a problem and usually send me at least one note a week to keep me updated. Now that Jonah is in the 5th grade his teacher just emails me if there is a problem, if there is a special assignment coming up, if he had done really well on something, etc. I always make a big deal of his successes and try to downplay his failures. I still make sure that he knows that he has to do better but also make sure he knows that I am there to help him. I also make sure that his siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins that we have constant contact with, are aware of what is going on with so that they also can encourage him. Think how frustrated you are and then imagine how much more frustrated your son must be and how that drags him down. But also, always remember that there are lots of us out here who have been through this and are still going through this and we can help one another. God Bless You!!

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