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Thread : Finding the Gift  
26 Nov 2008 @ 7:45 PM
lisao Join Date: Wed 26th Nov 2008
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Finding the Gift

Hello all, I am new here, and I am hoping you can help. I have a 13-year old stepdaughter with ADD. At the moment she is not on any medication and she is homeschooled by me because we could not ensure her personal safety at school - she knows about stranger danger, she just doesn't connect her knowledge with what she does. But anyway, I have been reading books about ADD teens and have read a lot about how most ADD kids do have special gifts, or special talents and passions unique to themselves, that makes it easier for them to learn even if it is just on that special area of their lives. My question is, what do you do to help your teen identify this gift so that i can help her have some successes in her life? Over the past six years I have tried to encourage her in sports, music, art, cooking, writing etc and there does not appear to be anything she is passionate about. Teaching her the basics of maths and English is hard enough, and she doesn't have a lot of success socially either - can anyone give me any clues as to what else I can try as I know she does not have a good self-esteem and despite the problems we have, I do think she deserves to have a decent life doing something she wants to do. Any comments would be appreciated, thank you

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29 Nov 2008 @ 4:34 PM Reply # 1
bookofnights Join Date: Wed 26th Nov 2008
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following bread crumbs

Is there anything that she loves doing? Often times it can be a tiny thing that doesn't seem like much, but can lead to a related area that makes a huge difference. (There used to be a series of articles that would start with something like, "Johnny loves to ride his bicycle. What kind of job will that get him?" and then it would walk through the steps to show that Johnny would make a great engineer or whatever.)

When my son was first diagnosed with ADHD, I compiled a list of famous people that had it and shared that list with him. Are there famous people that she's really into? Showing that they have a connection might help. It may not be widely known that a given famous person has ADHD or another LD right away. You may have to do some poking around. I mean, I didn't know Michael Phelps had ADHD until after he won all those medals. And I didn't know that Daniel Radcliffe had a neurological disorder called dyspraxia until I read about it in an interview.

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29 Nov 2008 @ 10:48 PM Reply # 2
lisao Join Date: Wed 26th Nov 2008
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RE: Thank you

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. I do understand what you mean by the tiny things, but one concept she has trouble with appears to be "caring" for anything or anybody. She almost lives in a type of vacuum where she is the only person she is focused on. When she talks to her few friends she is only talking about what she has done - if she is watching television or listening to music she is only interested in singing along with it (badly I am afraid) and the only interest she seems to be fostering is in boys. I find it really frustrating because I don't seem to be able to convey to her an interest in anything beyond our home - for example other cultures, beliefs, ways of life. If I ask her what she wants to do she just says she will work in a local grocery store and make money so that she can buy her music cd's. Her isolation and self centeredness worries me the most because I am afraid she won't be able to function as a contributing adult outside of the home. I will keep working on it though :) Thank you again Lisa

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29 Nov 2008 @ 11:35 PM Reply # 3
bookofnights Join Date: Wed 26th Nov 2008
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teens

With teenagers sometimes total self-involvement, bad choices, and lack of empathy for others sometimes seems par for the course. However, if this seems outside the bounds of normal teenage behavior (and it sounds like you are pretty sure it is), you may want to get a professional involved. There may be other things than the ADHD involved, too. She may need to be evaluated for one of the many "fun" conditions that so often appear with ADHD.

You say she's not on medication at the moment. Does that mean you've tried them in the past? Are you using anything like the Omega 3 fish oil at this time?

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Last edited by bookofnights : 30 Nov 2008 @ 6:17 PM. Reason:
1 Dec 2008 @ 9:49 PM Reply # 4
lisao Join Date: Wed 26th Nov 2008
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RE: Omega Three

Hello and thank you for your reply. Living in NZ we often don't have access to the same medications I read about on this site. Chey was on Ritolin when she was first diagnosed some four years ago and for a while there it was a wonder cure. But as she got older and hit her teenage years it seemed like her behaviour became more a question of choice, than actually helped by the Ritolin. Also because of subsidy rates changing Chey was put on Rubefen instead (I think that was what it was called) and her behavior dropped drastically. I have heard some talk about the benefits of Omega three and other such supplements - could you give me any idea what sort of dosage she would need, and if there is anything else you might suggest that could help modify her behaviour a bit. At the moment I am very careful about restricting her intake of food colorings and sugars, but I don't have much information on anything else natural that might help - so any suggestions would be wonderful. Thank you again for your time Lisa

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