My duaghter just turned six. She has ADHD. We found out and the end of the last school year. Kindergarten was horrible for both me my daughter and her teacher. She would throw tantrums and scream at any little thing that may have upset her. I would love to tell you I have the answere..but I don't. I am about at my wits end with doctors, therapists and all the like. I have found that we take two steps forward and one step back. Some days are great and then others are awful. But the only thing I can tell you that has worked for me is to let my daughter know when she is having a meltdown(about whatever it is) that she is safe with me. My therapist told us to try it. Its not 100% but most times when she hears that she will regress from angry and turn into a little girl who just sobs in my lap. Ususally after that it gets better. Like i said I wish i could tell you something that will solve it but it may help. I hope and pray it does. Just hang in there and keep on going!!!! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! Lisa

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My son had a rough kindergarten experience with two different schools. I finally transfered him to a supportive school district this year for 1st grade. The school psychologist brought a team together, which was comprised of the principal, his teacher, school social worker, special ed teacher, and myself. We (the team) came to an agreement that my son would benefit in a smaller classroom with therapeutic component. At first it was a hard decision to take my son out of a mainstream classroom but I realized it was something he needed and for me to let those feelings go. Currently, my son is in a high needs classroom with 6 other students and the teacher student ratio is 2 students to 1 teacher. The classroom is all about positive reinforcement so they reward kids by implementing a token economy. This classroom setting has made a big difference in my son's self esteem and attitude toward school. He still needs the additional support such as meds and therapy but having a supportive classroom that meets your childs needs has alleviated the a lot of problems.

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Hi Lisa- thanks for that. The hugging is a brilliant idea. I also had a chat with my son yesterday after he had another major meltdown. He decided that he is going to count until he calms down (his idea!). I am obviously going to remind him if I think he is getting close. Hopefully this will help a bit.

Stella-Brilliant idea regarding school but he is undiagnosed and he doesn't meltdown until he gets home. i spoke to the teacher this morning, I explained that all the small critisisms are chipping away at him and maybe he needs more support. She told me that she will keep an eye on him (what ever that means!!). The school just will not act until they have the dx. It sad because I had exactly the same problem with my older son (asd and LD). He is now at special needs school and thriving. Thanks again. Lisax

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pinklisa said: hi, I am desperate for help. I know my son has ADHD (me and my husband both have it). At the moment we are struggling to get a dx. I am pretty sure this is because we cope with him well. His older brother has autism so we treat the little one the same. The trouble is until we have the ex we are not being supported in any way, his emotional issues are a bit overwhelming!! When I say emotion I mean highs and lows but the lows are the hardest to deal with. He can scream and cry just because say I opened a door he had wanted to open or if I wipe his face when he wanted to. It goes on all day. I am mostly very calm, I talk things through, use time outs and sticker rewards but I just don't know how to carry on with this one. A couple of days ago he just kept crying and saying "I can't take this anymore" which is heart breaking. Any advise or just support would be great. Many thanks Lisa

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pinklisa said: When I say emotion I mean highs and lows but the lows are the hardest to deal with. He can scream and cry just because say I opened a door he had wanted to open or if I wipe his face when he wanted to. It goes on all day. I am mostly very calm, I talk things through, use time outs and sticker rewards but I just don't know how to carry on with this one. A couple of days ago he just kept crying and saying "I can't take this anymore" which is heart breaking.

Hi Lisa,

My son is ADHD, and 14. (He'll be 15 next month.) He also has had bad melt downs. I'd love to say that they go away but they don't. However, we've done a couple of things that help.

Here's my advice.

1. Get a counselor's help. I remember when my son said he didn't want to live anymore. When your son says, "I can't take this anymore" it just echoes for me. When you're out of ideas, they can help.

2. I think his desperation is based on his inability to control his meltdowns. Here's something weird that works really well for us. (My son hates it, but admits that it works.) When he starts to have a meltdown I have him turn his t-shirt around so that he's wearing it backwards. It so jolts him out of the moment that he's able to regain control.

3. Use a timer to prevent meltdowns. This may be more valuable later on, when he's doing homework and playing computer games. We set a timer for 5 minutes when he was five. (We've added a minute every year as he gets a year older, so now he's up to 15 minutes.) Things that lead to breakdowns get a timer, and when the timer goes off, he gets a break before he melts down. He also gets major rewards if he feels a meltdown coming on, and stops doing what he's doing before it hits.

4. My son recommends letting him wipe his own face, if that's what he wants to do :)

I hope these help.

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