Hello:

Thank you for posting your experience - I couldn't believe what I was reading. No school administrator or teacher or other parent or anyone should tell you how to discipline or manage your child. I can't fathom telling another parent to spank their child, and I can't repeat the words I'd use to respond to a suggestion that I use a belt or brush on my son. Unbelievable. Unless you really love your son's teacher or the program at the school, I would suggest looking into alternatives.

Private schools are not required by federal law (as public schools are) to provide academic accommodations for children with ADHD or learning disabilities. And this could become a problem for you.

I would definitely recommend making an appointment with an ADHD specialist to have your son evaluated. And, before you do, I would suggest reading this great ADDitude article - Preschool-Age ADHD Children: Too Young for a Diagnosis?

Your son sounds like a very healthy, normal little boy who just isn't fitting into the round hole his school has deemed necessary. Spanking is not the answer... accommodations and understanding are!

Let us know what happens...

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oh my gosh, as a mother of a 7-yr-old boy i am telling you - get your child out of that school. their idea of a learning environment is letting parents come in to hit their kids? are you kidding me? your son deserves so much better. i, too, put my son in a private kindergarten thinking the same thing - more understanding, more creativity, more, better. i left him there for a year and a half, until his pediatrician told me his plummeting health was a physical stress reaction. he needed counseling for post-traumatic stress. trust your mom instinct. you know this arrogant, ignorant head of school is not what you want for your child or you wouldn't have written this blog. woudl you be friends with her? would you hire her as a babysitter? would you leave your child alone in a room with her? sometimes it's hard not to remember people in authority aren't necesarily YOUR authority. trust your instincts and run. my son is in the local public school, where they have nurtured him back to a happy place and understood him and bent over backwards to accomodate his needs and make his day better. he gets the structure there that he needs AND the creativity and emotional support. no one was more surprised than me and i am so grateful.

just a thought, did your child have chronic ear infections? you mentioned the asthma. my son has that too. after much research, and evaluations, we learned he has sensory issues, auditory issues in particular due to the ear infections blocking some developmental stages. occupational therapy was a huge help and lots of reading. let me know if that sounds familiar. either way - good luck, you are a good mom. that's why you're mom alarm is sounding.:)

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Thank you so much for the input. I sent an email to the director and headmaster to let them know I would be pulling him out. The only response I received was thanks for letting them know and they would give another child his spot from the waiting list. So, what does that tell you? It's all about the money and not the kids. I took him to the child psychologist to have him tested for everything and anything. She didn't get all the testing through so i have to take him back this week. She did tell me he was very polite and cooperative with everything. She did not see any behavioral issues. So, she is thinking maybe it is situational behavior. She also wrote down that he was abused by his babysitter. I had I thought a friend watching him and found out that she had been mistreating him such as calling him a baby and making him stay in the back of the house when her kids were up front watching tv. She also hit him so hard in the stomach that it knocked this breath out and now my child says all the she can't find me mommy? I actually had to go through this conversation this morning about how he would never have to see her again. Is it possible that this child could be having problems because of this horrible babysitter? He has had some ear infections but, nothing major. So, I'm hoping this psychologist will at least tell me one way or the other if there is a problem.

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How horrible to hear that a school would support a parent who comes in to spank a child! awful..... I am a mother of 3 boys, each one more different than the other. My older son has ADD but I have never accepted him to miss behave in school. He's a great child and everyone loves him. But I am a very tough mom and do let my kids know that any bad behavior anywhere will have consequences. I don't hit my boys but I have many other ways to get them to respect the family and others. I think children should have fun as long that the fun does not involve disrespect to other or hurt others. Children sometimes acts up when they don't know their limits. That my be just a way for him to say "help me learn the right way please", but they can't say that. I understand that you went trought a lot with him, but don't overlook when he miss behave. Sometimes it's good to be firm because things gets harder when they get older. I am glad you took your son out of that school. Good luck finding a better onel for him. Faty

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How horrible to hear that a school would support a parent who comes in to spank a child! awful..... I am a mother of 3 boys, each one more different than the other. My older son has ADD but I have never accepted him to miss behave in school. He's a great child and everyone loves him. But I am a very tough mom and do let my kids know that any bad behavior anywhere will have consequences. I don't hit my boys but I have many other ways to get them to respect the family and others. I think children should have fun as long that the fun does not involve disrespect to other or hurt others. Children sometimes acts up when they don't know their limits. That my be just a way for him to say "help me learn the right way please", but they can't say that. I understand that you went trought a lot with him, but don't overlook when he miss behave. Sometimes it's good to be firm because things gets harder when they get older. I am glad you took your son out of that school. Good luck finding a better onel for him. Faty

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