Hi again:

Do you typically tell the women whom you are dating that you have ADHD? A crazy idea, but maybe next time you start a serious relationship you just tell her about your challenges and your track record. That way, when she begins to see signs of boredom, she can call you on it and you can try to work through it together... It's risky and maybe makes you more vulnerable, but it's also a potentially good way to move past that one-month barrier when a great girl comes along.

In the meantime, a college dating story you might enjoy...

Good luck!

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I have a friend (with benefits) whose been my friend for 10 years. We both have ADHD. He is the "player". I got so bored I just stopped dating - it's easier. A suggestion though - pace yourself. First off you're 23 you don't have to get married tomorrow. I do understand wanting the closeness of a long term relationship, so If you are seeing the new people several nights a week - cut it out :). Pace yourself - try just the weekends or a weekend night and week night. Don't call everyday - your hyperactive you can find lots of stuff to stay busy in between contact/calls :). Have fun and be safe, of course.

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You didn't mention that you were doing anything as far as addressing your ADD/ADHD regarding treatment, counseling, etc. which would be one of the first things to do. I'm not saying medication per se -- but there are other ways to address it through other means. You said that you couldn't stay interested in someone who didn't have serious issues. I would pose this thought: What is it that you think those women you got "bored" with felt about you and the ADD/ADHD issue that manifests itself? Just curious. You might do some serious work on exploring relationships -- starting with any role model relationships in your life (ie. the relationships you saw prominantly as a child). If they were much like your relationships now, I would say that it has a lot more to do with learned behavior that is accentuated by the ADD/ADHD. If not, then it might be wise to analyze them a little more regarding the person and how the relationship evolved. This is where a good counselor would be a great asset. Getting laid is great.......but if you are looking for a relationship, it's not the first thing that should be there. Part of the problems with relationships is that people think they have to pretend to be something they aren't (which never turns out good because reality ALWAYS comes back) and they have little idea how to communicate or what communication is necessary for a good solid relationship. Having sex almost immediately and then moving in together or seeing each other all day every day is NOT the way to start a good, solid, lasting relationship. I understand that what I suggest is work and doesn't sound all that "cool" -- the difference is I have 11 years in a marriage that is just as fun and exciting and wonderful today as it was the day we met. Sure we have grown and sure we have had our share of ups and downs..........we are best friends, soul mates, partners, lovers, and the yin and yang that fit together. NOT because that's how it was just handed to us -- because we work on it every day. I just wish we would have found each other sooner -- but then we wouldn't have known what we knew so we could have what we have.

So -- learn more about who you are and what your expectations are in a relationship. Learn more about relationships in general -- skills to communicate and cultivate a deep love that will not wither when lust fades away. And finally -- GO SLOW. Rome wasn't built in a day...........a relationship is a living breathing thing. It's not magic and its not always easy. In fact, if it was -- it would really stink. And another thought to ponder: the relationship doesn't end, it is simply shown through the other lives that it has touched. My grandparents may be gone, but there are parts of them in my relationship...................and I pray that someday there are parts of my husband and I in our grandchildrens relationships.

Yes -- it's DEEP. If it's not -- then it's just going to continue to be exactly as you describe. You won't get different results without being the director of your change!

Good luck!

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i am ADD/ADHD and didn't get married until I was in my really late twenties which is really considered quite late in my generation. First take the time and a breather before you burn your self out. The reason you are attracted to women with problems is that they frankly are the high stimulus you need to catch your attention ; but it burns out because this high intensity can get old real quick.List what you like about them and what is the biggest turn off; and my guess it is that they want along term more relationship; and you are frankly can't lkeep that rate up especially something gets your attenttion You need to find some womwen who are just like you into the risk The longest realaionships I was always attracted to the men who were bike riders, enjoy sports , and Believe when you least to suppect it you will find her. Hey if you like to debate you need someone who go back at you It will happen just this isn't the time because you re trying to hard.

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