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Thread : Realizing I Have ADD and Scared Outta My Mind  
6 Nov 2008 @ 11:57 AM
macmicann Join Date: Thu 6th Nov 2008
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Realizing I Have ADD and Scared Outta My Mind

I recently found out that my Daughter is ADD.When they were asking me the questions it was hard for me to even figure out if she had the symptoms because I had so many of them! My daughter has been on medication of about 3 months, she's doing wonderful, I so happy! It almost makes me want to cry when I know that I helped her to live a better life than I did. I have lived my whole life in fear of not being accepted, of being odd. I have always been like this, I thought that it was just the way I am. It never occured to me that there might be an answer.

Within the last few years I've had a second child, I work from home and I cannot keep everything in control. It's been getting worse over the years and I'm having a had time. I plan on starting school next spring and I am so afraid I will fail out because I can't pay attention long enough to keep up.

My BF [of 5 years] is at his breaking point with me. He doesn't understand why I can't just 'get it together'. SO I'm going for testing the day after my 31st birthday, next Tuesday. In a way I'm so excited, I feel like I might finally be able to figure out my life and prove that I am not meant to be a mess that everyone needs to take care of. But I'm also scared outta my mind! I mean it's pretty clear I am ADD, it seems like every single thing fits to me, like I'm reading only about myself.

I guess the point of this long post is I want to know if be diaginoised with ADD and getting on medication, does it really make a difference and turn things around? I know it has for my daughter but does it work on grown ups too?My BF tells me it's highly unlikely that there's going to be a 'magic pill' that'll make me better. So I want to realistic going into this, could this be the 'HOly Grial' for me and finally make my life what I know it can be. Or this this going to be my excuse and I have to spend the rest of my life being a dissapointment to myself and others?

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6 Nov 2008 @ 12:20 PM Reply # 1
Anni Join Date: Thu 25th Oct 2007
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Adult ADD

Dear Macmicann:

Welcome to the ADDitude forums! I only have a minute, but wanted to respond with a quick, "Yes! Things will get better!" If you do get diagnosed with ADD and your doctor can work with you on a treatment plan, that is half the battle. No, things won't turn around overnight. But once you've found a medication that works and made some other lifestyle changes (diet, nutrition, exercise, organization strategies, etc.), you will begin to see real changes.

Here is an article you MUST read: Do You Have Adult ADHD? Why Diagnosis Is Critical

Good luck! Let us know how it turns out.

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6 Nov 2008 @ 12:36 PM Reply # 2
macmicann Join Date: Thu 6th Nov 2008
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thanks

Thanks Anni! I plan on starting school for Personal Training and Nutrition so I know those things will be changing in my life. I can't explain what I'm feeling. I fell excited, anxious and scared all at the same time. I feel like I am on the brink of changing my life, for the good. I'm not a stupid person, I know I have qualities that are positive but they seem to be completly lost in all the negative and disorganization of me. If that makes any sense.

I am glad I found this site and thanks for you response.

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10 Nov 2008 @ 2:56 PM Reply # 3
TexasWoman Join Date: Mon 10th Nov 2008
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Yes, it can make a big difference...

... you need to know, though, that my experience with my own case, and with that of several friends, is this: Initially, it's very exciting and one feels very happy that at last there's a name for the problem and a plan for dealing with it. After a time -- say, a week or a month -- there can be a major low feeling. The reason is that once you start dealing with it and the initial excitement wears off, you feel more aware than ever of how you're getting off track ("there goes that hyperfocus again - I just blew two hours online!" or "sheesh, ya mean I still have to look for my keys every blessed morning even though I'm taking meds??") but you haven't yet gotten on top of the problem. This issue may not be quite as big for you, since you've had your daughter's diagnosis to adjust to and so you've had a chance for a while now to see how the ADD fits in for your own life. OTOH, it might be harder in that you've seen dramatic changes for her, and they may not come as quickly for you. She's younger and has less to unlearn. :) But yes, getting help can make a huge difference for adults as well!

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18 Nov 2008 @ 2:45 PM Reply # 4
2jacks&ajill Join Date: Tue 18th Nov 2008
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How are you doing?

I've come here for more info, too, for me since my two boys have been diagnosed. Like you, I'm thinking about having myself evaluated and possibly medicated. Let us know how it goes!

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18 Nov 2008 @ 3:01 PM Reply # 5
macmicann Join Date: Thu 6th Nov 2008
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Things are getting better

I'm still waiting for my appointment with the Dr, it's early next month. I've been doing other things to help myself through lately though. Basicly I've stopped beating myself up for everything I mess up. Since I tend to mess up a ton it's really helping. I've been listen to books like You Can Heal Your Life and Monster Lies and some titles by Wayne Dyer . I read about him in a different post on here and I have come to LOVE his writings!!!! I highly reccomend anything like this. I think if you have grown up not knowing you were ADD but you always felt a little off it helps to try and heal some the old wounds that came from always being akward or not good enough. I have noticed that just since I have been doing these little things for myself I seem to have better control of my mind and the ADD symptoms that have lead me to feel this lost and scared.

I still plan on going to my appointment. I think doing this AND getting medical help will really get me to a place I want to be.

Good Luck!

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Last edited by macmicann : 18 Nov 2008 @ 3:06 PM. Reason:
25 Nov 2008 @ 5:11 PM Reply # 6
Wander Join Date: Thu 20th Nov 2008
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Diagnosis and Medication are important - but you have work to do

Keep the visit with your doctor and get the right diagnosis. They may prescribe different treatments, but medication is most likely going to be included. Start taking the medication and see how you feel. It will probably have to be adjusted a couple times before you find the right dosage. You will know when it's right. It's hard to describe, but you will know.

Once you are on medication, your problems don't automatically correct themselves. Your BF is right, there is no magic wand and everything will get fixed. Your work begins when you now have the ability to clearly identify the problems and create solutions that work for you and other ADD adults. These are the different coping mechanisms that you will need to overcome the ADD 'goofs' in your life.

For instance, if you continually lose or misplace your keys or cell phone, try always putting them in the exact same place every day. This has worked for me. As soon as I get home from work, I walk into the kitchen, put my purse on the counter, lay out my planner, put my keys in my purse, and lay my cell phone on top of my planner so I can hear it ring. Every day, like clockwork.

Another example, if you forget appointments, get a day planner. Write everything, and I mean everything, in there. Not just appointments, but phone numbers, web addresses with passwords, birthdays, etc. My family has affectionally called my planner the 'bible' (no disrespect intended - I also have Sunday School and church service times in there!). If they need something done, they just write it in there. Don't bother telling me because I'll probably forget, but if it's written down, it gets done. I jokingly say, go ahead and steal my purse, I can replace everything in there, but don't take my planner! :-) And take your planner with you everywhere. You never know when you will need to write something in it. One final note, only have one planner! You can copy things from there to the calendar on the refrigerator or your office calendar, but have one 'master' planner that you're in charge of.

So, get the diagnosis and treatment you need. This forum is a great place to learn from other adults with ADD. Listen to everything, try everything, use what works for you, then share with others.

Keep us posted! Best wishes.

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Last edited by Wander : 25 Nov 2008 @ 5:15 PM. Reason: correct spelling and clairfy a point
8 Dec 2008 @ 2:06 PM Reply # 7
DMcK Join Date: Tue 25th Nov 2008
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congratulations

First off, congratulations for taking steps to take care of yourself and possible ADD. I am in a similar situation: 32 and just diagnosed after years of struggling with work, school and my personal life. While I was scared, I also found my diagnosis to be a HUGE relief. I used to beat myself up for my shortcomings ("failure" was the word I used most often).

Your friend is right, there is no "magic pill". However, stimulant drugs sure do help. And I think realizing that you have ADD/ADHD can help you be more aware of your actions, why you do certain things and ultimately better manage the symptoms.

I also started to look at the glass half full and realized that I have overcome A LOT in spite of not having a proper ADD diagnosis. For example, there is a high number of people with ADD who do not graduate from high school let alone ever complete a college level education. I think that you should be really proud that you're going back to school!

I understand where you're coming from on being scared but think of the relief you'll have once you know and can take the appropriate steps to manage ADD.

Best of luck!

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8 Dec 2008 @ 2:15 PM Reply # 8
DMcK Join Date: Tue 25th Nov 2008
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One more thing...

One more thing... I found that there are a LOT of really good articles on this site. There are also a lot of resources on CHADD sites. Lastly, i read "You mean I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy" by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo and found it to be a helpful (and ADD-friendly) read!

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