Well I went back to court today, things went very well, my lawyer argued that I have come to accept the fact that William is never going to be back in my home, my lawyer argued that all I want is nothing but the best for my son, even if that means him living under some else's roof permanently. My lawyer also argued the fact that I do not wish to have William put up for adoption because I would loose my parental rights, he also argued that I have done nothing to have to give up my parental rights to begin with. My lawyer did inform me that because I am still in a relationship with Jeremy that, that could be the very thing that comes back to bite me in the butt, I made it very clear that I am fine with doing temporary guardianship ( with the woman William is currently with now ( how ever the woman whom has William isn't going to be the permanent care taker ). Leslie of course was there but she has now been released from the case & is no longer involved in the case any more ( which makes me so happy considering the fact that she is the very one that got all of this crap started when ever she called DSS stating that Jeremy was abusive towards William & was sexually molesting him ). I did stand my ground in the fact that I do want to be a part of my son's life & I want to have a relationship with my son, no matter how that plays out but that I am willing to wait until William is ready to start seeing me and having supervised visitations with me- as of right now William has expressed that he does not wish to see me right now, I'm not going to sit here and lie & say that it doesn't hurt the fact that my own son doesn't want to see me but I respect him and I love him enough to just be patient and give it time. As of right now I'm just going to work on getting my assessments completed - I'm not going to push Open adoption unless William expresses himself that, that is what he wants, because in the end all that matters to me that is William is happy, he's grounded in his schooling & is successful in everything he does , because he is such a gifted child, all I want to be a part of his life & have a relationship with him, even it deems that William is the one who makes that decision, so it's up to him . I am going to start writing him letters, trying to reconnect with him & when he's ready he can read them & know of how much I love him & to know that everything I did was out of love & out of the fact that I want nothing for him but the best of life & all of it's opportunities.

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