First of all I love my husband very much and he has been the one constant person in my life. We are in our 30s and we have recently had our daughter - she's 15 months and I have a step son that's 15 years old. In the relationship I am the person with ADD. I make piles in the house that I had made so much effort in organizing and putting away. When we try and make decisions together we can't lately. We can't talk and make decisions. It has been a long time since we have been this way. For some reason it has continued and definitely put a huge wedge between us.

My step son is a great kid, he's easy for a 15 yearold. One thing is that he is aware of how to push my buttons, every kid does this but sometimes my husband is around and his response is more about telling us together to stop. he puts me at the same level as my step son. One argument we have is about making beds. He feels that if our bed isn't made then how can we ask my step son to make his in his chores. The way I was raised was "when you own your own place then you can leave your room messy and bed unmade". I'm at that point in my life, I have waited to be able to leave my bed unmade! My step sons mom has made choices without onsidering my husbands pinion. they had done this in the past and he had gone along with it because it didn't impact him. At this point it's no longer just impacting him it impacts our whole family. But he goes about telling her in a round about way and not a direct one because she will then avoid him for awhile. Please understand that they were never married and the courts have never been involved and things have been good.

When it comes to discussing chores getting done or anything else we argue. I'm not sure if I'm reading him wrong or getting protective of myself. I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of arguing it's not about winning. I want us to be able to talk. Im not sure if something about having ADD if that is part of our issues with communicating. I want to talk and he bottles up. What do I do? Please help!

Plus, my initial doctor that I went for my diagnosis and help afterwards died of a heartattacke so I have not found another doctor to help me. i am looking for one in IL. Anyone have any referrals?

Thank you! Meg

Quote