The reason I ask is because she maybe able to get medicare and have a health aide who can come in for a few hours a day and the idea of having her or him would be able to give you two the so needed break you both deserve.If she is not old enough for any help then you will and I know this is so hard put limits on her. Like I will talk to you everyday but you must do some things like cleaning your home everyday. I am not sure what type of pain she has; but if she is very overweight then she needs to loose weight; and her just walking will help. Do not let her make you feel guilty when you say no to her. I know how hard it could be since I am the oldest and my mom is 79 . If you have sibling they must help ; and not leave you and Jeremey to do it all. I love my mom and it really would be unfair to me and her to let me do it all. I know this is hard to buy ; but some people rather make someone else to do it. And honestly just telling your mother I need time with Jeremey should not have to be said; it seems reasonable your mother should know this . The limits are up to you and Jeremey. You need to get the opportunities to achieve your goals and it is up to you stand up for yourself. If she can't see that then I don't know what you will do. Are you really able to let your realtionship, school and web designing dreams all be squashed. I know you love your mother ; but you need to love yourself and be supported by yourself and Jeremey , and your Mother. Good luck take a deep breathe and do it...

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The idea to get your mom on a government subsidized program for a home health aide is a good one. If she has chronic pain then her doctor should be aware of her physical limitations and if she is on medicaid there are programs that will pay for someone to help you take care of her. And because this is your mother I wanted to let you know that while not all people do their jobs the same I was one of those that truly cared for my patients. I would often bring special surprise or take my clients out to lunch with my own money so that we could all have an enjoyable time. Finding people that will work well with your mother may seem difficult at first she may not like them because she is used to you doing everything for her and most people feel a little guilty about receiving help from someone else but if you stick with the fact that this is the way it is just going to be from now on she will get used to it and most likely become very good friends with her worker who ever it turns out to be. Also from what you were saying about you and Jeremy I would say you are both suffering from burnout it is very common with health care workers and is just your mind and body telling you that a break is necessary for your continued good health. You should look into it more the signs, symptoms, and treatment. Also explaining to your mother that all of this on your shoulders is adversely affecting your health and that it might make it impossible for you to help her at all if you don't have some help may have her being a little less apprehensive about such a change in her life. Plus if you find an aide with a car and are willing to give her or him a bit of gas money I know that they will take her to the store anytime she wants to go. I hope some of this at least has helped you. Good Luck and if you have any questions or want to discuss any of this with me let me know on here and we can get in contact. Oh and your local medicaid office should be able to clue you in on what assistance programs are available and what agencies accept those as payment.

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