I am mom to a ADD/Autistic boy who got diagnosed at 8 years old. I have known from Day One that something was not right with him. He can be a very aggressive boy, so to shield his ADHD/Aspergers brother and myself since we realized his dad would eventually die, I asked for a free will foster family to care for him.

I am talking about a boy who constantly has been an angry baby, toddler and now a teenager whom is kept soley in his place with strict foster parents, rules and consequences. My son has managed to bite me and his brother many times, kick us in the ankles so hard he left huge bruises on his invalid dad and head butted me so I almost fell down a set of steps with him in my arms. My son has kicked our pets, and terrorized the goats and sheep at the farm kindergarten we sent both boys too. My son has managed to inflict a huge open sore from kicking his leg through a window and fell down from a tree breaking his leg badly.

I understand his frustrations, but it is hard to have a one way conversation when he switches off in angry mode. We can now talk when he wishes to, but he is not flexible like his big brother, so I use hard love on him too. (rules and consequences)

My oldest son keeps telling me, mom we have to watch him when he gets older. He is really angry with them, I have taken my oldest sons words really seriously and phoned my foster family. I asked the mother in the future to have her husband around when really unpopular stuff is drifted for her safely. My son has also been in human hormone treatments because his bones and teeth are not developing as they should. Appearance are very covered up. He will be 1 meter 80 cms when finished growing, and with the muscles he has now will be dangerous. So I sit here, hoping for the best and am dreading more bad news... I think if people don't take me seriously they will get hurt... Sometimes even when my two ADHD'er try to talk he stops just before the oldest gets all the info. Scary, he feel betrayed by me sending him into a foster family but I had to to keep my love for him in tact, he was wrecking our every day life and we would drop in bed totally stuff at the end of non stop row of bad years... If I could have avoided this decision I would, but I had to think about my husband's deteriorating condition and the need to be alone and come to terms with his coming death and then the chaos of losing our home without also having to deal with him 24-7-365.. Every time my husband dialysis machine beeped, my youngest was up, this could happen 1 am , 3 am 5 am day in and out. I was a walking zombie on Efexor... I gained 176lbs in weight as a remember of my own anxiety attacks. Social services called me a bad mother, but whom wouldn't be with the conditions I lived under and then have to go to work to make ends meet... Since he has been in a foster family I have lost my huge weight from efexor and train my frustrations out, that endless motor I have is great for getting stuff done.

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