Hi Poochie:

Forgive me as a project a little of my own experience into this reply... no offense intended if this description doesn't reflect your situation. Is it possible that your husband has been working hard the last 6 years to fill in some of the gaps that crop up when a spouse has ADHD? For example, keeping the bills organized and paid? Planning vacations? Getting the family to places on time? And could it be that, now that you've been diagnosed, he sees a light at the end of the tunnel? A day when he can lighten the load of his own responsibilities a bit? If so, he's probably got his hopes way up that with medication and counseling you'll be able to change your behaviors totally. Of course, this is not always a realistic assumption - or a necessarily healthy one. But his criticism of you could be stemming from his own frustration that things are not changing fast enough - when maybe, in fact, they are.

I'm not sure whether any of that made sense. But my bottom line advice would be to make a pointed effort to communicate with your husband about the progress you see yourself making, your goals for further ADHD treatment, and some realistic expectations. Also hear him out as he voices his major frustrations and see where you can find some compromise and middle ground. Most important is probably that he knows you're working on treatment and that you understand what that means to him.

Here is a great ADDitude article that might help with these future conversations...

Married to ADHD: Relationship Advice for You and Your Attention Deficit Spouse

I hope that helps!

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