I stumbled upon this forum and website thankfully. I was on a mission this evening to find some sort of answers to the questions I had. After reading, I am sure you have all been there: what am I doing wrong?, why can he not listen?, why is it another bad day? etc...

My name is Christina and I am a mother. I am a mother of a 14 yo girl (that's a whole separate thing lol), 16 month old girl... and my son 8yo. My son Brandon has ADHD & ODD. He has had this since birth... how you ask? We knew the moment we brought him home that something was different and was not "alright". He never slept, would constantly scream (which we were convinced was colic - not hardly) and I was a walking zombie the first year of his life. Needless to say, we probably weren't the most put together parents at this time considering the lack of sleep and stress. This continued throughout his young toddler life - tantrums (excessive), screaming, yelling, throwing, hitting, biting etc... At the age of 4, he was in daycare and stabbed a kid with a fork (plastic thank god) for taking his donut (shouldn't have touched his food I guess) and we decided there is something that needs to happen.

Our normal doctor referred him to this clinic. The doctor there spent 30 minutes with me and my son and immediately diagnosed him bipolar at the age of 4. I went home with my head hung low thinking "what on earth am I going to do now" and immediately began hitting the internet looking for ways to battle this disorder. After a couple of months, I took him back to his regular doctor and she asked how he was doing and what they said. I told her they diagnosed him bipolar and she about threw the clipboard. She looked up at me and said he is NOT bipolar and that is the most ridiculous thing she has heard. She immediately made another referral to the children's hospital development center. Of course, it was busy and took us a couple months to get in there.. but boy am I glad we did.

Our first appointment was 3 hours long. There were three doctors in the room: psychologist, psychiatrist and a behavioral therapist all sitting in the room with us. One was talking to me, one was talking to my husband and the other one was watching my son and interacting with him. After the initial meeting and the letters from his teachers, their opinion was he as ADHD & ODD. They explained each one to me and told me "it will be alright - we will work together to help him". The medication really didn't bother me as it was helping him (to a point) but of course not perfect. He does say that it is the only thing that makes him feel "normal".. which is sad in itself.

He is on Adderall - 1 30mg capsule daily.

My husband and I are on a desperate search to find help not just for him but for us as well. He has gotten better over the years but we are getting to that fed up mode and I don't want to be there. He never wants to do homework, he always forgets his homework, he lies constantly, he got in a fight today at school, he doesn't want to read, he doesn't want to do his chores, he doesn't care if something is wrong he does it anyway (and yes he knows because he will look straight at me and do it anyway) and the list goes on and on.

I worry about him alot - he always has circles under his eyes and is skinny (weighs 49lbs at 8) but he still eats for the most part. It takes him forever to eat and it is almost like he is addicted to TV and we TRY extremely hard to keep it off until the kids are in bed. He was allowed to play on the playstation if he completed all his work and behaved but I have now cut that out during the week and he will have to earn it over the weekend in short spurts.

We aren't perfect parents by any means. It was pretty hectic here for over a year which has now changed so we are trying to figure out a course of action. I am putting a schedule on the fridge for him to follow and he can check off each one as he does them. We are making a list of rules and consequences for not following them so that we can force ourselves to "stick to it" (we have an issue with that). I also am trying extremely hard to tell him when he does something good and by saying thank you I appreciate it - all the time.

I know he is overwhelmed and so are we - I just don't know what else to do and I have been crying all night. I went and laid down by him and just told him "I'm sorry" over and over (he was asleep).

I am lost.... any advice??

Sincerely, Christina

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