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Children showing signs
Here a little story I hope will make people serious aware of getting help fast. My youngest son was very radical from day one he was born. He was a screamer until he was around 3 years old.. When we got in into kindergarden, the teachers thought I was mistreating him, so got social services to visit us.. I asked for help to stop this behaviour, they just wanted to take my son away as didn't understand the signs of chaos around my son and his ADD/Autism.... We are talking about a baby whom when is confused would bite me on the wrist so hard I had bloody teeth marks and his brother he latched on to his waist and make him scream too.. My son didn't understand the words play together so smashed everything his big brother had that was he to play with, he didn't feel cold so refused to have winter clothing on when going outside and usually wore too much in summer, and he would kick the goats and sheep at his farm kindergarden..
I got tired of the social services people not listening to this radical behaviour and between them and my sons aggressive flip outs 3-5 tims a day went to my GP... It was a great day to take him, as he fought, hit me, kicked me and tried to even bite the doctor.. He told me to relax, I was totally right to come to him and should have done it sooner. I told him I didn't think anyone would believe me. He wrote a very decribing letter to the largest child and teenage mental hospital we have in denmark and we quickly got a appointment..
The hospital had to get a court order to make social services turn up to the meeting, as they had gotten the okay from their boss to take my son... Two very red faced social services workers got the hugest verbal telling off of their lifes.. The doctor said it so nicely, try sitting on the school bench and learning what normal and unnormal child behaviour is.
My youngest son is non medication treatable because he doesn't have HD. He has AD full out and has been a very extreme boy whom will only come to us on his terms. If I tried to talk to him about something he does wrong, bang he will either hit me or switch off and not talk for hours or be reachable... He was put in a special 24 home 6 months to watch his behaviour deficit and found out how we could avoid the agression møde just kicking in.. He had two specially trained teachers on his back around the clock in waking hours.. His ability to learn stuff was poor, he couldn't hold a pencil, he couldn't ride a ordinary 2 wheeled bike until he was 8 years old and they taught him to skateboard too..
I did however ask Social Services to find a foster family whom had the qualifications to teach him mastering skills. He has to learn these from strict hard and content every day life learning. He has more rules than most kids, if he does something wrong he only gets one warning, if we threaten to take his computer for a month, a month is a month and no begging or pleading will return it.. He is a little king and if we slip and allow him to get his way will be uncontrolable.. He is now shaping into a wonderful boy, whom now will tell me if he needs time alone and can now return to me telling me he is good again and will try to put words on what is bugging him now he is thirteen..
Sometimes the problems are not about me or his big brother (his dad pasted away) but he makes us feel miserable if we don't see the signs something is wrong.. It is hard as mom to have a boy you can never confront totally, it is like a one way communication...
Not having DH he is doing great in school, can 3 languages (we speak danish) but he can english and german all three writing it and reading it.. He is also sharp at maths... Despite how bad his behaviour deficit is he will get better and better with age.. My only job now when we see in the weekends and holidays is to back my foster family up 100% (they have total rights to punish him, so he doesn't do splitting on us and make us enermies) I support the behaviour modifications techniques.. I was really lucky to be offered this family, as their children go to the same school as my son, the dad is a psychotherapist and can has really opened my son up to being normal.. The past nightmares seem like a bad dream... Life is good now, I just have to get my quiet ADHD/Asperges boy sorted out... This is the one that really hurt me, my oldest 15 years old was doing really bad in school efter we had to move from his childhood home when his dad died... I thought he had a depression, so we again went to the hospital and our new doctor made a appearance to help me.. The head doctor was put on my sons case and social services immediately sent another type of social service helper to find out whom needed to be a future meetings. I now have a social service worker whom works with special needs children, so things are looking up.
It has been a hard time dealing with the grief of having a radical son, putting him into care so he didn't hurt his invalid dad and grief over lossing them both.. I got negative so much negative attitude I almost took my own life, so was on Efexor for aniexty a whole year... I hope social services educate their workers better in the future... I feel like their system in denmark destroyed my family in a most evil way..
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Last edited by Rena1965 : 6 Oct 2008 @ 11:42 PM.
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