It saddens me to hear that such a small incident causes so much hurt. My daughter spent a lot of time in the office for things that I knew she couldn't control. My daughter was considered a bully and the kids were afraid of her. I remember looking into her eyes and thinking how can she be behaving that way when I know deep inside that she was wonderful. I spent one of her detentions in the office with her as the principal, secretary and others looked in dismay. The principal told me that I wasn't teaching her anything and that she needed discipline. What my daughter needed was me to love her and get her through this. Last year my daughter received a memorial award for the 'Love of Reading and Citizenship'. The best advice I ever received was a simple comment; 'Just love your kids.' Let your son know that what he did wasn't wrong, that he isn't bad and you love him. You tell the teacher that he will NOT be disciplined for losing his homework. You are the parent and YOU decide what is best for your son. Unless the teacher or principal or whoever has been through what you have been through they do not know what you are dealing with.

Good luck from someone who has been there.

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Hi, I’m a 43 year old who had the very same experience when I was 9. My condition was accompanied by a facial tic that caused me to blink and make a gulping noise all the time. It was like having the hiccups that would not go away. My teacher had me stand at the front of the class room every morning for months and told my class mates how stupid I was for making this sound. I guess she thought she was going to humiliate the problem out of me. Teachers, Principals, and school boards are going to do what they do and sometimes they don’t cooperate but that doesn’t leave you or your child hopeless. Your son needs to know that his Mom is convinced that he is a good boy and that you can see valuable, unique gifts in him and when an authority figure mistakenly believes he is doing something wrong on purpose his parents know the truth. I would encourage you to continue to do all the practical things you are doing with dealing with the school, testing, medicines, etc. but don’t make any of them the foundation of your hope. I am a person of faith so forgive me if I go biblical on you but I survived this condition only with the ‘peace that surpasses all understanding’. That is when the anxiety of failure was dominating me I could retreat to the foundation of my hope. Phil 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

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Thank you for your kind words and advice. My sweet son is doing better. My husband and I did not send him back to that school. I had our Doctor write a letter stating that until he is tested at the University of Louisville learning disorder center he will be homeschooled to prevent further harrassment of Corey. With the protection of 504 any school he attends could lose federal funds if they do not accomadate his needs which mainly are social and organizational. Corey is very intelligent, he absorbs knowledge if someone explains it to him. I tell him that he is unique and smart and that it is the unique people who leave their mark on the world-Einstein, Mozart, Picasso. He is happy working with his father , I am recovering from spine surgery, and when I am able, I will teach him as well. The hope I was losing was in humankind and your posts remind me that good people are in this world-they just don't stick out as much as the bad ones do. What happened to Corey is being investigated and hopefully this will not be done to another child.

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Don't loose hope! Work on building your son's self-esteem, praise him and focus on his strenghts, and try to put his detention into perspective for him. It will really not make much difference down the line in his educational experience. Begin to document everything that happens with the school. Send them e-mails re: requests for tests, services, document problems and any solutions that they offer & whether or not they are effective, even thank you's and restate events. Create a paper trail. This will be your proof that what you say happened really did happen. The school should have done an MFE to test strenghts & weaknesses. Learn how to read these results. If you believe there is something else going on with your son, indicate your beliefs and your request in writing. The IEP is a legal document, it has to be followed. Make sure the goals are measurable and age appropriate. If you do not believe it is being followed document this in writing & ask for proof to ease any concerns. ADHD is a disability, if your child is being punished for a documented disability then that is discrimination! Try to work with the principal and the special ed teacher but continue to document everything. Get in contact with your states Legal Rights Society, they will give advice over the phone & guide you in the right direction. The dept of education Office of Eceptional Children also has materials & resources that are helpful in understanding your rights. You have the right to mediation hearings to help resolve the problem with the school & they can help with this process as well. Your last resort is finally the US Dept of Edu., Office of Civil Rights. Make sure you have sufficient documentation, this agency has the authority to withhold state funding from the school if they do not comply, the school will have to provide their own documentation as well, and their staff will generally stick together. If the school can't provide FAPE you may be able to send your son to a private school at their expense. (depending on your situation & how bad things are) Good luck! It is a long and frustrating road, but if the school and the teacher is not willing to work with you, find someone who is.

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