Hi there:

IMHO, you did exactly the right thing by having your son evaluated for and diagnosed with ADHD. Would you feel differently if you suspected that your son had diabetes and, even though his father objected, you had him diagnosed and discovered that you were right?! It's really the same thing - your son has a medical condition that can be managed with medication and/or diet, exercise, nutrition, behavior therapy, etc. It's your responsibility as a parent to help him do that and to succeed at school and in life! You don't need his father's permission to be a good parent!

That being said, there are some alternative (non-drug) treatments for ADHD you can try first.

These don't require a prescription and are often the first line of defense for young children diagnosed with ADHD.

Check out ADDitude's free booklet about Alternative ADHD Treatments, which includes information about omega-3 fatty acids, behavior therapy, green time, and more non-medical ways to manage your son's ADHD. This may give you some ideas for risk-free solutions that both you and your son's father can get behind.

I would also suggest reading our Back to School Guide for Children with ADHD, which contains information about improving classroom behavior.

I hope this helps!

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Does the father know exactly how much "extra" time you are having to spend at the school, etc because of your child's behaviour? Even though he lives 5 hours away, mabey you could talk to the teacher and explain that the father is having resistance to the child being treated. Tell her that from now on when there is a problem, for her to call him first and explain the situation. She may have to end up calling you to come "deal with it" since you are closer, but at least he will know it's real, you aren't making it up or exaggerating. Plus, he can't deny it once the teacher has talked to him. I don't know of your relationship with your ex, but I know lots of time ex's can be resentful, and if he is that way, he may not want him diagnosed/treated simply because you do want him diagnosed/treated. So, this is where the teacher calling him could also help. Anytime your child is in trouble, and a note is sent home, etc...have them send a copy to your ex as well. In my opinion, men, as a rule, are more resistant to this type of thing than moms (my husband was), and I think it is because we are the ones dealing with all the issues and they don't understand the full extent of the problem. Your ex needs to understand the full extent, then he may be open to your son being treated once he sees that there is a problem. Also, there are natural remedies, like the other post stated, that you may want to try. My son has never been on them, I am not opposed to them, and infact it may be something we do in the future...we just haven't tried any as of yet . Good luck with that, just keep fighting, becuause if your child is ADHD he needs the help...

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Your husband may not have physical custody but if he has 50% legal custody, which is most common in divorses today,beware....Keep all records you are given and ask for copies of all documents that any professional has regarding his ADHD and any other mental health issue. This may become nessary if he decides at a later day to stop any or all treatment you have started, he has the legal right to do so.....I have been in a legal battle for over a year over just this same thing. I wish I would have asked every teacher and health care professional for these records because they are so hard to come by after the fact, and also they just somehow disappear when you say you having to go to court. My school who has been supportive for 6 yrs with diagnoses and treatment is now turning the other direction and stating they just aren't sure...So please be dilengent about record keeping and get everything in writing from everyone.

P.S. We had to start the 7th grade with no meds. And the only ones it seems to be hurting is the child and primary caregiver(myself). Dad is nowhere around when its trouble at school or with homework. He only weeekend parents and plays no other part in sons life. Very sad and frustrating. Court is not helping either.

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Be Very careful when dealing with Ex's. My son's second grade teacher recommended at the parent teacher conference of which my ex was present that he should be tested. We proceeded with the testing and the school did not state the facts about the diagnosis.

Since that time my son has been retested and on medications for almost three years. His father recently brought me to court on contempt charges indicating that I was treating him without his knowledge of his son being diagnosed with ADHD. This was after we discussed the school's findings, tried alternative treatments (Feinglod diet, Vision therapy, as well as many other Alternative therapies all of which he was a part of). When My son was rediagnosed and medication was perscribed he did not administer the medications on his weekends (The medication was given to him to be administered but he refused to give it to my son). Two years later he filed for contempt.

Keep all of your papers, school notes, Teacher correspondances, dr visits and copy your ex on everything. Send everything certified. Even if he does not agree if there is a court battle you have the documentation to prove that your child was properly diagnosed and is being properly treated.

Good luck

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