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18 Aug 2008 @ 12:54 PM
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| Gina Parris |
Join Date:
Mon 18th Aug 2008
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How to Respond to ADHD Comments
Hi-- I was diagnosed with the inattentive type of ADHD less than a year ago. Interestingly, I never realized I had this until I had been working with students with disabilities for about 4 years! I have gone through the battery of tests and received the official diagnosis from the psychologist I saw. I am hoping that some of you have had experiences similar to the ones I'm about to relate and can give me some pointers on a few things. One of my issues is of course with working memory, which is atrocious! When I mention something about forgetting things to friends who are older than I, I get the classic comments-- "you're too young to have problems remembering things" or "just wait until you are MY age". I'd kind of like to comment back to them (not in an ugly way... I am a Southern girl!) just to let them know that this is a real disorder that age has nothing to do with. Any suggestions? Also... I am involved with some activites with my church, and in the past couple of years, one of them became too stressful for me to manage and keep up with it. Of course I had no idea at the time that the stress I was experiencing came from my ADHD issues. I gave this job up. I would still like to back away from some things that I am a part of (or a leader with), but find it hard to do it. I don't want to use my ADHD as an excuse, and as those of us with the condition know, it is not very well understood by the general population. Currently, I teach a mission group and Sunday School class, and coordinate our Praise Team group as well. I am getting that old overwhelmed, can't-keep-up, letting people down feeling. Suggestions? Thanks for listening! Gina |
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18 Aug 2008 @ 1:42 PM
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| Anni |
Join Date:
Thu 25th Oct 2007
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ADHD Resources
Hi Gina: Welcome to the ADDitude discussion boards! ADDitude has a great free printable that I think you'll really like: Snappy Comebacks to ADHD Doubters! Also, September is ADHD Awareness Month, so we've created an online guide all about ADHD symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment so that ADHD adults can share the truth with their friends and family. Finally, those feelings you describe of being overwhelmed, stressed, overbooked and on the edge are very common in adults with ADHD. One of the most popular resources among our users is a book titled Crazy Busy by Dr. Ned Hallowell. It's written specifically for people like you and I would recommend checking it out. Good luck! |
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27 Aug 2008 @ 5:36 PM
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| Jesskel830 |
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Wed 27th Aug 2008
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Re: How to respond to ADHD Comments
Hi Gina! I've found it best to just shake it off when people, especially my elders, make comments like you mentioned. Most of the time, they don't know your situation, and don't mean any harm and there is no use making them feel horrible about it. I'm a southern girl myself... just smile and go on. Now, if someone having full knowledge of my ADHD, makes a comment that offends me, I give myself full permission to be a smartie right back at them....but I always keep that smile on my face. (Think Steel Magnolias or Scarlet O'hara).
And as for becoming overwhelmed, I know exactly how you are feeling. My suggestion: Weigh out the pros and cons. So you like everything you are doing.... does the satisfaction you get from being involved in so many things outweigh the stress these things are putting on you? I've also realized that when I'm stressed I take it out on the people closest to me who don't deserve it. I always try to keep that in mind as well. Personally, I'd rather take on what I can handle, and use my gifts (one of them being ADHD) to blow those things out of the water! There are plenty of other people out there to pick up where you've left off.... Who knows, maybe by giving up some of the responsibility, you might help someone else realize their dreams and gifts, ultimately helping them become the person they were meant to be. No one, ADHD or not, will benefit from having too much on their plate. Never be afraid to say no, or to let go. Don't let ADHD own you. I know its hard. I host my fair share of pity parties. But its the card we've been dealt. Lets make the best of it! |
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2 Sep 2008 @ 4:37 PM
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| bas_ackward |
Join Date:
Wed 27th Aug 2008
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Seek the aid of others--"Many hands make light work"
Perhaps recruit other members to assist you so you can delegate some of the responsibilities. I realize it may not be as easy to do as to say, but even Moses had to learn to delegate some of his responsibilities because he was becoming overwhelmed by it. So don't beat yourself up over it. Your desire is for the benefit of your church, and the more the responsibilities are spread around, the lighter the load, and the more the church benefits. Find out if there are others that would be interested in helping. There may well be someone who is looking for some way to contribute, but is waiting to be asked. Enlist your pastor's aid in finding additional helpers. |
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