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consistency will pay off - eventually
In my opinion, structure, predictability, consistency are absolutely the best things to provide for your boyfriend's daughter. But be patient - you won't see results immediately. As a matter of fact, you may not get any proof that you're doing the right thing for a year or two, until one day out of the blue, the girl announces that she wants to be with the two of you more and with her own Mom less (assuming, that is, that the Mom is not providing the same structure at her end). His daughter might not even understand or recognize why she feels better at your place, she'll just know that she's a bit happier there, a bit more relaxed, or less stressed. I give you credit for accepting the fact that your boyfriend is a package deal - that you are not dating just him, but his whole family too. Even if things don't work out and down the road you each go your separate ways, you will have laid the foundation for the girls to start recognizing that their surroundings do contribute to their actions and behaviours. As far as their Mother is concerned, you have absolutely no control over that part of their lives (at least, not this early in the relationship) so don't even bother trying. Stay focused on those times when you are with them and have some level of control over the surroundings. Good Luck - you've makde a great start.
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Last edited by Lorelei : 19 Aug 2008 @ 12:07 AM.
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12 Aug 2008 @ 11:42 AM
19 Aug 2008 @ 12:07 AM