Hi Heather:

Welcome to the ADDitude forums. The anxiety you described is totally normal and almost expected in any parent who can see challenges looming ahead for their child and feels somewhat powerless to help. There are lots and lots of moms (and dads) in your shoes right now across the country.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things as far as special-ed services go. A few suggestions to start off the year right:

1. Write a letter introducing your son to his new teachers before the school year begins:

2. Set up an organization plan for your son that will help him keep books, homework, papers, etc. manageable.

3. Take stock of his IEP and make adjustments before school begins.

4. Find a parent support group where you can voice your fears and frustrations about ADHD: http://directory.additudemag.com/results.php?category_id=122

Sometimes, just getting organized can help you feel like you've exerted some control over the situation, which might reduce your back-to-school anxiety. If you want to make sure that absolutely all your bases are covered, I would suggest the new ADDitude 'ADHD at School' eBook, which contains 99 pages of expert information and tips for parents.

I hope this helps!

Quote

Thanks Anni for the excellent advice and links. It is about control: feeling out of control and taking small steps to empower my son and me. I am going to write an introduction letter and look into joining a support group. It would be nice to get together with other kids (and their parents) who are quirky and I might not feel so edgy, you know?

I read an article on this website about Michael Phelps and that he was diagnosed ADHD at 9. His mother said a teacher claimed he would never be able to focus. I was so encouraged, and I shared it with my son. I know there's light at the end of this tunnel somewhere!

Quote

The anxiety you experience is and has been mine for every school year we've experienced. My oldest is a senior this year, the middle one going into high school and the youngest is in 6th grade. I agree that anxiety is all about our issues of control, what we can and cannot influence for our kids. And so taking charge of even one or two things is big stress reliever. I would like to point out that my son also repeated his words to himself at that age (which was very disconcerting) but later we determined that he has an auditory processing disorder. Not to put anything elso on your plate, but is worth a look into if only for understanding. We are currently trying an at -home program for that. Also you might look into a multi-sensory language instruction reading program for him, such as Orton Gillingham or Wilson. It works very well for kids who learn differently. It is endorsed by the International Dyslexia Association and they are a huge resource for people like us. My kids have not had it easy but their struggles have created in them character and empathy for others, especially for the underdog. I think that is a good thing to give to the world!

Quote

I will definately look into Orton Gillingham and Wilson learning programs. It's looking to be a rocky year. My son is telling me now that he doesn't want to take his ADHD med, Strattera, this school year (we took the summer off). It's such a quandry because the med really helped him succeed more last year, but the side effects are rough. He loses his appetite and acts somewhat depressed. The summer has been amazing: he's happy, energetic, creative, and eating like a horse. He probably grew 2 inches or more. I feel like I have to trade his happiness for success. Unfortunately because of a family history of tic's we can't consider the stimulant meds so switching isn't an option.

The other stressor is we have decided to let him ride the bus to school. He rode it for the first 6 months of kindergarten but was teased and bullied by a group of older kids. Still, I know if he acts as eccentrically on the bus as I see him act sometimes, he will get eaten alive. He has to learn to conform and he's maturing, but I don't know if we're making the right decision. If only I had a crystal ball! Thanks for listening. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Heather

Quote

Every year I have difficulty with back to school. For me I believe it is the back to structure that I have difficulty with. During the summer, I am a stay at home mom, the majority of the we do not have much of a "schedule". My son is now 17 & a senior in high school. My husband and I decided long ago to not give him "medication vacations". We believe that family time in some ways is more important than school. Our son has never chosen to have a break. He feels better being on the medication and is now old enough to make that decision. In no way has he had any form of drug or alcohol abuse. He is an elite athlete and chooses not too. Also, I am not naive when it come to "extra curricular activities" in teens. My son is my third of four kids. So I have been thru a few teen years. One, give yourself a break & do not be too hard on yourself. Try to get your child to help you stay on track. Also, you may want to consider having him stay on meds. Talk to others regarding about this. Good luck! deyette5

Quote

Consider changing your children's diet and even your husband may find himself willing to make some changes after he sees the results in your children. My son is doing great since I took away sodas and food dyes and added a vitamen designed just for symptoms that children and adults with ADHD face. Here is the site for vitamens they have a 100% quarentee I love them/I take them too..helps me stay peaceful: help4adhd.tyh.us

Quote