HI, I'M ALMOST 30, & I HAVE, ADHD, ASPERGERS, & DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES. IT SEEMS TO ME TO THAT MY MOM WANTS TO CHANGE ME TO. I'VE COME A LONG WAY OVER THE YEARS, BUT HAVE STUGGLES IN SOME AREAS. OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND ME A LOT, HAVE SEEN A CHANGE IN HOW WELL I'VE GROWN, BUT MY MOM DOESN'T THINK SO.

Quote

MY MOM HAD ALSO WANTED TO FIX ME. oN MY 40TH SHE TOLD MY BROTHERS "i GIVE UP" i LOVE HER ; BUT i WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HER" those words changed our relationship for the better. I really hope your mother see you are really a special person and that you are doing fine. It really doesn't matter if you don't see the punch line always or at times you are too blunt. At times it is really refreshing when you are blunt because everyone I am sure everyone was thinking it just too afraid to say it. I remeber how many times I did the same thing ; and always felt like I was making a mistake ; but someone always came up to me and say it made them feel relieved. Don't ever feel bad about who you are; and tell mom try to accept it just stop trying to fix you. It is said when we feel guilty about something we tend to place it on others what is she fearful of that she isn't perfect. Try looking at it without judgement it may help fi x her instead.

Quote

HI, THANK YOU FOR THE REPLY. WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO CALL ME SOMETIME? I WOULD LIKE TO TALK. SINCE YOU HAVE SOMEWHAT GONE THREW SOME OF THE THINGS, THAT I'M GOING THREW NOW, I HAVE A COUPLE QUESTIONS, THAT I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU.

YOU CAN CALL ME, ON MY CELL PHONE, AT 952-212-8670. OTHERWISE DO YOU HAVE A # THAT I COULD CALL YOU AT, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CALL ME? HAVE A GOOD DAY, TAKE CARE.

Quote

I wish that were the case in my situation, but it's not. I have had ADD for the past seven years and my parents thought to conveniently tell me that I have ADD and Fetal alchohol syndrom when I was 27 and about to get married to who I thought I would be married to for life. Instead of helping me they made my life miserable and now it explains why I always felt out of place in social situations. It's very difficult for me to make and keep friends and the CPS worker that I have been working with thinks it's best if I try to find an accountability partner other than my current husband. Yeah I won't find one in this town. It seems that every one can't be bothered to deal with my ADD or better yet spend the time to be my friend and listen to me. I spend 24/7 at home with my kids and then my husband wonders why I am a wreck at the end of the night. The only good thing is that I am now out of the house for 5 hours away from kids and can make some money, but what good is it if you don't have friends close enough to have a "girls" night out? I am praying that God will open some doors cause if nothing changes I feel like I am gonna jump out of a window. Although I must say that my husband seems to be really supportive in my treatment, but he wants me to quit my job due to financial reasons if I do that then you might as well take away my way of escape to the real world. Any one have any suggestions how to cope.

Quote

I’m 29 years old and was diagnosed when I was 17 years old as a senior in High School. My Mother has had a hard time understanding it all and still wants to try to make me better. It’s so difficult for me to explain my brain and how I function to her. I moved back in with my parents a year ago while my mother was going through a bi lateral knee replacement. She was then hit with a colon cancer diagnosis and chemo treatments for the majority of this year. It’s difficult to live with her “constructive” criticism, and her constant need to tell me that I need to go “talk” to someone about everything. I think she is actually the one that needs to talk to someone about it, because it is mainly things that bug her, not me. I know your mother is just being a “mom” and she wants you to not hurt, and feel the pain that being “different” may cause. What persons of that generation though, it is hard for them to understand that it is different out there in the world today. People are more accepting of these types of disorders. She just wants to protect you… :-) Before all of the problems with my mother’s health came around, I used to get so upset with her when she’d say things like she does…. Now, I’d rather have her trying to overstep her motherly bounds and annoy the mess out of me, than not have her at all. The best way to get my mother to somewhat understand what life is like for someone with ADD is for her to make a phone call to someone, and take notes of that phone call, and then have me talking right next to her for someone else. Then throw a couple of random channel changes on the tv, a radio turned on, and a beach ball thrown around. When she hung up the phone (BTW.. the person on the other end knew ahead of time what we were doing), I asked her what her conversation was about, and if she can remember the main point of their conversation….. She didn’t. I told her that is a little what it is like to have ADD all day every day. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. She got the point that I was trying to make, but it never once stopped her from trying to protect me and fix my ailments.

Good Luck with everything! I’m proud that my brain is different! Having ADD is a portion of who I am.. It is not all of who I am.

Quote

I'm the guilty Mom who loves (but is always trying to "fix) my daughter and her situation with her ADHD and ADD children... she is ADD, too. I go against my better judgement all the time because it is just so hard to sit back and watch someone you love "make mistakes" in her life and that of her children. So, hopefully you've opened my eyes to something I've known all along... Just continue to love and accept her for who she is and BUTT OUT! I'm not sure I'll be able to do it, but I'll give it the 'ole college try!

A mother who loves her grown children and all her grandkids to pieces

Quote