... try only going to places where he can do what he does. The park or beach? Going to a restaurant or movie is a recipe for disaster. Maybe restrict where they can go in your house and certainly be very clear on your house rules which must be obeyed. ADD kids (and adults!) do not see subtlety so you need to say it in words of one syllable and preferably have it in images on a chart. Your son obviously does not mind his behaviour so maybe the only option is to limit the interactions that drive you mad. Your son will get more and other friends when he goes to school so it will get better over time.

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The idea of introducing and enforcing house rules is a good one. You could sit down both the boys and explain that you'll be enforcing a new, strict set of rules. If they follow them, they can earn tokens redeemable for a reward (ice cream or extra time of video games, etc.). If they don't follow them, the play date will be cut short. This is entirely reasonable and a good way to start using behavior therapy to control the ADHD a bit.

Also, you said you're not comfortable raising the ADHD question, but could you respond to the mom's comment with some facts you just happened to find online? According to An ADHD Diagnosis for Preschool Children, parents should take their preschooler to a pediatrician or a child psychiatrist. Diagnosis of ADHD should involve a thorough medical and developmental history, observation of social and emotional circumstances at home, and feedback from teachers and health professionals who have contact with the child. In many cases, neuropsychological testing may be needed to rule out conditions whose symptoms might overlap with ADHD, including anxiety disorder, language-processing disorders, oppositional-defiant disorders, and sensory integration problems.

And it's worth noting that treatment doesn't have to involve medication, if that's a concern... there are plenty of alternative ADHD treatments with great track records.

I hope that helps.

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