Hi Apple3:

Welcome to the ADDitude forums. My heart goes out to you in this challenging situation. While it's definitely true that consistent routines are important for ADHD kids, I don't personally believe that consistency is more important than quality time with both parents. As you said, if the same schedule is maintained at both parents' houses then the negative impact of changing venues should be pretty much mitigated. It might mean tinkering with things for a while, but I'm sure you'll come up with a routine that works for everyone. Hopefully, your ex will see how much quality time with both parents means to your son's well being, and make some concessions.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/707.html

Good luck!

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ADD or no ADD, if both parents want to be with the child, both should have a role in his life. He will be stronger for it and benefit from the strengths of both parents. Of course this can happen !!!!! My step son was diagnosed early June this year with a high secondary score for ODD. So much makes sense now !!!! He is on medication and loving school !!! My husband and his ex share custody jointly, one week at each house. They were separed long before he was diagnosed so much of the stuff you need to sort out in any separation had already occurred. My advice is FIGHT!!!! fight for your son,,,,too many fathers who want to be a large part of their kids lives are shut out, intentionally or otherwise. My husband had to force his son's kindergarten teacher to make eye contact with him during parent teacher interviews, she focused only on Mom and totally ignored him,,,, let me tell you ,,,,,,that changed right away..... As for your ex , well there are dynamics already in play which lead you to not be together,,,,, I think as long as you put the kids first everything else will fall into place,,,,,,,

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