I have read your comments and I felt you were talking about my son. He is 12 and was diagnosed since he was 7. Whan he was younger, we did not imagine the road we were about to follow.......... Some behavior made us wonder ....what was going on, school reports and grades........the crying, the interrupting and impulsivity.....All those aspects were translated to an ADD attentive. We use the same type of chores/chart you describe, and it has worked really good. We make sure since the day before, he knows very clearly what he is supposed to do and we do not care at what time, but everything has to be completed well by 4 pm when my husband return from work. Summer vacation is unbealivable longggggggggggggg and to find 24 hrs activities for a 12 years old becames a challenge!!! He does not want either to go outside........ he worked really hard all the school year to get a Nintendo wii for Christmas and if we do not shcdule times for him to play, he will jump from his bed, to the tv, from the wii and then, he will land on the DS. Well, to much for his pediatrician, who has recomended to create a schedule, since those games are not the best help tool for an child who has difficulty focusing. Since I do not like those games very well, i agree to my husband to buy them BUT only stablising a certain times he can play with those. He is on the Daytona patch.........(.where do you think I choose this neme from?????? ) and it really makes a difference when he does use it and when he does not. We Had a conversation with him since he told us same your daugther told you about " to much caring about what she does",,,,, We are encouraging family time and sharing with the whole family; we do not whant him to live as an " independent island" inside our own home; we had several, several, seeeeeeeeeveral conversations about his rights and also abot his needs. He still have obligations in terms of being cooperative, respectfull, a participative member of family activities and traditions and we told him, life is NOT a lonely buble where we will let him get lost. He is a very sweet young man........he does not like being called a nice boy or a young boy and we respect that, in the way he proves himself one way or the other. We have screamed, cried, pulled out our ears ( hair and eyelashes) but we have decided to get more involved. We read a lot, we have explained to him what is ADD and why it is important for him to do MORE AND BETTER about himself. He is on a point that he has become more participative, more caring an more confortable with himself just because we DID NOT GIVE UP ON HIM.

Many people runs away when the get angry.......when they they proclame independence with arguments as " my rihgts of being by myself"...and dadadadadadad......... We respect his independence, but we worked more on the fact that because he has ADD that does NOT mean he is destinated to voluntary confinement to the dark room o the basement......or to choose between family and games.........We encourage him to find time for everything. I an not exactly the most athletic mom, but I try to invite him to play basketball with me.......... at the begening, he made fun of me, then, he looked at me as if he was not sure of the offert and finall, after trying and trying patiently, I have convinced him to play with me at least for 20 min. and with my husband, they go out and play golf for 2 /3 hours every Tue. and Thru. There is hope, THERE IS A GREAT HOPE, but we have to try and try and try more. I have read that ADD is a little bit stronger in girls, but still, I think that if you read more, if you talk to other people you will feel as relieved as I feel today; I used to be sad, angry, hopeless........ But I have learned to accept that my son needs me happy, with a positive actitude, showing that his " important things" are as well, important to me. love will always make you find the way. Remember ADD it is not easy to follow, it is unpredictable, and it is something that will be under your pillow as long as your child lives with you and beyond that. So look at it as " sac of feathers " you can hit it, you can squeeze it, you can bite it, you can face avery side with all your strengt.............. maybe you are not going to be able to brake or destroy it, but you will always be strong to face it, and have the courage to hit it again. Your daughter will lead the way. UFFFFFFFFFFF I feel better!!!! I hope you can find a point where you and your beautuful girl can meet and to continue together during this road only some very special parents have to walk on. !!! Best wishes !!!!

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We're in the same boat here. Jordie is bored, and even if we micromanage her day to make sure there's always something to do, it's never enough. We don't ever get the satisfaction of hearing 'wow, what a great day' from her. My wish is to hear one word of appreciation. Summer is much harder as of course there's not as much structure. I can't wait till school starts again...although then the social/friend issues start up again. When does it end?

Jessica

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