I feel as though my family is being ripped part- DSS is always harassing me, yet Leslie isn't having to take any kind of assessments. It seems as though the last couple months, all Jeremy and I have done is argue, not to mention all the stress has caused his OCD go do crazy. The OCD, to say the least, is driving me insane, not that I don't have enough on my plate already. It's very apparent after my 30 minute conference with my court appointed attorney along with my Guardian, last Monday, that the are not fighting for me all the way - they are just out to get their pay check, that's the only reason they are representing me. I don't really have a rapport with my case worker, so therefore I don't feel that I can open up with him, I don't feel that he really gets me and understands me or Jeremy for that matter. Leslie's court appointed attorney is wanting to take this case to trial. To say the least, I hate Leslie with the passion, I hate her for all the hell and torment that she caused me the last 3 1/2 yrs. She brain washed my little boy, poisoned him against me- there for he is thinking that I don't love him and that I don't want anything to do with me, and that I have chosen Jeremy over him. DSS says that William has mental health issues, well no wonder, look at the environment he's been in - DSS keeps asking me my reasons for why I did the Temp guardianship with Leslie and every time I explain myself, with the same answer, they turn everything around the wrong way. Leslie has exposed my son to things that are inappropriate, she's has abused him and neglected him. William has witnessed her and her live in girlfriend physically assaulting each other- yet I am the bad parent, yet DSS still firmly believes Leslie's lies and saying that Jeremy threw William through a wall when he was 2 1/2 and sexually molested him when he was 3. She has lied on Jeremy. Leslie must have had a lot of time on her hands to plot and plan all of this, especially for her to take the time to dig up as much dirt on Jeremy - to make me look as bad and as horrible as she can, because she knows that I don't have a past history. She really wants to rip Jeremy and I apart, and I'll be honest she's done a damn good job of it.. She doesn't really want William back, she is just saying that because she doesn't want me to get him back . It's not fair for DSS as well my lawyer's to give me an ultimatum, that Jeremy and I either take the assessments (which we will do) or else I loose William - Now if God himself told me I have to choose either William or Jeremy, I would choose William and Jeremy respects that fully - If God told me to sign over custody of William over to him I would do it in a heart beat, but I refused to allow Leslie to get William back, I'll be damned if I'm going to sign custody and guardianship of William over to Leslie's first ex-husband and his wife, and allow them to call the shots, I'm already not able to have my say enough as it is- I'll be damned if I'm going to sign my rights away or give William up for adoption - and the the crap about Jeremy not being fit to be around William due to his "anger issues", well that's nothing but a bunch of B.S. Truth of the matter is I need a good family lawyer who will fight for me all the way and will work with me and allow me to make payments, understanding that I draw disability, therefor I don't have access to a lot of money - because right now I don't feel that I have one I can truly trust.

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