I'm a guy, so I'll try :). First, "Almost Boyfriends" aren't failures, they are practice. hehe Think back and try to find the similarities in them, like their mannerisms, how they treated you, and how you acted around them.

Mannerisms: Were they generally shy, outgoing, cocky, arrogant......? There might be something you are keying on subconciously or conciously, that dooms any chance at a meaningful relationship.

Treating you: Do you excuse bad behavior hoping it will change? Whether you're a man or a woman if you give someone the permission to treat you a certain way, they will probably oblige you. You are in control of how others treat you.

How you act: If you want to be strong and confident, are you acting weak and unsure of yourself? You need to be able to project the kind of person you are or want to become. This part takes a bit of practice since you might be more familiar with the old, less confident you. Work in progress!

Enough with the theory, let's get practical! You wanna work on your confidence? Try this. Go to the bar or wherever some hunky menz are hanging out. Check out all the hotties until you catch someone's eye. (this entails a bit of flirting so practice before hand) Make sure he is someone you are physically attracted to and do that talk over drink thing. Be charming, witty or whatever it takes so that he asks for your phone number. Don't give it to him but instead ask for his. If he doesn't give it up, dump the chump and find someone else. Your ONLY goal is to get an attractive man to give you his phone number. When you do, go home and shred the number! This will help your confidence and shed any lingering essence of desperation that might still be wafting through the air. :P Just don't get to cocky with your new powers.

side effects may include never having to pay for your own drinks, refusing all men who ask you to dance, a general meglomanical feeling of euphoria. Do not attempt to drive home if euphoria persists.

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Hey Firecracker:

I love Grateful's advice!

Nobody out there in the swanky bars and dance clubs has any idea what they're doing -- they're just good at faking the confidence that allows them to flirt and talk and dance without anxiety. That confidence is more difficult to fake for some than it is for others (Did you ever watch the hilariously great "Pick-Up Artist" reality show about 6 months ago?), and the trick is usually just setting up a "going out" scene that makes you feel good about yourself - like going to a familiar spot with good friends who won't pressure you. And summer is the perfect time to find those low-key, outdoor bars or friendly BBQs where you can kick off your shoes and relax...

Here are a few ADDitude articles that might help:

Feeling Socially Weak? Build Your Strength: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/997.html

Say Hello to Social Success: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2998.html

Make a Great First Impression: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/777.html

Expand Your Social Circle: Making Friends with Adult ADD: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1003.html

Good luck! And have fun!

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Great suggestions from both! Thank you!

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