One of the reasons I've come to this forum is that I had a lightning bolt moment today, and would like to see if you lovely people can give me some advice.

First, a brief background... (fingers crossed...)

I was diagnosed about a year-and-a-half ago with an Inattentive ADD type condition. I am a mother of two wonderful EXTREMELY active intelligent little girls and I'm doing most of the child raising by myself. "Their Dad" and I separated approximately 3 years ago, partly because I was messed up by my own (at that time) undiagnosed ADD/PTSD, and partly because of his diagnosed but (at that time) completely untreated Bipolar 2 Disorder. Yep, we were definitely playing "happy families" there for a while....

Fast forward to now... A lot has changed. I'm very different, thanks to diagnosis, treatment, and educating myself about what it is that makes my life so 'quirky'. Also, "Their Dad" is now receiving treatment, and has done a great deal of work to change his life around. We're even starting to look at getting back together... which is where my recent fun has started.

You see, about a month ago, "Their Dad" entered a rather bad down phase. In fact, he was just put on an extra medication this week to try and pull him out of it. Not good!! A hard thing to cope with as a Significant Other, without adding my own mental health issues!!

However, going through this last month has given me new insight into my condition. With this new influence in my environment, my house and routines have gone down the toilet. In less than a month, all the little safety nets I'd carefully constructed have collapsed, and for a while I felt a complete and total failure as a mother and Significant Other. But then, I had a good bawl, had an episode of the poor-me's, and now I'm trying to get back on track...

So, I was doing the dishes today, when I got this bolt out of the blue. I've been living my life by a very simple rule: If it makes the most 'noise', it gets the most attention, and so it becomes a priority in my day to day life. A clear case of "look, sparkles!"

So what happens if I have someone come into my daily existence, who makes the most 'noise'? Oh, like say, someone who has been so emotionally chaotic in the past, that there were times when I felt I was walking on egg shells. Someone that I have spent days on end in the past, constantly watching for any clues that he was about to go off and do something REALLY REALLY stupid?

What happens is my life becomes CHAOS again. sigh

So, my question for you fine folk is this... how does someone who gets distracted by whatever is making the most 'noise' keep her life on track? Are there any tricks that I can use, where I can force my attention/focus back onto the day to day tasks that I need to do, when I have someone in the other room who's emotional energy is so distracting?? "If" I'm going to live with someone who is still cycling, I want to be able to manage my condition so that my reaction to him doesn't lead to my world becoming CHAOS again.

I would greatly appreciate advice...

Quote