Hello Momofsix: Your stepson is one lucky kid to have such a patient and caring parent. You're facing a lot of challenges, for sure. But maybe this summer could be the perfect time to try some new techniques (behavior therapy?) to curb the behaviors you describe... I don't have any personal experience here, but I can recommend a few of ADDitude's most popular articles on the subject:

Smart Ways to Discipline Children with ADHD: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/771.html

Behavior Therapy for Children with ADHD: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1563.html

Discipline Without Regret: Tips for Parents of ADHD Children: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2519.html

Become Your Child's Friendship Coach: ADHD Parenting Advice: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2512.html

Is Your Child Socially Immature?: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1971.html

'Summer School' for Social Smarts: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/885.html

Also, have you talked to your son's doctor about OCD? http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1476.html

Best of luck!

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Thanks for the response I will definitely start there!

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We dealt with many of the same issues that you are dealing with, and the book "Transforming the Difficult Child, The Nurtured Heart Approach" by Glasser adn Easley is amazing! It is so much more than just 'encourage the good, ignore the bad' that is touted in so many books. They offer a really concrete plan that helped our son, who has AD/HD, ODD, and has bi-polar tendencies. After reading "Healing ADD" by Daniel Amen, we took him to one of the Amen clinics for SPECT tomography, a brain scan. Based on what they saw, they were able to tell us what kind of AD/HD he has, and 'see' what areas of his brain were over and under active, and prescribe the appropriate medicine for him as an individual. Both books helped us to 'get inside his head', which has made for a lot more peace around here! Oh geez things are better, good even!

His Amen Clinic doc told us also that he needed a good, solid 30 minutes of aerobic exercise daily, which we thought would be impossible to get, but we found an answer: a trampoline! He can go jump alone or with a friend, it has a good net around it to keep the impulse to jump off of it in check, and he sleeps better and can focus better too.

The compbination of his new medicine & supplements, the trampoline, and the Nurtured Heart Approach have helped him increase his grades in 1 quarter from B's, C's and D's to four A's and 1 B (up from a D!!)! He is so proud of himself, and that has given him hope for other areas of his life and helped him to be less defiant. Oh, we also decreased carbs at the doc's recommendation.

I've read every book and article I could get my hands on, but these two books have changed our lives!

Good luck! You are not alone!

Suz

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My heart goes out to you about your stepson. I am having problems with my soon to be 18 year old. He has ADHD and ODD tendencies and he is VERY angry. We are always walking on egg shells. You are not alone.

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There is a reason why God invented (step)Mothers ...

Our nearly 13 year old adopted son is ADD/ODD ... and OUR/SON. Our lives are defined by being his Mom and Dad. But it has never been easy. We recently discovered a book that might help, "Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries" by Robert J. MacKenzie.

This book may or may not help. But please know that you are not alone ... your child has many siblings.

We can nott escape our genes. But it is the influence, for better or worse, of those who raised us that determines our real potential as a person. There is a reason why God invented (step)Mothers!

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