Hi Jolene:

Thanks so much for posting your story of school struggles. Your son sounds like an awesome (and smart) little boy, and I have no doubt that you're doing everything in your power to help him succeed at school - despite the odds. It's true that the next 3 weeks will likely drag by slowly for your son, as it's unlikely that accommodations can be put in place that quickly for him. But you have the full summer to make sure that next year starts off on the right foot.

The first step: request a formal evaluation from the school re: your son's needs for special services. More information about that and next steps: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/749.html

A sample letter for requesting an evaluation and accommodations (I'd send this ASAP): http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/792.html

Examples of effective classroom accommodations: http://www.additudemag.com/RCLP/sub/2739.html

Sample letter to next year's teacher: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2549.html

I hope this helps! And good luck through June...

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A few more suggestions for you. 1) Have your child checked out by pediatrician and get blood test - just to rule out any physical reasons for tiredness. 2) Consider getting an Occupational Therapy evaluation - both to look at muscle strength/tone and the handwiting issues. 3) Check out information on dysgraphia which is a handwriting problem that often goes along with other dysabilities. 4) Definitely, follow through with requesting evals from the school while doing all the above. Your child should have accommodations and modifications for sure. 5) Accent his strengths over the summer by activities that build his self esteem - whether music, art, etc. Hope this helps.

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I wanted to reply to the email from the mom who stated "It's not just me". I have an almost 16 yr old son who is very similar to your son, although he didn't have the sleepy issues. He began his innattentiveness and focusing problems in 4th grade. I can't say I have a lot of help or advice for your son because we have now been dealing with his problems and he just finished his Sophomore year in high school. He is very bright, smart, and loving kid who doesn't skip school, is not a behavior problem and just goes by under the radar and has for a long time. He is active in our church and is a Life Scout in Boy Scouts, on his way to Eagle Scout and he is highly praised for his continuing efforts in scouting by the staff who admire and think very highly of him which makes us very proud. I feel like we have been dealing with this part now longer than the time when he was in elementary school. We have the same conversations with him every 364 days a year (and all throughout the school year as well). He starts great and sinks midway through the year and then in a desperate attempt, he thinks he is studying and doing his best and he fails over half of his classes. I know his teachers on a first name basis and I am very involved in all three of my kids schools. I knew that would help to get to know the staff since we are so acustomed to dealiing with his acedemic problems. We've had him privately tested around 6-7th grade and his scores were so high they were off the chart. Then I began home schooling him for the remainder of 7th grade when the teacher couldn't account for his entire trimester of Lang Arts. The students were required to read then produce an in depth book report with over 10 requirements. He read the entire trimester and produced zero reports. But because he wasn't a behavior problem and he was actually reading, she didn't notice. I continued to home school him and then we moved and we felt it would be best to get him into the neighborhood school for 8th grade so he could make new friends. We had him evaluated for ADD ADHD having the outcome "undetermined" and then a second opinion and they wanted to mediate him which we did around 8th grade but it really made no difference. They increased the amount and even changed the meds and still no improvement. One time while being evaluated, the clinician said he was "great to have in the group eval and he even helped administer the testing to the other kids who were involved. At different times, we have taken away everthing from cell phone (which he's only had since high school) to his entire room (serioursly the whole room except the bed!) We even had to take away reading - which is really one of his great passions and that really made me cry. My husband and I just can't figure out what his "button" is. I feel that we have exhausted every possible option. One last thing we are currently considering is having a friend employ him to go menial labor grunt work for the summer in hopes of him realizing that getting his education will keep him from having to "settle" for a hard labor job. When you know that your child is more than capable and chooses not to perform in school, but because he is such a great guy and is not a delinquent it makes it very difficult to just sit around and hope for the best for his future. We have told him that doors are closing all around him and he doesn't even know it (the doors that could possibly lead to a successful future). Choices are being made and he doesn't even realize it. We have two girls 12 and 9 and I stayed home with them and they have a solid family life so please don't try to tell me that those things have any bearing on this. He is basically extremely lazy and it spreads throughout his life. Any tasks given at home rarely are completed with any accuracy and the frustration just mounts. He realizes this too and he just makes more excuses for his inability to complete the most basic of tasks. Of course when he knows that we are frustrated he jumps to attention and is willing to try at home but he keeps us snowed most of the year and even with the tools provided on the computer from the school dist. he doesn't follow up on missing assignments even though he says he will. This past semester he spent the last few months telling us the teacher had his assignment and she just hasn't had a chance to enter the grade when in reality she never received it and when she said she would accept it late, it never materialized. So here we are again 364 days later and it just keeps going round and round. Does anyone out there have any advice???????? This is definetley not the part I remember bargaining for when we decided to start our family, yeah I know the good with the bad and I realize that we don't really have it that bad, but believe me in our house the level of apathy is so distracting that I can hardly deal with all of the issues that come up with my other two kids. They are really the ones that lose out in this deal because of no fault of their own, they are missing out on time with me, their mom, and I desperately can't find a solution. I often tell my kids to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution and now I find that I can't even take my own advice. I feel that we have tried everything short of shock therapy! Signed, Beyond frustrated :(

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I have a 10 year ols son. he is ADD, he just finished 3rd grade. He has always had issues in school with reading and, not completing work. Every school year has been miserable for both of us. Until this year, the first 9 weeks he made all f's. he simply didnt finish work. So finally he was put on metadate. I didnt tell the school he was taking it. I wanted to wait a few weeks. And withn the next 2 weeks, people started taking notcie. The next report card came and he had a's b's and one c. He had the best school year ever. He was the first kid in class in his class every month to reach his reading goal and he got a citizenship award at the end of the year. Hes also now on grade level for reading. the only set back from the meds is cant seem to fall asleep at night. But other than that hes great. I know what its like to have the school not help you or a teacher to not understand. But you as a parent have rights and so does your child. The school is suppose to make modifications for students with disability and who are in ESE.

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