Hi Iquiros:

Welcome to the ADDitude forums - you've come to right place for answers to your questions about securing accommodations to help your son succeed at school. First of all: Has your son been formally evaluated by the school and do you have an IEP or 504 Plan in place for him? If not, we've got some great resources explaining the step-by-step process of creating formal academic accommodations.

If you do have an IEP or 504 Plan in place and your son's teachers are simply refusing to abide by it or allow changes to it, you've got a few options: in-face meetings often work better than emails. And you do have the right to request a 'due process' hearing before a judge if you feel the school is failing to meet its obligations to your son. This is really a last resort. And there are some resources I would recommend first:

Essential School Information for Parents: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1766.html

Sample Letter to Request ADHD Accommodations at School: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/792.html

A Parent's Guide to ADHD School Accommodations: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/749.html

Classroom Accommodations for School Children with ADHD: http://www.additudemag.com/RCLP/sub/2739.html

More about working with teachers: http://www.additudemag.com/topic/adhd-learning-disabilities/school-help.html

I hope this helps!

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I am having the same problem with my son's Art teacher. He is passing all his other classes, math,civics, language arts, etc. with high grades. He chose woodwork as an elective and he was givin Art instead. He is trying his best but he does have difficulting focusing and keeping on time because he has never liked to paint, color and is not very interested in this class. She has called him lazy, and he acts like a baby that need to constantly be nurtured and reminded to do his work. I have spoken to her and explained that he has ADHD and is on an IEP and 504 plan, but she said to me that everyone has problems focusing now and then but that he uses it as a handicap. I wanted to reach into the phone and stangle her and like you I had a few chosen words I would have like to say, but I knew she had something againt my son and I did not want to make things more difficult for him. He has two more weeks left and he has been going to her class in the morning to catch up. I am thinking of going to the principle after she gives him his final grade to discuss how she has treated him.

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I'm amazed. I was about to sit here and post the issues I'm having..and then I saw your post and it's almost identical to mine. I'm so sick of sitting here bawling over not knowing who to talk to or how to help my son. It just kills me to know that he sits in school all day being yelled at for things he can't help. I'm going to post my whole story in a new post so be sure to stop by. Also, please email me anytime, maybe it will help if we have ideas we can bounce off one another...

Have a great weekend! -Jolene (and Michael) in Virginia Beach,VA

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It's amazing to me how different ppl from all over can have the same situations. I have a son who was diagnosed with ADHD in Kindergarden. He is now 9 years old in the 3rd grade. We recently moved to a new school district in october. My son has hard time making friends to begin with so you can imagine how hard it was in a new environment. He has tried Adderal and daytrana the patch. We stopped him on Adderal because he was having hard time taking pills. When i heard about daytrana i thought it was a godsend. Daytrana worked for a little while but the dosage wasn't right. So we upped the dosage to 20 mg.Still wasn't helping and if anything his symptoms got worse. He was constantly crying and picking fights with everyone...teachers...my husband and myself...other children. He would yell and throw things in school..talk disrespectively to the teachers. He was constantly in the office. He recently got into a fight at school where he punched another kid for not listening to him when he asked him to get away from him. So he was sent right to the principles office. He could of been suspended right then and there but the assistant principle has a soft spot in her heart for my son. She realises he can't control himself. My son is one of the most loving little boys u could find anywhere. Always wants hugs and kisses. Always wants to be the big helper. He just can't seem to control his impulses and his anger when he gets mad. He doesn't think he is 9 sometimes. He thinks he shouldn't be told to do something. My husband and myself are at wits end with his recent behavior problems. We have tried the taking of things away, the time outs, going to bed early, no t.v., etc..etc..He doesn't care anymore and its so sad to see a child so unhappy. He knows he is different from other children. He said to me on many occasions he wishes he was normal and like other kids. He gets so upset if he doesn't grasp things fast enough. He knows he is loved by his family and he knows we will move heaven and earth to help him. So when we upped his dosage of daytrana things got worse for him. Thats when he started with the violent behavior at school and constantly arguing with the teachers. At the old school, we never had that problem with him. He wasn't like that to the teachers and the other kids. I have a IEP thru the school and work closely with the teachers. I refuse to let the teachers have the last word when it comes to my son. Before they discipline my son, before they do anything with him i make sure I am notified and i help with the discipline with my son. Some of the teachers i believe have no tolerence and understanding when it comes to children who have ADHD. It's not that our children are being bad cause they feel like it. They truly have problems that they can't control. If my child doesn't cooperate in class right away he is sent away to the principles office. You know, I realize they have other children they have to deal with but if they can't deal with all that is expected of them then they shouldn't be teachers. Some of my sons teachers seem like they are trying but not all. Now to make matters worse, both my sons were diagnosed with a heart condition called Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy(abnormal hardening of the heart muscle)Very serious condition. Now my son can't be on ANY stimulants. Can't even participate in gym class or competitive sports. To do so could cause his heart to over work and could possibly go into cardiac arrest. Some children don't even know they had this condition have fallen down dead playing baseball football etc. So what do we do now? I have taken my son to a counselor. We are examining every possible avenue to help him. in order to see a phsycologist he needs to be in counseling. OK fine. The kicker.. We have to wait6-8 weeks to be seen by this phsycologist. Its like the hits just keep on coming for my son and as a parent i have to sit by and watch my son go thru all this and not a damn thing i can do but wait. I have informed the school of his medical problems and we have discussed ways to help my son not get into bad situations. Well now he can't be outside for recess. There is limited supervision out there so he has to be inside so not to get into trouble. I keep drilling into them that a child with ADHD can't sit in a seat for 5 minutes let alone a whole recess. This kind of seperates him from dealing with peers and how this helps him make friends i havn't the slightest. We have tried Strattera when he was younger as i was afraid to put him on stimulants. Might as well of taken nothing as it didnt do nothing for him. The problem currently is these children at school that don't like my son are provoking him into arguments to get him in trouble and it has worked. I have had meetings and telephone calls with the school to bring this to their attention. The teachers claim they don't see what the others do but they always manage to see my son. Kinda funny. So i respectively told them that i will take this to the board of education about how some teachers don't pay attention to what is going on in these classrooms and i will make it one of my top priorities. I further explained that my son deserves an education just like the rest of the class and i demand these issues looked into. I can truly understand and relate with all the parents in these forums. I would reccomend getting your child w an IEP thru their school. If you have an active IEP remember you dont have to sign anything you dont agree to. Also, if behaviors is an issue with your child then stated on their IEP should be about behavior. There are laws in place for children as i am finding out. Before i end my novel LOL. I would like to express to all parents who have children on stimulants. Please demand your child get seen by a pediatric heart specialist for standard tests on the heart. I wouldnt of known my sons had any problems with their heart if his doctor didn't reccommend seeing one.

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