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On the Topic of Depression
Some days I am hyper effective. Some days I can barely function and don't want to bother. I just want to go back to bed.
I just don't know if it has to be so hard. I am exhausted. I don't even know what the first step is to help myself.
I have a kid with autism and I should have clear cut routines to help him succeed and ultimately make life easier for all of us. I don't think I can stick to them myself, though. I am inconsistent with all of the kids sometimes I am very insistent about taking care of their things other times I really don't care if toys are scattered all over the place.
I understand depression is a common issue with ADD. I am taking zoloft have been for a long time, Adderall XR as well, 40mg daily.
I feel like I am shutting down most days. I don't leave the house unless I have to, cook dinner sporadically, don't return phone calls or make plans with people if I can avoid it. I can put on a poker happy face if need be, pull it together for the sake of appearing normal at school events and such. Although I never never have company to our house. Each morning I start the day with the hope I might get it together and can be a TV mom. Then we have yogurt or pizza for dinner, the house is disgusting and I can hardly wait to take a bath, go to bed and read.
When the Adderall kicks in there is hope which diminishes as the morning passes.
How do people do it? Why is it getting harder?
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