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| kathy |
Join Date:
Wed 14th May 2008
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Will This Ever Get Better?
My son is 7 years old and is at the end of the first grade. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome. He started pre-K a very happy kid who loved to go to school and we didn't have any problems until he started kindergarten. He started getting in trouble every day for little things like not sitting still, tapping his foot against another kids, blurting out answers ect.... He actually got written up for these minor offenses. Then he started arguing with teachers, students and was put in ISS. In kindergarten!!!! I was so mad, I didn't know what to do. This was all pre diagnosis. So he leaves kindergarten at the end of the year a little shell shocked. He now has a sense of failure and feels like he can't do anything right. I spent the whole summer that year trying to repair the damage. So after that off he goes to first grade. Same problems start all over again. "Mrs. Norris, he won't sit still, stay focused, he's very argumentative and we can't do anything with him". So that's when we went to the doctor and found out about adhd and the AS. So the school knows that now and he's still getting in trouble for the same stuff! He's got a 504 plan at the school but it only encompasses test taking. He comes home in tears because he feels like a failure. His grades are excellent but he only sees the negative as does the school. He tries so hard to behave but when something doesn't go right or he can't put the pieces together he has a meltdown and he's in trouble again! He has been written up about 40 - 50 times since kindergarten. Most of which were this school year. 3 write up's equal ISS or OSS. You do the math! Is there anything I can do? Are private school's any better about kids with ADHD and AS, cause I feel like the school knows nothing about Aspie's and doesn't want to educate itself on the subject. Maybe I should educate them. I face another summer now trying to repair damage that could've been prevented. He gets depressed now whenever he has to talk about school and he's only in the first grade!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry this is so long, but I'm really frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Anni |
Join Date:
Thu 25th Oct 2007
Threads: 2 Posts: 130 |
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Useful Resources
Hello Kathy: I'm so sorry to hear about the hurdles and challenges you've faced in getting the right accommodations for your son. He's lucky to have a mother as dedicated and knowledgeable as you, but I can understand both of your frustrations. As this school year draws to a close, you may want to begin thinking already about the fall and what you can do to start off on the right foot... Here are some of ADDitude's most popular and hands-on helpful articles about working with teachers and administrators to get the best accommodations in place (since it sounds like your 504 Plan needs a revision!)... Essential School Information for Parents: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1766.html Sample Letter to Request ADHD Accommodations at School: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/792.html Is Your Child's IEP Working? Checking Up on ADHD Accommodations: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/943.html A Parent's Guide to ADHD School Accommodations: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/749.html Introducing Your ADHD Child to His Teacher and Securing ADHD Accommodations: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2549.html I hope this helps! |
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| b2magee |
Join Date:
Thu 15th May 2008
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7 yr old with ADHD and school
Kathy - I also have a 7 yr old son who has ADHD and possibly other things. We start testing tomorrow. It has been a long road. My son was diagnonsed when he was 5 and we had a very hard year in kindergarten. Mainly because when these little things occured, the teachers and aids would antogonize the situation and would not diffuse it. In essence, they would get in a power struggle with him and he would lose it! I feel for you. You just have to be persistent and on the school's back. I would request that an IEP be done not just for test taking. There are many extra things that can be done. After many 'discussions' with the teacher and the administration at his school, we have come to an agreement. ( It also didn't hurt that we threatened to go speak to the school bo ard.)We have things in place for when they see him begin to act out or get frustrated. many times they remove him from the class( not as punishment) for one on one sessions. There is no getting around it... we both as parents of ADHD boys have along road ahead of us. We need to educate ourselves and be their advocates. That doesn't mean we agree with their behavior. However, I read a book once that said sometimes you have to look on their behavior as part of a disability and not get so frustrated. They are not normal children and the school should allow for an individual education plan and an individual discipline plan. Our boys don't get the connection of next day ISS or OSS being tied back to their disruptive behavior. Actually, my son has loved the OSS because he has one on one attention and it is not so distracting! Hang in there and be persisitent with the school. I was naive last year and thought the school knew what they were doing.... I have since educated myself and them. It is almost like our children are falling thru the cracks. The normal discipline plans don't work and those that pertain to mentally retarded children don't work either because our children have the IQ but not the behavior or attention. GOOD LUCK!!!! |
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| drep |
Join Date:
Thu 15th May 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 1 |
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suggestion & help for will this ever get better?
i just read your e-mail & ? to will this ever get better? i don't know if it ever get's better, but it might get easier along the way. i'm a adult who has adhd & as & other developmental disabilities. i've noticed over time that in certain situations, & enviroments, it does get easier, once you know the triggers, & what works & doesn't. i know for myself, to this day i still have trouble with my behavior & communication, but it has gotten somewhat easier for me. besides the medication, some stuff that has worked to help calm me down, is calming music, healing touch, & essential oils, that's just a suggestion if you're looking for some solution's that might help. if you want, if you have ?'s, you can either e-mail me- dringhausen@lifetouch.com, or call me- 952-212-8670. |
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| Peggylynn |
Join Date:
Tue 22nd Apr 2008
Threads: 2 Posts: 3 |
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kathy
I can so relate to you. My son is 81/2 and was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers when he was 6 yrs old. Once the IEP was in place, and he was placed in a much smaller classroom, he excelled! However this year in 2nd grade is has done nothing but regress!! He's on his 5th adhd med and is now on Abilify and being weaned off of Risperdal. He's an emotional wreck, agressive and crying over everything. I TOO wonder if it will ever get better, but in my heart of hearts, I have to believe it will, for my little boy's sake. My heart goes out to you!
Last edited by Peggylynn : 24 May 2008 @ 4:02 PM.
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| controled chaos |
Join Date:
Fri 30th May 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 0 |
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My prayers to your son as well as you. I have adhd so bad and I
Quote: Peggylynn said: I can so relate to you. My son is 81/2 and was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers when he was 6 yrs old. Once the IEP was in place, and he was placed in a much smaller classroom, he excelled! However this year in 2nd grade is has done nothing but regress!! He's on his 5th adhd med and is now on Abilify and being weaned off of Risperdal. He's an emotional wreck, agressive and crying over everything. I TOO wonder if it will ever get better, but in my heart of hearts, I have to believe it will, for my little boy's sake. |
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| Leeanne |
Join Date:
Thu 24th Apr 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 1 |
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Will This Ever Get Better?
Imagine my shock, when as a special education teacher I could not get the accomodations my son needed! I remember saying in a meeting, "So you mean to tell me that you have all these special programs for kids who are more severely handicapped and a child like mine, who isn't "severe enough" won't be tested by the school and/or put on an IEP? This is child who can be guided to have a positive productive experience at school and become a productive member of society . And he could just fall through the crac ks?" (Note: All people can be productive members of society, including those with severe handicaps... I just wanted to clarify that.) They all sat there and just nodded at me. I wondered how many teachers were thinking the same thing. Then they asked me what I wanted them to do. I felt like screaming, "YOU TELL ME!!!!" So, I think you're right, you are the one with the most knowledge about and ability to be an advocate for your child. You've done a great job so far getting him on a 504 plan. If he is still getting into trouble, it means the 504 plan needs to be adjusted to deal with his disability. So, when you see a pattern of a problem.. notify the teacher immediately and tell him/her that you would like to have a meeting to adjust the 504 plan. As a parent, you can call a meeting anytime you want. Do this as often as necessary... don't wait a year, 6 months, or 3 months. If a 504 plan does not give your son what he needs, they should then go to an IEP. They are obligated to create an environment where your child can learn. Sometimes you have to jump through hoops to get what you need. Just speak kindly and approach things as a team effort. Most teachers I know want a child to succeed, and are willing to do what is necessary to make that happen. My son is 11, and we started the 504 thing at age 7 as well... it was a BIG hassle gettting that going, too. He is now on an IEP and more of his needs are being met at school. It was very difficult to get to that point, because he wasn't "severe enough" to warrant testing and/or an IEP from the school. Later I was told that if it wasn't for the continued documentation and the 504 plan, he would not have qualified for an IEP. An IEP is a legal document and HAS to be followed. So, keep being a squeaky wheel and you will get what you need. I also know that schools, at least in this state (WA) , can't suspend and/or expel a student for behavior when the behavior IS his disability. You probably already know all this, but thanks for letting me rant about it!!! You're doing great! Keep it up! |
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