I feel like I have finally made a real breakthrough: I have come to the place in my life where I have come to terms with having severe AD/HD. You can read about some it here, or you can visit my blog.

http://www.mytopdrawer01.blogspot.com

It seems like; well at least for me it was this way. I was diagnosed with disabling AD/HD and then I became seriously depressed. Then I entered into an acceptance faze. Then finally I needed to transition into accepting terms with having AD/HD and being disabled. This I discovered was very difficult for me. I did want to be disabled; I have no desire to be like this. I had a plan for my life, and it did not include having severe AD/HD and being disabled. I want what normal people take for granted. Which is the ability to perform their chosen vocation, and maintain active employment.

So coming to terms with having AD/HD has been very difficult for me. I looked for everything else that defined me and I said to myself “see AD/HD is not defining you. You are an artist that happens to have AD/HD.” I was just avoiding having to come to terms with my disability, dealing with all of this. Who am I kidding? AD/HD does define who I am.

When I was a child I had a very difficult time learning how to reading. Then my mother purchased comic books for me, and I learned how to read. Then I noticed all of the pictures in these comic books and decided that I could draw like that too. Thus I became an artist.

My teachers and some adults all said that I was stupid and would never amount to anything. So I decided to prove them all wrong and work harder than anybody else in my office. Every job I lost, I worked that much harder on the next job. I developed iron will character.

Because of my AD/HD I cannot drive. Well actually I can drive, I just choose not to do so because I am incapable of paying attention to traffic and the road. I hate taking public transportation so I decided to bicycle everywhere I go. Thus I became an accomplished bicyclist.

The person I am today is because of the trials and tribulations of my past. I am defined by my life lessons. I am an individual that has the strength and fortitude of their character, BECAUSE of AD/HD. I need to embrace who I am and be proud of every aspect of my personhood. There are not a lot of people in this world who can say the same things about themselves.

The only thing that has changed about me is that I am finally diagnosed and aware of the fact that I have disabling AD/HD and that is it. This means I may not have to work so hard at failing anymore. My life may become easier to manage for me now. Plus I am still the individual that lost 100 lbs. I am still a man that has the strength and fortitude of his character.

So I went on a bicycle ride 4:00 AM this morning and I finally came to terms with my disability. Go to my Blog www.mytopdrawer01.blogspot.com and watch my videos. I took some amazing videos all over Seattle.

I actually woke up before 4:00 AM and I could not get back to sleep. I had a million thoughts going through my mind and I could not focus on any of them. I was just feeling sorry for myself because I am disabled. So I decided to get up and go bicycling. When I am bicycling my thoughts slow down enough that I am capable of focusing and ultimately concentrating. It’s the only time that when things make the most sense to me.

I raced up this one hill by my house and when I reached the top I laughed to myself and thought “haha, who else can do that.” And then I realized that I have this fitness because of AD/HD.

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