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OverLoaded / yet my heart is heavy

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Thread : OverLoaded / yet my heart is heavy
3 May 2008 @ 8:09 PM
LadyRaines526928	Join Date: Wed 12th Mar 2008 Threads: 12 Posts: 7
OverLoaded / yet my heart is heavy Ah...... oh lord it seems as tho these days Im overLoaded . I've got three people in my life whom I love with all my heart and each one of them a stressful situation in which comes with them . First one ( Jr) bless his heart I love him to death but between the hyper activeness of his ADHD & his OCD , constiently feeling the need for cleaniness, perfection as well as order, not to menton that because of jr's ADHD he goes 90 miles an hour so there for I have a hard time keeping up with him , and being ADD myself after a while i'm just mentally drained because I feel like I'm having to keep up with racing rabbit, and I know that he doesn't mean to be like this , most of the time I can handle his hyper activness but I have my days where I'm too mentally drained to keep up . The 2nd one- My mom who is 61, bless her heart she lives in a hudge 4 bed room 2 bath house that she can no longer physically maintain by her self any more, Jr & I have gotten to where we can no longer keep making trips out to her house 3-4 times a week which is an hr from where Jr & I live on the other side of town , we have gotten to where we can no longer keep making 3-4 trips simply because the cost of gas has gone up so high , plus when ever we do run arrons for her like going to the grocery store, doing her arrons alone take up 2-3 hrs out of our day , when we ourselves have our own arrons to run , our own bills we have to pay . Fact is with my mom being disabled and not able to get out and do her own arrons, Jr & I are forced to them but the time has come that my mom has to move out of her house and get a 2 bed room 1 bath room trailor out toward where Jr & I live , we feel that by her doing that, she'l be 15 minutes closer to us, she wouldn't have the stress of paying a morgage, she would only have to pay rent- there for she would save more money , plus she wouldn't have the stress of worrying about maintaining a big hudge house, and she wouldn't have the stress of worrying about fixing appliances - because it would be on the lan lord to fix and maintance. Fact of the matter my mom deserves to live a nice, clean place where she can still have her indepence but not be so overwhelmed with a house she can no longer maintain. The other big reason why my mom needs to move so bad, is because her house is unsanitary, it's so filthy that no one could clean it, and the reason behind the house being so unsanitary is because my mom has a cat problem that has just gotten out of hand, now my mom is not an cat horder , no no, she's just not been phiscally able to get out and get the cat to vet to get it fixed, there for the cat has multiplied , there for the kittens have multiplied , and because now the kitten are faral, their impossible to catch , now don't get me wrong their all fed very very well , trust me , my mom treats these cats like their her kids but fact of the matter is the cats have destroyed the house, the house reeks of cat urine a poop, you have to watch evey where you walk simply because you might either step on a kitten or cat poop , its sicken and it's sad, to say the demand of taking care of the cats has taken is toll on my mom , not menton how much she spends in cat food , oh i don't want to eve go there. Truth be told , it's time for my mom to move out of that house or else i'm afraid she' going to injury her self simply because the house is not designed for some one who is physcially disabled and limited in their mobility . I know I would feel alot better knowing that my mom is 15 minutes away - in her own trailor , she's comfortible, she's able to wash her own dishes, do her hobbies, enjoy being a grand mother , but the fact that she's in a cleaner environment is what would ease my fears of her picking up an infection , because the house that she is in currently right now, she could easy get an infection . Finally then , there's person number 3- My almost 7 yr old son William , the stressful situation that I've have gotten him by appointing my best friend of 20 something yrs Temp guardianship of my son , now every thing is a mess, since my quote on quote best friend has violated her part in the Temp guardianship , by cutting me off from all communication between me and my son - because she quote on quote feels that Jr is mentally unstable , all because Jr poped his mouth off to her, when he saw through her and figured out that she was doing some shaddy stuff - and exposing my son to things that are high inappropriate to a 7 yr old- I have now taken legal action , gotten myself a lawyer to revoke the Temp guardian ship and get my son back- because I feel that Leslie ( who was my bestfriend ( and has temp Guaridanship of my son - I feel that now she is unfit to be my son's guardian - so that it its self has been really hard to deal with , considering the fact that I've have been nothing but loyal friend to Leslie during our whole 20 something yrs we've known each other- now i'm just lookin forward to getting my son back and removing this toxic person from my life - yet my heart is heavy because my poor little boy in the middle of it all and the last thing i want do is put him through an intense court battle. Fact of the matter is , I could never turn my back on any of these three people Jr, my mom , my son who are my life and my world, without them i wouldn't be the person I am today. Yet being ADD some times makes its that much more stressful and intense, even tho most of the time i thrive on a challange, but all of this mess is too much. I know if my mom lived out toward where jr and I live, it would cut down on alot of her stress and our stress . All i can do is ask god for the strength to climb the moutain , because in the end this too shall make me stronger. Quote

Thread : OverLoaded / yet my heart is heavy

3 May 2008 @ 8:09 PM

LadyRaines526928

Join Date: Wed 12th Mar 2008
Threads: 12 Posts: 7

OverLoaded / yet my heart is heavy

Ah...... oh lord it seems as tho these days Im overLoaded . I've got three people in my life whom I love with all my heart and each one of them a stressful situation in which comes with them . First one ( Jr) bless his heart I love him to death but between the hyper activeness of his ADHD & his OCD , constiently feeling the need for cleaniness, perfection as well as order, not to menton that because of jr's ADHD he goes 90 miles an hour so there for I have a hard time keeping up with him , and being ADD myself after a while i'm just mentally drained because I feel like I'm having to keep up with racing rabbit, and I know that he doesn't mean to be like this , most of the time I can handle his hyper activness but I have my days where I'm too mentally drained to keep up .

The 2nd one- My mom who is 61, bless her heart she lives in a hudge 4 bed room 2 bath house that she can no longer physically maintain by her self any more, Jr & I have gotten to where we can no longer keep making trips out to her house 3-4 times a week which is an hr from where Jr & I live on the other side of town , we have gotten to where we can no longer keep making 3-4 trips simply because the cost of gas has gone up so high , plus when ever we do run arrons for her like going to the grocery store, doing her arrons alone take up 2-3 hrs out of our day , when we ourselves have our own arrons to run , our own bills we have to pay . Fact is with my mom being disabled and not able to get out and do her own arrons, Jr & I are forced to them but the time has come that my mom has to move out of her house and get a 2 bed room 1 bath room trailor out toward where Jr & I live , we feel that by her doing that, she'l be 15 minutes closer to us, she wouldn't have the stress of paying a morgage, she would only have to pay rent- there for she would save more money , plus she wouldn't have the stress of worrying about maintaining a big hudge house, and she wouldn't have the stress of worrying about fixing appliances - because it would be on the lan lord to fix and maintance. Fact of the matter my mom deserves to live a nice, clean place where she can still have her indepence but not be so overwhelmed with a house she can no longer maintain. The other big reason why my mom needs to move so bad, is because her house is unsanitary, it's so filthy that no one could clean it, and the reason behind the house being so unsanitary is because my mom has a cat problem that has just gotten out of hand, now my mom is not an cat horder , no no, she's just not been phiscally able to get out and get the cat to vet to get it fixed, there for the cat has multiplied , there for the kittens have multiplied , and because now the kitten are faral, their impossible to catch , now don't get me wrong their all fed very very well , trust me , my mom treats these cats like their her kids but fact of the matter is the cats have destroyed the house, the house reeks of cat urine a poop, you have to watch evey where you walk simply because you might either step on a kitten or cat poop , its sicken and it's sad, to say the demand of taking care of the cats has taken is toll on my mom , not menton how much she spends in cat food , oh i don't want to eve go there. Truth be told , it's time for my mom to move out of that house or else i'm afraid she' going to injury her self simply because the house is not designed for some one who is physcially disabled and limited in their mobility . I know I would feel alot better knowing that my mom is 15 minutes away - in her own trailor , she's comfortible, she's able to wash her own dishes, do her hobbies, enjoy being a grand mother , but the fact that she's in a cleaner environment is what would ease my fears of her picking up an infection , because the house that she is in currently right now, she could easy get an infection .

Finally then , there's person number 3- My almost 7 yr old son William , the stressful situation that I've have gotten him by appointing my best friend of 20 something yrs Temp guardianship of my son , now every thing is a mess, since my quote on quote best friend has violated her part in the Temp guardianship , by cutting me off from all communication between me and my son - because she quote on quote feels that Jr is mentally unstable , all because Jr poped his mouth off to her, when he saw through her and figured out that she was doing some shaddy stuff - and exposing my son to things that are high inappropriate to a 7 yr old- I have now taken legal action , gotten myself a lawyer to revoke the Temp guardian ship and get my son back- because I feel that Leslie ( who was my bestfriend ( and has temp Guaridanship of my son - I feel that now she is unfit to be my son's guardian - so that it its self has been really hard to deal with , considering the fact that I've have been nothing but loyal friend to Leslie during our whole 20 something yrs we've known each other- now i'm just lookin forward to getting my son back and removing this toxic person from my life - yet my heart is heavy because my poor little boy in the middle of it all and the last thing i want do is put him through an intense court battle. Fact of the matter is , I could never turn my back on any of these three people Jr, my mom , my son who are my life and my world, without them i wouldn't be the person I am today. Yet being ADD some times makes its that much more stressful and intense, even tho most of the time i thrive on a challange, but all of this mess is too much. I know if my mom lived out toward where jr and I live, it would cut down on alot of her stress and our stress . All i can do is ask god for the strength to climb the moutain , because in the end this too shall make me stronger.

Quote

4 May 2008 @ 2:04 PM Reply # 1
ADD RN	Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007 Threads: 5 Posts: 105
Heavy heart I am not going to tell you things you already know; but hope to help you have some insight to your situation. I here the freasons some of the things can be rectified hopefully easily . The hardest will be your son because you had giiven custody to someone else. The easiest one is your mother especically if she has the finance to get find a professional cleaning person who can come and really scrub down the place so she can sell her too big home for a nice profit. The way you describe it noone will buy it. Really the smell of cat urine and poo is jsut way too much for an average person to ask to take this home. If you don't have the finance turn your elloquent writing to OPRAH or doctor PHil who have known to help those who are really in need. I know it so hard sometimes to fix our wrongs (lack of a better word) and make it fit into our life. Junior sounds like your diamond that at times is still in the rough . You must learn to tell him "NO " when he pressuring you to do things tht you are able to do or keep up with him. He sounds like he doesn't realize how fatiguing he can be. Being ADHD and OCD can be come to focused on decreasing his anxiety ;patience on your part is, and will always be your largest challenge. He can't be allowed to take advantage of you or anyone else because of his disabilities. Try for yourself some quite mediation it is quite easy for ADD because we naturally allow our minds to wander. As for your son I wish I knew the laws buit I don't and just pray if it is the right thing for him to be taken away from his caretaker ; and returned to you it will happen Quote

4 May 2008 @ 2:04 PM Reply # 1

ADD RN

Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007
Threads: 5 Posts: 105

Heavy heart

I am not going to tell you things you already know; but hope to help you have some insight to your situation. I here the freasons some of the things can be rectified hopefully easily . The hardest will be your son because you had giiven custody to someone else. The easiest one is your mother especically if she has the finance to get find a professional cleaning person who can come and really scrub down the place so she can sell her too big home for a nice profit. The way you describe it noone will buy it. Really the smell of cat urine and poo is jsut way too much for an average person to ask to take this home. If you don't have the finance turn your elloquent writing to OPRAH or doctor PHil who have known to help those who are really in need. I know it so hard sometimes to fix our wrongs (lack of a better word) and make it fit into our life. Junior sounds like your diamond that at times is still in the rough . You must learn to tell him "NO " when he pressuring you to do things tht you are able to do or keep up with him. He sounds like he doesn't realize how fatiguing he can be. Being ADHD and OCD can be come to focused on decreasing his anxiety ;patience on your part is, and will always be your largest challenge. He can't be allowed to take advantage of you or anyone else because of his disabilities. Try for yourself some quite mediation it is quite easy for ADD because we naturally allow our minds to wander. As for your son I wish I knew the laws buit I don't and just pray if it is the right thing for him to be taken away from his caretaker ; and returned to you it will happen

Quote

4 May 2008 @ 5:40 PM Reply # 2
LadyRaines526928	Join Date: Wed 12th Mar 2008 Threads: 12 Posts: 7
Heavy Heart ADD- RN - Thank you so much for words of encouragement . I think once my mother can talk to her morgage company, explain the situation , once we have things taken care of from that end, my mom and I can then go to DSS the Adult services dept and sit down and talk to them , explain to them that my mom is physically not able to mangage the house in it's self with normal basic up keep, cleaning, mantancing appliances ect ect. My mom and I can then go from there and work on getting her a 2 bed room 1 bath room trailor complete with ramp to where she can easly go in and out- and move her and her trailor out on the side of town where Jeremy and I live- from there once we have moved her out towards us- we'll work on her own tranportation so she can be more indpendent and not have to depend on Jeremy and i so much to run her arrons for her. I think that by doing that , that Jeremy won't get so stressed out- there for there will be alot more calmness - that in it's self I feel will help Jeremy's ADHD- as wel as his OCD- and that will help me calm down and not be so stressed out - Now as for William - I already have a dated scheduled to sit down with a lawyer and talk about my case- Now because the temp Guardianship papers were drawn up in Tallahassee FL my lawyer is going to have to file a motion with the clerk of court of FL to revoke the Temp Guardianship- and then have the case tranferred up here to NC- Then ( Leslie the girl whom I was best friend W/ 20 something yrs ) Leslie will have no choice but to give my son back peacefully , then she can go on with her life and I can go on with my life. Then I can finally remove her & that whole toxic relationship from my life all together . Fact of the matter is there needs to be some balance in my life and the only way I'm going to get that balance is to get my mom moved and that whole mess taken care of- Jeremy and I not being so weighed down by taking of my mom will inreturn help his ADHD- as well as the OCD - and that in return will help my ADD and not feeling so overloded - and over worked- even tho there are times when I thrive on stressed and challanges but I can say this time- I'm not thriving on any of this stress . All I can do is ask jesus to give me strength because all of this in a way is god's way of testing me - showing me that I'm stronger than i give myself credit for- and to keep pressing , and I will blessed by god. Quote Last edited by LadyRaines526928 : 4 May 2008 @ 5:43 PM. Reason:

4 May 2008 @ 5:40 PM Reply # 2

LadyRaines526928

Join Date: Wed 12th Mar 2008
Threads: 12 Posts: 7

Heavy Heart

ADD- RN - Thank you so much for words of encouragement . I think once my mother can talk to her morgage company, explain the situation , once we have things taken care of from that end, my mom and I can then go to DSS the Adult services dept and sit down and talk to them , explain to them that my mom is physically not able to mangage the house in it's self with normal basic up keep, cleaning, mantancing appliances ect ect. My mom and I can then go from there and work on getting her a 2 bed room 1 bath room trailor complete with ramp to where she can easly go in and out- and move her and her trailor out on the side of town where Jeremy and I live- from there once we have moved her out towards us- we'll work on her own tranportation so she can be more indpendent and not have to depend on Jeremy and i so much to run her arrons for her. I think that by doing that , that Jeremy won't get so stressed out- there for there will be alot more calmness - that in it's self I feel will help Jeremy's ADHD- as wel as his OCD- and that will help me calm down and not be so stressed out - Now as for William - I already have a dated scheduled to sit down with a lawyer and talk about my case- Now because the temp Guardianship papers were drawn up in Tallahassee FL my lawyer is going to have to file a motion with the clerk of court of FL to revoke the Temp Guardianship- and then have the case tranferred up here to NC- Then ( Leslie the girl whom I was best friend W/ 20 something yrs ) Leslie will have no choice but to give my son back peacefully , then she can go on with her life and I can go on with my life. Then I can finally remove her & that whole toxic relationship from my life all together . Fact of the matter is there needs to be some balance in my life and the only way I'm going to get that balance is to get my mom moved and that whole mess taken care of- Jeremy and I not being so weighed down by taking of my mom will inreturn help his ADHD- as well as the OCD - and that in return will help my ADD and not feeling so overloded - and over worked- even tho there are times when I thrive on stressed and challanges but I can say this time- I'm not thriving on any of this stress . All I can do is ask jesus to give me strength because all of this in a way is god's way of testing me - showing me that I'm stronger than i give myself credit for- and to keep pressing , and I will blessed by god.

Quote

Last edited by LadyRaines526928 : 4 May 2008 @ 5:43 PM. Reason:

4 May 2008 @ 11:29 PM Reply # 3
ADD RN	Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007 Threads: 5 Posts: 105
ADD can be so stressful I understand how stressful being ADD can be and I really feel for you. It can be so overwhelmining when so many depend on us and we think I can bearly depend on myself. It in the long around I think it will work out. I really don't understand this Leslie why wouldn't she want to return your child. i know raising a child can make the bond tight ; but I also had children who I loved with all my hear t but never got in the way of their mother or father. I would have had only intervened if I found the parent to be abusive to the children. I have a friend since I was 13 and I trust him with my life and all my secrets that I never told my husband. It is because he really get me. My husband loves me ; but doesn't really understand ADD so it causes tension between us. I really have to work hard at being married; my friends comes easy and I would do anything except kill or steal or anything illegal for him. Good luck in your fight for your son. And get some rest. Make sure you do what you told me in your post regarding your mom , don't get distracted like I would because I hate paperwork and it always comes up with mortgage companies Please keep me updated. Quote

4 May 2008 @ 11:29 PM Reply # 3

ADD RN

Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007
Threads: 5 Posts: 105

ADD can be so stressful

I understand how stressful being ADD can be and I really feel for you. It can be so overwhelmining when so many depend on us and we think I can bearly depend on myself. It in the long around I think it will work out.

I really don't understand this Leslie why wouldn't she want to return your child. i know raising a child can make the bond tight ; but I also had children who I loved with all my hear t but never got in the way of their mother or father. I would have had only intervened if I found the parent to be abusive to the children. I have a friend since I was 13 and I trust him with my life and all my secrets that I never told my husband. It is because he really get me. My husband loves me ; but doesn't really understand ADD so it causes tension between us. I really have to work hard at being married; my friends comes easy and I would do anything except kill or steal or anything illegal for him.

Good luck in your fight for your son. And get some rest. Make sure you do what you told me in your post regarding your mom , don't get distracted like I would because I hate paperwork and it always comes up with mortgage companies Please keep me updated.

Quote

6 May 2008 @ 7:55 AM Reply # 4
LadyRaines526928	Join Date: Wed 12th Mar 2008 Threads: 12 Posts: 7
Thank so much for understanding me ADD- RN, thank you so much for understanding all the struggles that I am facing. As of right now I'm doing everything I can to form some balance in my life - starting with my mom , staying on her about calling her morgage company , because she can't do anything as far as moving until she talks to her morgage company- once she has done that- we can from there, from there we have work to trapt all the faral cats and kitten that my has and get them to no kill shelters where they can have a happy life- from there we need to call DSS and talk to the adult services and explain the situation and what my mom is needing - Fact of the matter is if my doesn't move out of that nasty house, I"m afraid she's going to catch some sort of infection and end up in the hopital or else worse I'm afraid that she's going to fall and break something because she has magazines stooned all over the place- AS for Jr and I think alot of our issues come my mom and all of that stress. I know with out a shadow of doubt if my mom were to move out of the house she is currently in and move out toward where Jr and I live @- got her self a 2 bed room 1 bath trailor 15 minutes away I know that it woud cut down on alot of the stress for Jr and I in general , not to menton the fact that my mom could then gain some of her indpendence back and not have to depend on Jr and I so much to run and do her arrons, like the grocery shopping. Now I'm praying that the lawyer I have an appointment with On the 17 of May @ 10 is the answer to my prayers, I'm praying that he'll be able to help me get the temp Guaridanship that I have with Leslie revoked and get the case tranferred here to NC. Hopefully it won't take any time and I'll get my little boy back and Jr and I & WILLIAM can be a famiily finally . Quote

6 May 2008 @ 7:55 AM Reply # 4

LadyRaines526928

Join Date: Wed 12th Mar 2008
Threads: 12 Posts: 7

Thank so much for understanding me

ADD- RN, thank you so much for understanding all the struggles that I am facing. As of right now I'm doing everything I can to form some balance in my life - starting with my mom , staying on her about calling her morgage company , because she can't do anything as far as moving until she talks to her morgage company- once she has done that- we can from there, from there we have work to trapt all the faral cats and kitten that my has and get them to no kill shelters where they can have a happy life- from there we need to call DSS and talk to the adult services and explain the situation and what my mom is needing - Fact of the matter is if my doesn't move out of that nasty house, I"m afraid she's going to catch some sort of infection and end up in the hopital or else worse I'm afraid that she's going to fall and break something because she has magazines stooned all over the place- AS for Jr and I think alot of our issues come my mom and all of that stress. I know with out a shadow of doubt if my mom were to move out of the house she is currently in and move out toward where Jr and I live @- got her self a 2 bed room 1 bath trailor 15 minutes away I know that it woud cut down on alot of the stress for Jr and I in general , not to menton the fact that my mom could then gain some of her indpendence back and not have to depend on Jr and I so much to run and do her arrons, like the grocery shopping.

Now I'm praying that the lawyer I have an appointment with On the 17 of May @ 10 is the answer to my prayers, I'm praying that he'll be able to help me get the temp Guaridanship that I have with Leslie revoked and get the case tranferred here to NC. Hopefully it won't take any time and I'll get my little boy back and Jr and I & WILLIAM can be a famiily finally .

Quote

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