Please don't fret and worry about what hasn't happened...just be thankful that the rest of your days will be filled with purpose! No need to cry over spilled milk! My daughter , who's 17, was just diagnosed with ADD, inattentive type, and I now have an appointment to discuss ADD with my physician. Finally, I think someone will pay attention to the fact that my whole life has been a "misdiagnosis" . (I am 56!) My daughter and I are carbon copies and we've both been traveling through life with struggles. I can only pray that my symptoms will be acknowledged by the medical profession. Don't look back, just be thankful that you're much better off than you were several months ago and that there is medicine that will help!

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I hear your frustration. I have three boys and a husband with ADHD and I am just realizing that it has been a major issue in my life. Only recently has anyone taken medication. We have all just seemed to cope with all that ADHD challenges us with. That being said I am 36 years old and am frustrated with how my life has gone. All the attributes that girls exhibt with ADHD, I as an adult woman, have too. It is strange to realize after all these years that I might have ADHD. It makes me somewhat angry also. As women we are looked over and even as an adult most professionals in the medical industry only seem to diagnos boys. It is hard to be your own addvocate. I also like horses and being outdoors. After 55 years of living with something you did not understand it is going to take some time to figure out what path you should go down.

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As an ADD Coach, I frequently work with mid-life adults who have been recently diagnosed. Within reason, it is never too late to start doing the things you would like to do in your life. It's a matter of attitude and motivation. I understand how difficult it can be not to look back at the "could haves" and "should haves", but learning how to move in a new positive direction and growing in positive ways is always possible! If you're finding it very difficult to do this on your own, I'd suggest working with a well trained and experienced ADD Coach. You'd be surprised at the new you! Rhonda Pawlan, M.S. CoachMeRhonda.com

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I'm happy to see so many supportive responses to your email. It's obvious that you've taken a big step to get help, and that's hard for most of us to do.

i've never stayed home--but maybe i should have! I'm 62 & have been in "treatment" for probably 10 years. I:'ve struggled with relationships; money; jobs. It's never easy, but we have to keep trying & we have to support each other. I'm fortunate to have had some really loving people in my life, but i still make them mad.

I think this article was helpful.

Good luck. Don't give up.

Ted

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Many people are starting brand new careers in their 50's and I think that is awesome that the workforce is now seeing that age group for the value they can provide.

You may be angry at what you have "lost" but it is never too late. I am 48 and have just been diagnosed (yesterday--that's how recent) and although it saddens me a bit at what I might have lost and may even be angered by not having been diagnosed in my youth, I am actually quite ecstatic now because I know that I will finally be helped, the fog will be lifted, and I can have a whole new life. Forget about all the bridges you have burned in the past; you are still young enough to build new ones; you can still chase your dreams and now have the ability to focus more on them. Maybe you will even find that what you have always wanted before isn't what you really want or need now--that is not failure; people change. Hang in there.

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I can really understand and relate to what you are saying. I have not been officially diagnosed yet, but have done enough reading to know I have struggled with ADD for a very long time. I am almost 55 myself, and plan to follow up and see if I can get some help for this. I had some of the same dreams you had, and have also felt those feelings that I might not be able to fulfill some of those dreams. I wanted to adopt and my now ex-husband did not want to. I have two sons, but always wanted a girl. One of my hardest things has been not being able to ride horses, also. That's what I get for marrying a city boy! I wish you the best in going forward with that dream! I'd love to be in touch via email, if you're interested. My address is naannygoat@yahoo.com.

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I am 39. I've been diagnosed only recently with ADD and I am too feeling the sadness of love lost, promises broken, projects unfulfilled. It's quite a challenge for me from moment to moment. I try to replicate all the good that I have done and then I lose myself very easily. It's nice to read all these stories but I am now going through the phase of feeling all alone and incapable of functioning productively in this world. I hope I can get back on track before it's too late.

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I am 42 and was just diagnosed with ADHD. I too have looked back at all that I was unable to accomplish even though these were things I really wanted. I also look at how much more I could have achieved in school, my career, my now ended marriage. My husband left me because he said I was sloppy, disorganized, and did not get thigns done (he is now remarried to someone with severe OCD, go figure!) I feel it is only nature to have all these feeling and would be concerned if we didn't have them. However, we need to live in the present. Acknowledge your feelings, accept them and move ahead. It is never too late to live the life you want. One great thing is to start a gratitude journal. Each night and/or morning take it out and write down the things you are grateful for. It could be as grand as getting to live in this great country in freedom or as simple as being grateful for the hugs your daughter gave you that day. This will help you realize what a wonderful life you do have. This also will help you to move forward with the things you still want to do. This has worked very well for me and others I know.

Best wishes to you!!!!!

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Thank you, one and all, for sharing what you have here. Maybe I'll get through this after all. Yesterday I discovered what ADD is exactly. I associated ADD with "special ed"--as in "the slow kids" way back in high school--boy was I wrong. I am 100% sure it describes me! I am 50. I am very creative and intelligent. I'm ambitious. I'm personable. And I haven't done a damn thing with my life. It's not been for lack of trying. I've tried and failed (or bailed) on so many directions, it's embarrassing. I'm still trying to get through college. (Attempt number ???) I've been diagnosed with just about every possiblity on the depression/anxiety spectrum and been on a dizzying (sometimes literally) array of meds. I'm overjoyed to find an answer that actually makes sense of everything I've experienced. And like many of you, I'm also devastated. My husband (second marriage--my ex thinks I'm a hopeless flake) suggested last night that perhaps all the many wasted years have just been part of a pilgrimage--a long, long journey to this new life. I'm trying to be philosophical, but I suspect there will be a grieving process in store for me, once I get over the shock. I am starting to see possiblities, too, though. I could finish my bachelor's degree. If I could just fix half of my focus and impulse problems, I might even be able to handle grad school. I could be a counselor--a long time, until-now impossible dream. Maybe I could do it for 20 years. Not a bad career, given what the future looked like two days ago. Now if I can just stop bursting into tears over the past. It helps that I'm not alone. Thanks again, everyone, for sharing what you have. And to the person who started this thread, I'll pass on what my cousin told me: Grief is a swamp, but the only way around is through. You're entitled to your anger. I hope someday soon, though, we can all look into the shiny new box of future we seem to have been given and see a lovely gift.

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