Hi there:

Thanks for posting and for sharing the challenges you face helping your son reach his full potential. It sounds like you've instituted a lot of great policies at school and at home - even if your son's teachers aren't cooperating yet, you've laid some great groundwork. I have a few ADDitude articles to suggest that might help you with next steps...

Talk to Your Teen About the ADHD Diagnosis: http://www.additudemag.com/q&a/ask_the_add_medical_expert/2504.html

A Parent's Guide to Explaining ADHD Treatment with Medication: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/850.html

ADHD Medication or Alternative Treatments?: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/811.html

Top 10 Questions about ADHD Medications... Answered!: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1592.html

A Parent's Guide to ADHD School Accommodations: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/749.html

Sample Letter to Request ADHD Accommodations at School: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/792.html

Helping the Teacher Help Your Child with ADHD Accommodations: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/744.html

Hope these help!

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Thank you for the links--they were really helpful and made me understand we are not alone in our struggle!

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...I'm not alone.

I cannot tell you how much it means to hear this story. I can so feel your pain and frustration. I have twin boys who are in the 7th grade and turned 13 in September. They too are identified as 'gifted and talented' and are currently in danger of being retained. Last week they were diagnosed with ADD without hyperactivity (by their pediatrician).

They did so very well through elementary school and have always tested exceptionally well ( PACT & MAP). When entering middle school, they applied to (and were accepted) an academic magnet program. From the get go, there were problems. For the first time, there progress reports were a nightmare. It got to the point were I wasn't looking for straight A's, I was praying it wasn't all F's. It sounds extreme...and it was. There were problems at home with homework, projects, chores, pencils, paper, etc. Everything was a 'battle'. Unfortunately, we struggled for almost two years before a diagnosis was made.

When I think about what we all have gone through, I feel so terribly sad for my boys. However, knowledge is power and we are all learning more each day. I am determined to enlighten us all so we can make the changes needed to insure that the boys can reach their full potential. The whole process and the lack of effective changes have definitely put a strain on the family and have caused an untold amount of stress for everyone involved. I have already found so much useful information and have tried to slowly make changes in the household and how I respond to them. Time...time will tell.

This site appears to be the salvation I needed. I have never felt so alone. It's hard for anyone to understand the struggle ...

Hopefully, I will be able to make some progress with the school. They haven't been too receptive to the idea of a 'talented and gifted' student having ADD. I truly feel they think it's an excuse (shaking my head), but with all of the information I have gathered and the more I read, the better prepared and more confident I feel. I hope to spend the summer (I work in a school) bringing light to the TAGwithADD (Talented and Gifted with Attention Deficit Disorder).

Okay, now I have been long winded, but it just feels so good to know the person on the other end understands. Thank you for the posts! I look forward to reading more!

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Reading your post was like reading our own story. Our daughter has done well in school (academically). This year she hit middle school and the organization issues really hit her hard. We talked to a psychologist who is the area "expert" on ADD, but he seems to think that because she is not failing, that she doesn't have a problem. She gets 0's on assignments that she has done because she loses them, she forgets to bring home the right books, she loses her calculator, flash drive, pens, etc. She gets angry when we try to work with her and help her. I'm wondering if anyone has resources on tips and tricks to working with middle school students. We need some concrete ideas to help us work with our daughter.

Like the others, I am glad to see that we are not alone! Thank you!

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Is she on any meds? As I think I said in my last post, I am wondering if that may make the difference in having them be receptive to some sort of organizational/behaviour plan, but I am going to talk to the pediatrician about it next week. The links above were really helpful...there is one about anger and how to give positive feedback that really hit home for me. What does your daughter LOVE to do? My son is really into musical theater and dance, and the more busy he is with that, the happier he is and his focus and performance is increased across the board--I also think because he is really good at it his self esteem is increased as well, which really helps!

Have you tried to get a 504 plan in place for her? Since her grades are good, if your school system is anything like ours, she probably won't qualify for one, but at least your concerns will be documented for the future. I have been asking the teachers to check and sign my son's agenda and notes home daily--they don't always do it, but it's a start. It makes me so angry that the way the education system is set up that these kids have to crash and burn before they can get help!!!

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