Hi Robin:

It sounds like you're facing a terribly rough situation, but obviously you care a great deal about helping your son get better. We've heard from a few other parents like you who see the number of lies begin spiraling out of control around the same age and we've got a few basic articles about bipolar disorder that you might want to read as well...

Problems with Lying: http://www.additudemag.com/q&a/ask_the_parenting_expert/1394.html

Is It ADHD or Bipolar Disorder? Decoding the Symptoms: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2511.html

Diagnosing Related Conditions in ADHD Children and Adults: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/774.html

Family Rules and Communication: http://www.additudemag.com/q&a/ask_the_parenting_expert/1350.html

I hope these help!

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...about Oppositional Defiant Disorder: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/879.html

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Our son is 14 and does just about the same thing. Ours will sneak food out of the fridge and cupboards and eat it in his room - he's not doing it because we starve him, but because he is not supposed to snack that way between meals. He is really pushing every rule we make, and it gets tiring. You really don't know when to trust them. I have ignored our son when he complains of some injury, because he does exaggerate for attention. I always wait a few hours to see what happens. I don't have an answer for you, except we are finally going to see a therapist about these behaviors and his rebellion in general. It's hard to punish for lying because by the time you find out they are telling a lie, the event has already happened. Sometimes I think our son lies about as easily as he breathes! And if you can't trust someone, you don't have much of a relationship.

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Many ADD are impulsive so when it doesn't work well they rather lie than owning up to it. Still after all these years I would rather have a pencil put in my eye then tell my husband that I impulsively did something. It is a hall mark of this diagnosis to be really inattentive to things lose them or being impulsive . I one time went to Mexico instead of telling my husband that a tentant had not paid his rent the way they were suppose to and left me a large financial hole. Sometimes when we are having problems in the school or hate the the subject we tend to ignore it as if it is going away. Being the class clown or tending to bully is not a hallmark of ADD but it is hallmark of a person who isn't feeling very good about themselves. I wouldn't yell ' but talk calmly and find out what is really going on with him. It may be simply a kid who is hving her hard time fitting in and doesn't know how to make it known.Being honest and calm goes a lot better with us ADD people start to yell and we will just let you because it rwally is a way to stimulate our minds so before you fall into the patttern don't do it.

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My daughter (diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome, ADD, OCD) is 16 and a habitual liar of four years now. The problem is so bad that if she tells me the sky outside is blue, I actually have to step outside just to make sure. I've got more gray hairs than I can count because of the constant worrying and following one step behind, and yet nothing seems to make the situation less severe or even register to her that there is a problem. I've simply come to the conclusion that I have to believe everything she says is a lie, double check the facts, and then draw conclusions once I have double (and triple) checked the facts.

One piece of advice I can offer on your situation is regarding your son's assignments. Rather than wait to see what (if any) assignments come home with my daughter, I obtain the e-mail addresses of all of her teachers at the beginning of the year. Each night, I receive an e-mail from her teachers regarding any assignments my daughter has, an outline of the requirements for the assignment, and a due date. If, in the course of conversation, it becomes apparent that my daughter has "lost" an assignment, the teacher immediately e-mails me a new assignment. Furthermore, as part of my daughter's Section 504 IEP, I keep an extra copy of all textbooks at home so that there can never be an excuse of, "I forgot my book."

Hope that helps regarding the school assignments. :)

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