Ugh! I know so many of these posts start with, "I'M AT MY WHIT'S END!" But truly -- that's where I am right now. I want to throw that stupid XBox out the window and watch it crumble into a million pieces! Microsoft should have called it "Divorce in a Box."

So here's my story -- I'm a 33 y.o. wife and mother married to an albeit kind and caring and sensitive (at times) man who spent the first 25 years of his life undiagnosed with ADHD -- until he met me. For you see, I'm NOT ADHD but I grew up in an ADHD household with an amazing mother who truly was a Pioneer in the ADD / ADHD arena -- back when there was no ADHD Dx, ONLY ADD... Anyway - both of my younger brothers were diagnosed when they were 5&7 in 1983. From that day my mother institutionalized the militant scheduling, overcompensated task lists, constant feedback (good and bad) that I was subject to, learned and knew nothing else. I have been that way ever since and it has allowed me and both of my brothers tremendous successes.

Anyway, I digress -- so I met my now hubby who entered into our family feeling like, "So THIS is what life SHOULD be like" -- having spent the first 1/4 century of his life feeling the constant frustrations, more failures than successes, ridicule, labels like "lazy" and "unmotivated", etc etc. When he was/is none of those things -- but his family didn't get it (and still doesn't) -- mine did. Great - he found his home in my family. We're married.

The first 2 years of our marriage were spent separated (a great way to get over that "first year" jiitters!) thanks to double enlistment in the Army. He was deployed immediately from completing his schooling and I was stationed back state-side. He finally returned home in Oct '04 and we've been under the same roof since.

5 Years later we're transitioning out of the Army. He's been out since December "waiting" for somone to walk up to our front door and hand him a job. He has been playing Mr. Mom to our 2 1/2 y.o. son since the New Year. However I'm learning that more time is spent w/ the XBox than our son while I'm at work every day...

I don't know if this is a depression that he is falling into -- he's taking Adderall along w/ Celexa. He recently reduced his Rx of Celexa after I finally got him to reason to the fact that he was sleeping ALL the time (upwards of 14hrs a day) and I felt that the Celexa was "doping" him up too much.

Now -- he has started with these All-nighters on the freakin' XBox live with this Call of Duty Crap that his "new found friends" (who are all 18 btw) think he's some Combat Vet from the Army -- like real life stuff.

So sure -- these younger, unaware online gamers are ego boosts to an otherwise deflated bravado. But he was still awake PLAYING this stupid game when I got up for work at 0700 this morning. At what point is this "medication" supposed to help him GROW UP?!

I have read so many of the stressed-out posts that people have written and feel good about the fact that we (I) have created the kind of structure in our homelife that allows us to stay afloat. (He doesn't even TOUCH the bills, I am a self-proclaimed Task Master, and we generally communicate really well -- even when I'm angry) But come on! I have heard about Video Games as a type of NeuroFeedback therapy but 14hrs of straight XBox is too much. I'm ready to give him an ultimatum -- the XBox or his family. I think what makes me so frustrated -- and I COGNITIVELY know that this is not true -- but if he even spent 1/2 the time and energy looking for a JOB that he does "shooting bad guys" then maybe I wouldn't be so bent. I know I know -- the "mundane" - the stress involved in job searching blah blah blah... He applied for unemployment 2 months after he was discharged (there goes 2 months of benefits) and then had to REapply because he wasn't making his weekly contact... So - 3 months later he's applying again. More money down the drain. I'm just mad. I'm mad that I feel like I have 2 kids not 1. I'm already feeling resentful after only 5 years of marriage and feeling as if I always have to be the "responsible one" the "thinker" the "organizer" -- this crap verges on enabling if you ask me. What does he have to do other than show up to the dinner table? I miss MayBerry. I feel like the Paternal Provider with all of the Maternal expectations. And I do love him -- and I believe in the sanctity of our vows -- but lately it seems that my life would be a whole lot LESS stressed if I were a single parent.

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