I think your wwife depression is not your fault you need to realize this and she needs to speak to a psychatrist and start treatment for herself. She needs to learn everything she can about ADD and realize we are not doing any of this on purpose; it is difficult for us to be in a interpersonal realationship; but it can be done. If I were you I would try to find a psychaitrist who deals with adult ADD/ADHD and have the two of you as a couple and alone need to learn and figure how to work out his relationship. Perfection is a bad idea since it is ever acheived. I would try to get one of the medications for me the best was Ritalin XR. There is a book that may help I believe the name is "Daring to Forgive" Attitude Magazine also has allot of relationship advice.GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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If I can help at all, I would highly recommend a book call ADD and Romance. It is by Jonathan Scott Halverstadt. I just started reading it, and it has REALLY helped me soooo much! One of the biggest things that the other mentions is helping us to understand that MOST arguments are a result of the other partner not feeling significant. If you forget everything else I said REMEMBER THIS ONE BIT: MOST ARGUMENTS ARE DO TO YOUR PARTNER NOT FEELING SIGNIFICANT. This helped me so much to realize that every time I was accused of being selfish, or forgetting a date, or making a decision without my partner, it's not the issue itself, it's the fact that he didn't feel significant. The author goes into this a great deal in the book and offers much helpful advice for non-ADDers to understand ADD, and to help ADDers understand the non. The other thing I would suggest also, (although I'm not a doctor, just a nurse) is that you try medication. See if you can find a psychiatrist of treats adult ADHD, or a psychologist who can reccomend meds to your primary care physician. They HELP BIG TIME. But even if you are doing the neurofeedback, and taking meds, you still need to learn the skills needed for a sucessful relationship. Go to counseling, by I would seriously recommend that book. Also if you are like me and you have issues with social skills I would reccomend another book called: What does everyone else know that I don't? The last name of the author is Novotni, you can find it on Amazon. It's a great GREAT book, and it teaches you a lot of REALLY helpful skills for learning to interact better socially. This will know doubt help improve things between you and your wife. Recapping: -Most arguments are about signifigance, and not the issue itself, -Seek out a psychiatrist and look into meds -Look for ADD and Romance, and What Does Everyone Else Know That I Don't? they are both awesome! Hope this helps! -Christy

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