Adult ADHDParenting ADHD ChildrenADHD TreatmentADHD and Learning DisabilitiesAttention Deficit
Page 1 of 1 1

active forum Post Reply

Thread : Need advice for my son / 15 yrs old/ Freshman  
13 Mar 2008 @ 10:35 PM
Laurie Join Date: Thu 13th Mar 2008
Threads: Posts:
Need advice for my son / 15 yrs old/ Freshman

My son is also failing classes. The one he has the most trouble with is Algebra. He does great on the homework but when he takes the tests he fails, even if he is in a quiet area. He knows the material but said 'it's just different.' That's the only way he could express it. I asked him if he wanted the test to be divided up and he said no, that wouldn't help. I never know what to ask for in an IEP and have no idea what method's to try in order that he passes. With our state's new guidelines (that started this year) he will either have to go to high school for 5 years or pay for summer school. He is on Straterra, we have an appt. with his psychiatrist soon. I am taking him off the Straterra because it doesn't do a thing for him but I prefer that he be on a non-narcotic also. If you have any ideas could you please share. I appreciate your time. Thank you!

Quote

14 Mar 2008 @ 8:18 AM Reply # 1
Patti J. Join Date: Fri 25th Jan 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 33
15-yr.-old

First of all, see if the teacher offers after-school tutoring. If you are in New York with Integrated Algebra, a lot of the teachers are all over the book. My son was not understanding his and it has taken 6 months to finally get something done with it. He actually participates in class now, not causing trouble, but participating. He goes to teacher after school for help, has help on weekends from family teacher and CSE/IEP advocate, and is now in Resource Room. I just got an e-mail from his wknd/family tutor that his math teacher had sent (teacher e-mails and has sent all materials to her to help Corey) that Corey is finally getting it! He has scored 90 and 89 on most recent quizzes, tests, and brought his grade up almost 50 points in one marking period!! Wonderful things happen when the school actually has to help your child. GET AN IEP and ask for additional tutoring (if in nothing but math/algebra) (a lot of ADHD kids are good once they get to trig too--which is now part of integrated algebra).

My advocate is always telling me, that if you have an IEP, the parent holds all the cards. Don't ask for unnecessary things, but things like tutoring, resource room, extra help after school, even someone for your child to talk to (a counselor, therapist -- it doesn't mean your child has issues, but you pay school taxes whether you rent/own) so let your taxes help pay for getting your child the best education you can.

Extra books and worksheets for home (have them sent to you or your e-mail address--do not depend upon your child to bring them home--remember, organization is one of the symptoms of ADHD; and forgetting things is part of that organization issue). Quiet area for tests Unlimited time for tests (within reason--but they can take an hour if needed, less if needed). With an IEP, it is the law thru NCLB that they do these things for your child.

Also, make sure EACH AND EVERY TEACHER has a copy of the IEP so they are aware of the requirements in the classroom. Many try to get around issues by claiming they were unaware of an IEP. Granted they have so many students that they are not able to read all of their student information, so that is where you come in to make sure they are aware of your child's needs. I plan on copying and handing a copy to ALL of my son's teachers next year. They have no excuses then.

Quote

Last edited by Patti J. : 14 Mar 2008 @ 8:19 AM. Reason:
14 Mar 2008 @ 8:59 AM Reply # 2
Laurie Join Date: Thu 13th Mar 2008
Threads: Posts:
15 year old

My son was receiving after school tutoring. However, the retired teacher taught so differerently it confused the students and made things even worse. We (along with other parents) were advised to pull him out. His regular teacher does not offer after school help. How/where do you get an advocate?

Quote

17 Mar 2008 @ 9:07 AM Reply # 3
Patti J. Join Date: Fri 25th Jan 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 33
advocacy

Firstly, the school tutoring.

Any tutor you use should have classroom materials that the teacher is using. Not their own. The retired teacher/tutor you all had should know that and should have received these materials from the teacher. Bad on both of them!! And you should tell both of them that (in a polite way of course. That tutor should not be tutoring something they don't know anyway.). I saw another idea listed last Friday about having friends over (if you are home) to do homework together (they can tutor each other and surprise you with what they actually know; you just need to make sure one of those kids is pretty good with the class.) My son's teacher sent materials to my step-mom (who is a teacher) re: what they were doing in class. She is not good at math but has enough knowledge to help and get him started and then they work it out together with the materials sent from his math teacher. Otherwise, she wouldn't be able to help/tutor him. They are both learning. Today's math is not what it was 10 years ago or even longer ago than that. Actually not even what it was 3 years ago in New York State.

Getting an advocate: As far as an advocate to help get an IEP/CSE for your child, check at your local Learning Disabled Center and see if there is anyone there that can help. Seek out other parents of learning disabled children from either your job and/or your husbands, any family member's etc. I have worked with someone for over 12 years that had an IEP for her kid and I didn't even know her kid had challenges! Until I started the IEP thing for my son with my advocate assistance.And start reading about the NCLB laws (they may go away in/around June, 2008) (google: NCLB laws, IEP, CSE, ADHD. You'll find it. That's how I found it sorting thru bunches of online stuff).

Ask at your pediatrician's office. The nurses, Dr. anyone that may be there. My meeting is on March 27th, maybe after that I can give more help. I have never been able to get this far without an advocate; 504 was it for my kid. She came in talked the talk and they offered the meeting after 1.5 meetings. I have always had my son thru the psychological evaluations every school change (from school to middle school and now 9th grade and again next year in 'high' school when he changes schools again). Remember, each time your child changes schools, the counselors, psychologists, principles and administration changes. So do views, beliefs, and assistance. (I don't mean districts, just schools. Each separate school within a district has it's own of each of the above.)

There may even be lawyers out there that are advocating for children within the school district area. I know in Rochester we used to have something like that. Call your local legal (county) bar association and ask them if there are any practicing lawyers that deal with childrens educational situations and know anything about CSE/IEP and NCLB issues. Might cost, I am lucky, I have a family member that is a teacher and knows about this stuff. She took care of CSE/IEP's for her students. Even your pediatrician (if they are willing) can have a major effect on what happens in school with teachers, counselors, psychologists, administration regarding meds, and certain things.

Good luck. I'll try to get back after my meeting and share what I learned.

Quote

Last edited by Patti J. : 17 Mar 2008 @ 9:16 AM. Reason:
4 Jun 2008 @ 3:56 PM Reply # 4
momof3 Join Date: Wed 4th Jun 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 5
I need advice for my son too

I have an almost 16 yr old son who is very similar to your son, although he didn't have the IEP. He began his innattentiveness and focusing problems in 4th grade. I can't say I have a lot of help or advice for your son because we have now been dealing with his problems and he just finished his Sophomore year in high school. He is very bright, smart, and loving kid who doesn't skip school, is not a behavior problem and just goes by under the radar and has for a long time. He is active in our church and is a Life Scout in Boy Scouts, on his way to Eagle Scout and he is highly praised for his continuing efforts in scouting by the staff who admire and think very highly of him which makes us very proud. I feel like we have been dealing with this part now longer than the time when he was in elementary school. We have the same conversations with him every 364 days a year (and all throughout the school year as well). He starts great and sinks midway through the year and then in a desperate attempt, he thinks he is studying and doing his best and he fails over half of his classes. I know his teachers on a first name basis and I am very involved in all three of my kids schools. I knew that would help to get to know the staff since we are so acustomed to dealiing with his acedemic problems. We've had him privately tested around 6-7th grade and his scores were so high they were off the chart. Then I began home schooling him for the remainder of 7th grade when the teacher couldn't account for his entire trimester of Lang Arts. The students were required to read then produce an in depth book report with over 10 requirements. He read the entire trimester and produced zero reports. But because he wasn't a behavior problem and he was actually reading, she didn't notice. I continued to home school him and then we moved and we felt it would be best to get him into the neighborhood school for 8th grade so he could make new friends. We had him evaluated for ADD ADHD having the outcome "undetermined" and then a second opinion and they wanted to mediate him which we did around 8th grade but it really made no difference. They increased the amount and even changed the meds and still no improvement. One time while being evaluated, the clinician said he was "great to have in the group eval and he even helped administer the testing to the other kids who were involved. At different times, we have taken away everthing from cell phone (which he's only had since high school) to his entire room (serioursly the whole room except the bed!) We even had to take away reading - which is really one of his great passions and that really made me cry. My husband and I just can't figure out what his "button" is. I feel that we have exhausted every possible option. One last thing we are currently considering is having a friend employ him to go menial labor grunt work for the summer in hopes of him realizing that getting his education will keep him from having to "settle" for a hard labor job. When you know that your child is more than capable and chooses not to perform in school, but because he is such a great guy and is not a delinquent it makes it very difficult to just sit around and hope for the best for his future. We have told him that doors are closing all around him and he doesn't even know it (the doors that could possibly lead to a successful future). Choices are being made and he doesn't even realize it. We have two girls 12 and 9 and I stayed home with them and they have a solid family life so please don't try to tell me that those things have any bearing on this. He is basically extremely lazy and it spreads throughout his life. Any tasks given at home rarely are completed with any accuracy and the frustration just mounts. He realizes this too and he just makes more excuses for his inability to complete the most basic of tasks. Of course when he knows that we are frustrated he jumps to attention and is willing to try at home but he keeps us snowed most of the year and even with the tools provided on the computer from the school dist. he doesn't follow up on missing assignments even though he says he will. This past semester he spent the last few months telling us the teacher had his assignment and she just hasn't had a chance to enter the grade when in reality she never received it and when she said she would accept it late, it never materialized. So here we are again 364 days later and it just keeps going round and round. Does anyone out there have any advice???????? This is definetley not the part I remember bargaining for when we decided to start our family, yeah I know the good with the bad and I realize that we don't really have it that bad, but believe me in our house the level of apathy is so distracting that I can hardly deal with all of the issues that come up with my other two kids. They are really the ones that lose out in this deal because of no fault of their own, they are missing out on time with me, their mom, and I desperately can't find a solution. I often tell my kids to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution and now I find that I can't even take my own advice. I feel that we have tried everything short of shock therapy! Signed, Beyond frustrated :(

Quote

Page 1 of 1 1

active forum Post Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Local Time : 7 Sep 2008 3:16 PM
(Sun, 07 Sep 2008 19:16:28 GMT)

Copyright © 1998 - 2007 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information.
New Hope Media, 39 W. 37th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10018