|
Lots of us single moms out there, huh?
Single mom, kids 8 & 11 -- all of us have a healthy serving of adhd with sides of depression (me), defiance (8-year-old daughter) and severe anxiety (11-year-old son). I work full-time in a Fortune 100 company, handling a workload that's supposed to be divided among two people. I have no family nearby, no support network to help with the kids yet my employer is leaning on me to stop missing deadlines, stop being late for meetings, and stop being so darned unreliable. I'm well-compensated but I'm beyond broke. I was forced to declare bankruptcy and I'm still struggling to keep my house. Now I'm afraid for my job! Cleaning my house is so far from a priority for me right now and I even forget how awful it really looks.
I tell you all of that because 5 times in the past year, on occasions where I forgot how god-awful my house is, a friend or neighbor who stopped by unexpectedly looked inside my house, grabbed me by the arm, rolled up their sleeves and forced me to clean my house with them! Believe me, it was mortifying. Just as mortifying the first time as it was the 5th. The entire time -- all 5 times -- I kept apologizing, making excuses, thanking them profusely. I just wanted to die. But you know what? I got to talk to an adult for a few hours each time! And my kids, who usually hover in an orbit just inches away from me, stayed far away from me for fear of being put to work. And I got to enjoy a clean house for at least a night. Long enough to down a bottle of wine!
So try this. You probably know people who are neat freaks or germophobes. They keep clean houses. They actually own a mop and that liquidy stuff I've seen in stores to help get the floor clean. They saturate every surface with antibacterial spray, and they'd never ever wipe a used knife on their pants & put it back in the drawer. You'd never dream of allowing them into your house. They're the ones you need most! So call one of them. Say, "This is going to be the wierdest thing anybody has ever asked you. But I'm really awful at keeping my house clean, and I wondered if you could help me? You must have some secrets, because your house always looks so perfect."
They'll say, "Ugh. My house is a pigsty! I can't stand the grime... but thanks for the compliment. And that's not a wierd favor -- I'd love to help you!" And they'll show up 30 minutes later and probably bring their own cleaning supplies to boot! You know what the best part is? Nobody will believe them when they talk about how disgusting your house was... because that's what they say about their own house!
If that doesn't work, find a church that offers child care and see if there are any weeknight groups or classes that appeal to you. You'll have a chance to think about yourself for a change and know that your kids are in a safe environment that probably won't cost you a thing.
Good luck...
Quote
|