My 24 year old has ADD and much of what you said in your post sounded like him at times. I think what you are going through is "normal." But you are getting help and that's important- my son will not get help. The issue with your parents esp. your dad sounds very familiar. Please know that it is very hard for non-ADDers to really understand what is going on in an ADDer's life or thoughts or feelings. We try, but because we do not experience your symptoms, we have a tough time really understanding everything. Also, since you are an adult, and recently diagnosed, you also need to understand that assistance for ADDers has increased significantly since you were in school. I always tell my son that I did what I thought was the best for him, but that we just didn't know very much. I don't know if that is what your parents also dealt with, but I am absolutely amazed at how ADD is handled now compared to when my son was in middle school. There are so many options today- there weren't that many years ago. I think the job loss you experience is also very common to some ADDers. It really does a number on your condfidence. But again, you have someone who can support you emotionally. As you get a better handle on how ADD expresses itself in you, I think you'll find things improve. I'm always surprised at people I know who have ADD and are very successful because they have learned what they need and how to make changes when necessary. Good luck- keep getting the help and support you need.

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Personally, I don't read the massive amounts of literature on the subject of ADHD. There, I admit it. I discuss books that other people have read! I have had this particular discussion. There are documented "phases" of the diagnosis process for ADDults, among other things of course. I do recommend some discussion and/or reading about it, Sari Solden has touched on the subject in Journeys Through Addulthood.

http://www.sarisolden.com

"Roadblocks After Initial Treatment

You may be one of the first-generation "ADDults" diagnosed over the past several years. This diagnosis most likely brought you enormous relief and hope, even if mixed at times with feelings of grief and loss. Your diagnosis may have been the end of a "Crisis of Confusion," a long search for answers about an array of confusing, baffling, and very troublesome symptoms that you struggled with your entire life. If you are like many adults who weren't diagnosed as a child, the pervasiveness and seriousness of these kinds of struggles may have been invisible to all except those closest to you. Eventually, you may have taken a battery of tests that confirmed the difficulties that you and others may have written off as character flaws.

Finally, after many years, you understood why you felt so different all your life. You knew why so many things never made any sense to you, or why you had so much trouble in some areas even if you did well in others. You began to understand why your life course had led to dead ends and frustration, despite your ability, interest, and early promise.

After this startling discovery and diagnosis, you may have started treatment that probably consisted of education about AD/HD, as well as medication that brought you relief from the most troublesome symptoms. You suddenly could focus, you had energy, and you agreed with the people who said getting treatment was like putting on glasses for the first time. Things began to look up for you, and you let yourself begin to hope again. You may have felt that finally your problems were solved, that everything would now be OK. During this initial period of treatment, you may have received counseling and gone through what we call a "grief cycle" (see chapter 1), where you mourned your losses, felt anger at lost opportunities, and eventually came to what we call "acceptance" of your AD/HD. You may have attended conferences, where for the first time you met other adults like you-a whole new world of people-and realized you weren't alone. This experience was exhilarating, comforting, and educational; you may have seen dazzling slides of brain images and become somewhat of an expert on neurotransmitters. Many of you went home determined to begin your new life. Just think, a new you! This time you could do it! ....."

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I went through a lot of the same things you are going through. My dad has ADD also (wasn't diagnosed until my little brother was diagnosed) but he uses behavior modification to treat it. He doesn't understand why I can't do the same. You didn't mention if you were on medication or not...I know getting the right does of medicine was critical for me early on. The wrong dose (especially if it was too low) were as frustrating to me as no medicine at all.

One thing that helped me with job stability is taking a good hard look at my strengths and weaknesses. I can't sit at a computer all day, so that ruled out some jobs. I can't be my own boss, because I never get anything done. Jobs that keep my stimulated and active work best for me, but it took a lot for me to figure this out. Also, there are dreams I had before my diagnosis that deem so distant to me. I know that one day I'll be able to re-evaluate them, but right now it's just frustrating. Be patient and let yourself off the hook a little. If I sat down and thought about it I could make a list of everything I had ever fouled up, all the things I wanted to do and didn't, and all the things I should do and never get around to it. Adults with ADD are more prone to depression and anxiety and I've found (in my own experience) the best way to start one of those cycles is to get down on myself or let others get me down.

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I went through a lot of the same things you are going through. My dad has ADD also (wasn't diagnosed until my little brother was diagnosed) but he uses behavior modification to treat it. He doesn't understand why I can't do the same. You didn't mention if you were on medication or not...I know getting the right does of medicine was critical for me early on. The wrong dose (especially if it was too low) were as frustrating to me as no medicine at all.

One thing that helped me with job stability is taking a good hard look at my strengths and weaknesses. I can't sit at a computer all day, so that ruled out some jobs. I can't be my own boss, because I never get anything done. Jobs that keep my stimulated and active work best for me, but it took a lot for me to figure this out. Also, there are dreams I had before my diagnosis that deem so distant to me. I know that one day I'll be able to re-evaluate them, but right now it's just frustrating. Be patient and let yourself off the hook a little. If I sat down and thought about it I could make a list of everything I had ever fouled up, all the things I wanted to do and didn't, and all the things I should do and never get around to it. Adults with ADD are more prone to depression and anxiety and I've found (in my own experience) the best way to start one of those cycles is to get down on myself or let others get me down.

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