ADHD in girls manifests itself more in the inattentive sypmtoms than the hyperactive ones. Check out the literature on it.

As for impulse control, how about breathe deeply in and out 3x. Close your eyes and think before doing or saying something? It's like a reboot for ADHDers.

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but the only thing I've found even close to getting a result is when I'm with her - I actually stop her before every little decision (taking a step, turning a direction, etc) and having her think it through. I wanted to demonstrate what we were wanting from her so she understood.

It's when she's in these uncomfortable situations that she seems to have the most trouble. I think what I'll do first is have the adult in those situations (teacher, gym teacher, lunch monitor) just be aware and try to draw her back when they see the sillies starting.

I feel incredibly out of control with this because nothing I've tried works. She can tell you after the fact the right choice to make but when she's in the situation, it's almost like a panic like situation for her.

Thanks for the idea.

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Lee-Ann

I have a couple of thoughts here - particularly I wish that I knew more about this computer screening test. As a professional - I would be curious to know what other steps were taken to evaluate your daughter? A diagnosis should never be made from just one test. A complete evaluation should consider behaviors, observations, teacher & parent reports, and a thorough interview with your child (to say the least).

I am also very struck by the comment you share with us that your daughter is in an "academically talented" program at school. "Gifted" students / children show many of the same signs that we see as characteristic of ADHD. Just something to consider...

I also wonder (and ask everyone this question), what else might be going on? There are countless stressors, medical and health issues or problems that can make someone display signs that are consistent with ADHD.

I am not suggesting that it is not ADHD, but there could be more going on here - and many people tend to overlook that when trying to treat ADHD. There is so much attention paid to the symptoms we can observe, and not a lot paid to what is going on in the child's life - at home, at school, with her peers, etc...

Just some thoughts.

Rory

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Rory,

you raise very good questions.

First - the computer screening was done after the BASC and Vanderbilt questionaires - sorry I forgot to mention those.

Second - I realize that high intelligence can sometimes be mistaken for ADHD or those tendencies - but this is more than that. More than anything, the school is pushing me to get her outside help for what they've called "impulsive behavior". I'm not convinced that's what it is (though the computer screening he did last week did show some impulsivity) over bad choices made in uncertain situations. But I do know that she has always been active, high spirited and impulsive - since she was tiny. So I think there's probably some of it there. which is why I'm grateful that he's going to give her some strategies to use when she gets into the uncertain situations. She really is such a cool kid but she does have social downfalls and if I hadn't witnessed them myself - I'd still be baffled as to what caused these issues.

At this point, the school is nitpicking her to death - writing her up for the stupidest things. And while they teach and try to inform parents at that school about "asynchronous development" (high intelligence + low social/emotional development) they don't seem to take it into account.

But in looking over this website (it's FANTASTIC!) I've found some things that will help her. She isn't the most organized kid with her school things (but is with other things) and so I've found some ideas to help her with that.

I appreciate your thoughts and I did read them carefully and be sure that I had looked at everything. We really have. She is a very non-typically talented kid - she's extremely extroverted and her self-confidence academically is astounding. She has suffered a bit in the esteem area this year because of the behavior problems we've had at school but otherwise seems to be doing ok.

Home she's fantastic. We have a great time with her and her 2 younger brothers and she's really a gem. But the ratio is 1:3 instead of 1:25 - big difference for her. And there is very little unstructured or unsupervised time - where when she's at school at lunch, the monitor wanders from room to room (they eat in their classes) and isn't always around them. She has always thrived on structure and so we've just always done it. Like I said, she's been t his way as long as I can remember - but has recently improved so much I thought she was just maturing. But now the school is really pushing hard to get her to see someone outside of school (which is when I took her the first time).

In watching her and listening to her and listening to the people at school - I've found she's most likely to have trouble when she's in an unstructured unsure environment. Usually with peers - she tends to feel less than adequate or like she'll do something wrong. This manifests itself with her being goofy and really sillly and then doing something impulsive. It's not constant and it's not multiple impulsive issues - but it's enough to cause a problem. She's aware of it. I was able to see it start in a situation last week and pull her aside and reassure her. That took care of it - that was the first time that words had been able to help. It was really fascinating to me to watch. But I credit that to her age and maturity now vs. other attempts.

Ok - this is wordy - I do appreciate your feedback very much!!

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Lee-Ann,

The reason I advocate so strongly, and asked the questions I did is that I faced some of the same "problems" as a child. I was placed in a gifted program, did very well in school (until high school)... but I was very careless. Some people call it "impulsive" because I responded to quickly or sometimes I didn't read through a question thoroughly before answering.

This type of impulsivity is quite common in ADHD as I am sure you know. So I guess I share this information with the hope of saying - whether it is ADHD or something else - the proof is in how people handle the situation. I had to learn skills to slow down and double check my work. I had to develop strategies that allowed me to slow down and read things more thoroughly.

Do I have ADHD? No...but all that I know about suggests that there are skills I must learn to compensate for some of the things / behaviors that can get me into trouble.

All the best.

Rory

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Rory,

I hope you don't think I was arguing with you or anything like that. I'm honestly so brand new to this whole thing that I don't know where my kid falls. All I can give is information on how she acts/reacts to certain situations.

And the screening simply says she falls under that category - I don't know what the doc's official take on it is - but I don't see a label in her future. We'll see though.

Can you give me some ideas on what helped you learn to slow down and think things through before you acted? This is our biggest hurdle with my daughter and you and she sound very much alike. I just wonder if some of the things that you learned would help her. I realize you were a lot older when you learned them, but maybe she can pick up something out of it.

I've also instituted an accordian file for her for her school stuff. She is excited about it and I'm encouraged that she may actually be able to make this work. So - we'll see.

Thanks again - I really am being truthful when I say I appreciate your thoughts!

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I have started working with my son on Mental Toughness. It usually is mental discipline for ahtletes and people that compete such as in band solos or piano recitals, etc. There is a lot of information on the web about Mental toughness and I am applying the same strategies with my children. It takes awhile for any of us to change behavior so my thought is it will take awhile to change my sons behavior as well. Our children need mental discipline as well and I believe some of the strategies will help.

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