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Thread : Reaching the Undiagnosed  
31 Jan 2008 @ 10:45 AM
ADDAWAY Join Date: Sun 6th Jan 2008
Threads: 10 Posts: 49
Reaching the Undiagnosed

What can we adult ADDers do to help the 8-9 million undiagnosed adults (apart from the suggestions for the National ADHD Awareness Day)? Is there any way to identify the "invisible ADDer" and get the word out to that person?

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2 Feb 2008 @ 11:11 AM Reply # 1
elizabethvsloan Join Date: Wed 30th Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 14
Touchy Subject

Addaway: I am not sure if you mean on a personal level or "national/global" level.

Personal level: getting the word out to undiagnosed adults... I think people need to be ready for it, emotionally.

Thinking back, I remember a couple of situations where friends of mine casually mentioned something about ADD, with or without the title and I blew them off. I wasn't educated, I didn't recognize a lot of the issues I was having stemmed from ADHD.

I do the same thing to other people, only when it is very obvious to me! And it seems like I get blown off. I stopped doing it. Now, those are the people I casually mention my ADHD. Not "in-your-face" tactics, but more like... yeah, I have memory problems too (or any of the Fill-in-the-blank" issues), and after some time make some comment about my ADHD... and then act like it's obvious... "yeah, why else did you think I have all those issues? It's ADHD, don't you know the facts from the stereotypes?"

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2 Feb 2008 @ 6:20 PM Reply # 2
badger Join Date: Thu 8th Nov 2007
Threads: 3 Posts: 90
Reaching the Undiagnosed

I've noticed that most people with it don't want others to know they have ADD/ADHD let alone are taking medication for it. If I mention that I have it or blame a behavior on it the other person usually will admit it. I guess suddenly they don't feel all alone anymore. The person will usually start asking me about different behavioral questions and try to get my help on how I deal with them. Or, I will recognize the behavior and ask them if they are ADD/ADHD. Then it seems to give them an open to speak about it.

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2 Feb 2008 @ 11:46 PM Reply # 3
Elaine20 Join Date: Sat 10th Nov 2007
Threads: 5 Posts: 265
Reaching the Undiagnosed

You have to be careful what you say as some people will get offended if you mention they might have ADHD. I casually bring things up in conversation, relating to my son's ADHD or my husband's ADHD, etc. I also have an open, positive view of my family's ADHD. I don't see it as something to be ashamed of or hide and hopefully that comes through in my conversation.

If someone is complaining about a particular trait that could be ADHD and I can relate to it, I will comment on it. For example, someone was talking about how their son cannot start a project without parents' help and the frustrating things that go along with it. I'll tell them how we used to have the same problem with my son and the frustration it caused us. And then I will tell them how his diagnosis and medication made a huge difference in that particular problem. Even if it doesn't encourage them to explore the issue more at that time, it plants a seed in their mind. And because of my openness about ADHD, I have had people come up to me and question me about the possibility of ADHD in themselves or their child. Many times I have had the opportunity to correct a common myth about ADHD. You can't force someone to listen to you if they don't want to. But by keeping yourself educated and prepared to seize the opportunity when it comes, you may be able to discuss it. Oh, and if you happen to be reading a book or magazine on ADHD, bring it with you to the soccer or baseball fields, or the doctor or dentist's office. I've had people notice what I was reading and make a comment or ask a question.

Elaine

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3 Feb 2008 @ 8:34 AM Reply # 4
badger Join Date: Thu 8th Nov 2007
Threads: 3 Posts: 90
Reaching the Undiagnosed

Cool Elaine!!!!!!! Great information. Thanks

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4 Feb 2008 @ 2:12 AM Reply # 5
ADDAWAY Join Date: Sun 6th Jan 2008
Threads: 10 Posts: 49
Personal & Global

Elaine & Elizabeth: Thanks so much for your insights from your personal experience.

Elizabeth: If you wish to post some global solutions, that would be great too. I think we all could benefit from hearing/doing more about it. Your heart goes out to all those that are in the same ADD-ignorant boat we were in only a few paddles away.

Badger: I know exactly what you feel and have described in your post. The 2 Es have given us a great way to approach this.

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15 Feb 2008 @ 9:50 PM Reply # 6
2000AD Join Date: Fri 15th Feb 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 5
Green

I feel the need to help others but I am too green myself. Oddly, my brother thinks he may have it now. We are different in many ways, but it is somewhat believable. I could see being wrong about making suggestions. I think the best way to help is to listen for it when someone is out looking for help. I did for years and didn't even know what for.

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16 Feb 2008 @ 8:41 AM Reply # 7
hyperfocusqueen Join Date: Sat 19th Jan 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 17
I REALLY want to tell a colleague that I think he has it...

A couple years ago one of my law partners was in my office rambling on in the very funny way that he does, telling stories, jumping around, gesturing, making me laugh, chewing gumballs like they're going out of style (I keep a machine in my office) and just generally being, well, I now realize, very ADHD-ish. And he suddenly said to me, "You know, you and i have a lot of the same kinds of work issues, and I was diagnosed with ADHD and I think you have it, too." I expressed surprise (because I always saw ADHD as a kind of learning disability so wouldn't have expected a very high-functioning litigator type like him to have it) and he said, "Yeah, I'm thinking of trying the medication, too. Anyway, you should check it out." That was my first warning. To this day, I am very thankful that he said that. It made me a little more receptive when the therapist that I went to go see about my tendencey to procrastinate suggested that that's what this was.

Anyway, we've got another colleague who is depressed as hell, has horrible time management, is always late with things, can't organize his office to save his life (and therefore loses file documents) and can't get his time in. But he's talented, clearly talented. And because I'm a partner and know one of our managing partners well, I know that he's taking medication for the depression (finally, I guess it took him YEARS to go for treatment for that), and I SO want to give him the hint about ADD like my partner did. But I know that he won't be receptive. And I'm not supposed to know about the whole depression thing, so I can't warn him that if he ONLY takes SSRIs, the ADD will get worse, not better.

Sigh. I tried telling him about my diagnosis over a beer, hoping that that might make him receptive. It didn't. I don't want to go any further than that for fear that it will upset him because he'll know that I know about the treatment for depression. Ah, but he'd be so assisted if he also had meds for the ADD and knew what he needed to do to better organize his life...

HFQ

P.S. Ok, yes, I AM procrastinating now. Just waiting for the Adderall to kick in! ;-)

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20 Feb 2008 @ 9:14 AM Reply # 8
ADDAWAY Join Date: Sun 6th Jan 2008
Threads: 10 Posts: 49
The Undiagnosed

HFQ:

You've shown him that you know a lot about the ADD. You've told him how you learned you had ADD and how you came to recognize that fact. You've told him about your struggles to limit the ADD urges. You've described the mental twists that lead you and others into ADD behaviors. If he has ADD, he may recognize it right away or decide for himself to see a professional about it. You can bring the topic up from time to time. You were wise not to brand him. Let him draw his own conclusions.

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20 Feb 2008 @ 9:56 AM Reply # 9
shawn50219 Join Date: Tue 19th Feb 2008
Threads: 4 Posts: 2
Reaching the undiagnosed: a personal experience.

I know that when I was first diagnosed, I was afraid that if any one knew that I would be labeled as stupid or that if my employer found out that they may try to get rid of me in some way. From my experience it is the lack of education that people have about ADD/ADHD. With an ADD person the disability is not easily recognized, say with someone who may have M.D where the symptoms are visible. I had this experience at a recent job that I was at. When I finally told my employer they looked at me like I was making up an excuse for my job performance. They basically told me to grow out of it and looked at me like I was stupid. So I think we need to first change the way "normal" people view ADD/ADHD, then encourage the undiagnosed to seek out a diagnoses.

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20 Feb 2008 @ 1:49 PM Reply # 10
Elaine20 Join Date: Sat 10th Nov 2007
Threads: 5 Posts: 265
Reaching the undiagnosed

I googled "famous people with ADHD" and found some impressive people on the list (some of which I was already aware). This might be helpful for those who think it is a bad label or that ADHD means someone is stupid. Some of the people mentioned are: Thomas Edison, Ben Franklin, Albert Einstein, Vincent Van Gogh, Picasso, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Sylvester Stallone, Pete Rose, Terry Bradshaw, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs of Apple computers, Richard Branson, Charlotte and Emily Bronte and Bill Gates. I'd hardly say Albert Einstein or Bill Gates is stupid.

And at least two thirds of those with ADHD symptoms in childhood continue to have it as an adult. Our doctor had said that some of those who have ADHD with the hyperactivity may grow out of it (part of it depends on what area of the brain is affected) but those with the inattentive type of ADHD do not grow out of it.

Abigail

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8 Mar 2008 @ 10:57 PM Reply # 11
elizabethvsloan Join Date: Wed 30th Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 14
Oops... fell of the wagon!

Sorry, I got distracted and forgot to check in to this site in... about a month! Why isn't there an email reminder to flag threads on this site?! Without that I would never typically return to any "interesting" site to which I belong!

Attaway: I don't have any global thoughts. At this point in my life I am trying to take care of me and mine and can't think of how to raise the global awareness.

I choose to discuss my ADHD with my staff, not at first though. After getting to know me; I do mention it in some offhand way. Shrug and say it's me, and don't be suprised if I forget your name on any particular day... It is a matter of fact for everybody except (upper) management.

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17 Apr 2008 @ 8:33 PM Reply # 12
Graywulf Join Date: Thu 17th Apr 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 30
Reaching the undiagnosed - me

I'm not sure why I didn't look into this sooner. I've suspected for about 2 years I was at least ADD, if not ADHD. My Cousin is undiagnosed, but her son has been diagnosed - as well as my nephew. I also suspect both my siblings have ADHD, and that my mother had it as well.

My cousin and I have had many a long talk (and I do mean long - ADHD X 2 on the phone = 7 hour phone call - long distance!) and ADD was normally talked about part of the time. My cousin had gently been suggesting I do some research, and I finally did.

The night I received the books I'd ordered, I started in on the one book that resonated with me - Women with ADHD. After a few hours, I started doing some further research online, and took a list of "red flags" for Adult ADHD, and then started adding annecdotal information where applicable. I quickly realized just how bad it was. I had a doctor's appt the next day, and I asked my doctor for a referral. I'm currently waiting for my assessment.

I'll admit, after the doctor's appt, some of the info I'd read hit home. You see, I also suspect I'm experiencing PMDD and I'm in perimenopause, which could mean, its only going to get worse as perimenopause progresses into menopause. Two years ago when I first started to suspect I was ADHD, I was just entering perimenopause, and the mood swings were givng me flashbacks to being a teen. They were not nice, and could be extreme.

Knowing what I suspect, I've passed some of the info to my best friend, and colleague at work (she's my team lead and a friend of more than 30 years).

I've also provided the same info to my boss. I took this step, only because she herself has a son who has ADD. After reading some of the lit I gave her, she's now going to share it with her best friend, who has a teenaged daughter my boss now suspects has ADHD....

For me - its chosing who I pass the information to, and pretty much knowing that it will be accepted without prejudice. It's a bonus that that information will be passed on to help others who are potentially undiagnosed.

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