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| Lkat |
Join Date:
Wed 30th Jan 2008
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Lack of motivation
I'm new here. I have a 12 year old ADD son who has NO motivation to do anything other than play - computer or video games or with his friends. He thinks all school is stupid and pointless - the old "when am I ever going to need this?" thing. He's very bright, but you'd never know it to look at his schoolwork. We've tried everything, from praise, taking away privileges, etc, but nothing seems to really make a difference, at least not a lasting difference. He'll be in 7th grade next year, and I'm afraid that if he doesn't start buckling down now, he'll get so far behind he'll never catch up. Is this normal with ADD kids? |
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| momof3boys |
Join Date:
Sun 13th Jan 2008
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this is what i finally did
My son isn't motivated in school AT ALL. He likes to get good grades on tests,but doesn't want to put forth the effort to really buckle down and study. He puts real simple answers for daily work so he could do better there. He has some attentional issues and learning problems. I have tried meds(didn't work)and behavioral charts(didn't work either)..what DID work was taking the one thing he LOVES...Screen time...and using that. I told each of his teachers,he's in 8th, that if he isn't paying attention,quiet,doing his work and on task I need to get an email from them...if he is fine, then I don't need one. If I get an email from any of his teachers he loses all forms of screen time(tv,movies,computer,ps2)etc. Now, he isn't one that spends his whole night in front of the screen,we live on a farm and he loves to mess around outside,but if he can't have ANY screen time at all,he thinks he is dying. His behavior has turned around tremendously because of this. You could use this,maybe for your son, if he is not turning in homework or doing a good job on the homework that he does do, a teacher could email you and then cut out screen time. I think this works well,because it is so cut and dry. Its up to him. Its his fault and only his fault if he misses out. Theres no arguing or discussing or backing down. Its funny,because he about went bonkers the first time he missed out. He could have went outside and played,but no,he walks all over the house moaning and sighing and driving me crazy(even though I tried not to show it)...he didn't get another email for a LONG time after that! Some kids are NEVER going to be motivated in school and I think kids with adhd are even more likely to be this way. Maybe try this and see??? Good luck |
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| Imom |
Join Date:
Thu 31st Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 1 |
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Our Teen son isnt motivated either, no more privileges to take a
15 yr teen smart guy, seems to slack off in class, talks the talk but seems to feel like he doesnt need to work up to class expectations. Wants to put self through high school by internet, we parents do think socialization and regular (or advanced) classes are needed for college preperation. Totally hyperfocus on computer and tv at home. doesnt prefer team physical activity just now. 504 (er, shell of one) is in place, but just paper for now. Tried coach, teens smart, ate snacks, played hot'cold folder game, we paid, Teen won, still didnt do schoolwork. Another doctor another counselor another coach? who knows! Any Ideas? yup meds ok for now. Not at wits end, but wondering what to do. thanks so much, M&D (er, Mom and Dad - smile!) |
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| scrapmom2 |
Join Date:
Thu 31st Jan 2008
Threads: 0 Posts: 1 |
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8 year old with no motivation
My son is 8 and is in 3rd grade. He was formally diagnosed @ the beginning of 2nd grade and we put him on meds. He has switched meds, changed doses, stopped all together, Our pediatrician says that he doesn't think that motivation (lack of) has anything to do with ADHD. He is right, on the one hand I think kids these days do lack motivation on a whole, do to the fact that there is so much out there that we just HAND them, because they convince us they have to have it because everyone else does, and they don't have to do anything for it. But just from reading the postings before mine, I do think lack of motivation is a bigger problem in children that have ADHD. I don't know what the answer is. At 8 years old, it is hard to try to explain the importance of getting a good education. It is not exactly on his level of understanding, that one day he will need a good job to get a nice home, nice car, etc. While I'm explaining this to him, he just looks around the room. so, I haven't figured this one out yet. My principal told me that all of the explaining is too far over his head now, that he doesn't need to be given reasons why he should do well in school, just cut and dry, you either do good or you deal with the consequences, whether it's failing the grade, or punishment of some sort. All I know is that it is a daily struggle to help him find the importance of doing anything he doesn't want to do, which is pretty much play. |
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| Lkat |
Join Date:
Wed 30th Jan 2008
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Thank you
Thanks to all of you who replied. I guess lack of motivation is a big problem for many of us. It may not be a typical symptom of AD/HD, but my other two kids, neither of whom are AD/HD, don't have nearly the problems with it that my older son does. We've tried removing screen time, and it works temporarily, but he always falls back into the same old thing. I want something to work permanently, but that's probably not likely to happen. Oh well, I guess we'll just keep on, keeping on. |
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| TJ |
Join Date:
Sat 2nd Feb 2008
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Lack of motivation
Instead of the negative/punishment or loss, how about a positive? My daughter was struggling with her homework completing and then turning into teachers and going to swim practice without complaining. We set a schedule and check in on the school Webgrader beginning and mid week, and kept track of practices attended. She could trade in positive check ins ( less missing or late to start and no missing or late later in the month) for Itune songs for her Ipod. So many equalled a song earned. (Cheaper than buying CDs). We set a paint your room date and friends over for pizza as encouraging rewards. Once she got back on track with school work and practices and into good habits again, less arguing and whining, more work accomplished, and help around the house. We are also doing more together as a family. Big improvements. TJ |
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